Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject turned to sex. ';You know, John %26amp; I have been having some sexual problems.'; Linda told her friend.
';That's amazing!'; Mary replied, ';So have Tom and I.';
';We're thinking of going to a sex therapist.'; said Linda
';Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!'; responded Mary. ';But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?';
Several weeks passed and they met for lunch again. ';So, how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?';
';Things couldn't be better!';, Linda exclaimed. ';We began with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it's better than it's ever been!';
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist. After the physical exams were completed the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office. ';I'm afraid there is nothing I can do for you,'; he said.
';But doctor,'; Mary complained, ';You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can't you give us some help? Any help at all?';
';Well, OK,'; the doctor answered. ';On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios…….';Therapy joke. Star?
lol nice thats really goodTherapy joke. Star?
hahaha...there's something new lol
hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
funny as hell hahahahahaha lol
Actually made me laugh out loud! Fantastic joke! = )
Haaaaa Haaaa Haaaaa That is so funny I haven't laughed that hard in a few days. Thanks so much !
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
deffinatlyy deserves a starrr
Ha! Funny! 10!
that's funny lol
Funny joke.
Oh my hahahaha
lmao
that was funny
Friday, November 12, 2010
That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
Long story, please read and let me know who you think was at fault:
Last night, girl really wanted to go to the park at the school behind our house. so when girl asked during dinner, it took me a minute to decide what to do. She of course began berating me about it, so I told her, ';Maybe we can go to the park after dinner. I'll think about it.'; It was shortly thereafter that I realized my daughter is a manipulative genius.
The dinner conversation after that,went from talk about the daily grind at work, to who was doing baths and who was doing dishes, to what the kids needed for day-care tomorrow. This week is recycleables week at day-care, so each day the kids need to bring in a different item to recycle by turning it into some art project. Today, they needed to bring in a newspaper. We don't generally read newspapers, so we didn't have any. Wife and I were discussing who/when we would go get a newspaper. Would I run to the store while wife gave the kids baths? Maybe wife would take the kids to the park, and while they were there, I could go get the paper?
There 4 year old girl began her silver-tongued control of the conversation. She started with misdirection. She started asking a million questions, initially rehashing what had already been discussed. ';Daddy, are you going to get the paper?'; ';When are you going?'; ';Miss Colleen has extra stuff so when kids forget, she has stuff for them.'; ';The other day, Marissa didn't have a milk jug, so Miss Colleen gave her one.'; Then, after a brief pause, when our minds were already reeling from the information overload, she blurted out, ';When Mommy takes us to the park, could you just go to the store and get a newspaper then?';
It's subtle, but notice how she took the ';maybe'; that I gave her in the beginning, and matter-of-factly turned it into a definite, when she said ';when';. She also ended the statement with a yes or no question. She was like a lawyer at trial, asking a presumably innocent question, but partnering it with an assumption that she was trying to make everyone else believe. If I had answered ';yes'; that I could do that, I would also have been answering ';yes'; to going to the park. Amazed, I carefully answered, ';We'll see.';
Unfazed, she smoothly, flawlessly shifted her offensive to wife, again relying heavily on the misdirection.
';Mommy took us to the park last time, right Mommy.';
';Uh-huh,'; Wife replied pushing around some food on her plate.
';Remember we played on the swings?';
';Yup,'; Wife replied not looking up from her plate.
';So can we do that again tonight?'
';Uh-huh.';
I was AMAZED. Girl had just pulled the old trick/joke:
';What do you put on your pillow?';
';Head.';
';What do you sleep on at night?';
';Bed.';
';What do you take out of a toaster?';
';Bread.';
';No, toast, silly!';
On hearing Wife's last ';uh-uh';, daughter lit up. She started babbling, all excited. Wife still wasn't quite listening. I called to her, ';woman鈥oman!'; to kind of snap her out of it. She did, and I had to explain to her that she just agreed to take the kids to the park. She quickly corrected daughter, and informed her that she had not realized what she had said.
This is what I think: Adults can get away with giving ambiguous answers like ';maybe'; then follow up with conversation as to what that maybe would be, gettingthe kid's hopes high (it's a 4 year old we are talking about) then turn around and blame the kid for assuming you would do what you said you MAY do. Which I think it's pretty cruel
Not only that, the mom did say yes and then wen't back on her word saying ';she wasn't paying attention'; if you crashed your car and you excuse was that ';you weren't paying attention'; how would that fly?
I think the kid did learn a lesson here and it was not to get her hopes high and not to trust adults.That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
Kids are good at manipulation. I also believe that when they hear 'maybe' they process it as 'yes'. I try not to give a maybe answer. I try to give a yes or a no, so that there's no arguments later.That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
You've got yourself a future litigator on your hands. Start saving up for Law school now.
Haha damn smart kid i think she got the best of ya ';mom'; don't feel bad i think its a good thing for a kid to show a bit of manipulation it will help him/her in the Future ya know when life stabs you in the back and you got to chest your way to the top. im only 16 life has not done that to me yet but i am expecting it to hehe
My daughter surprised me one day. She asked if we could get some treat or other when we went shopping. I said ';We'll see.'; She replied ';That always means no.'; Kids are smarter than we give them credit for being.
I have since explained to her that I don't always know if I can honour her requests. I don't want to say no, and disappoint her, and I don't want to say yes, and find out I can't, and then disappoint her, and also be branded as a liar. We'll see means exactly that.
I think your girl's parents need to listen when she is talking. The parents were at fault.
Also, buying a newspaper just so your child can take it for a craft project seems to defeat the purpose of recycling, don't ya think!
I did read the entire thing....I have dealt with kids just like that while babysitting, and all I can say is that you need to (kind of) break their spirit at times (not their spirit as in their happiness...just their willingness to manipulate. You need to nip it in the bud). For your daughter's sake, be more firm with her and remind her who the parent is, or it will become a life-long thing. You are here to mold her into an accepting person. She needs to be more accepting and less manipulative or life is going to suck for her- but you have plenty of time to change this behavior because she is so young. Good luck, I'm sure she will be fine!
It sounds like your daughter is destined to be a lawyer and make her mommy proud.
Last night, girl really wanted to go to the park at the school behind our house. so when girl asked during dinner, it took me a minute to decide what to do. She of course began berating me about it, so I told her, ';Maybe we can go to the park after dinner. I'll think about it.'; It was shortly thereafter that I realized my daughter is a manipulative genius.
The dinner conversation after that,went from talk about the daily grind at work, to who was doing baths and who was doing dishes, to what the kids needed for day-care tomorrow. This week is recycleables week at day-care, so each day the kids need to bring in a different item to recycle by turning it into some art project. Today, they needed to bring in a newspaper. We don't generally read newspapers, so we didn't have any. Wife and I were discussing who/when we would go get a newspaper. Would I run to the store while wife gave the kids baths? Maybe wife would take the kids to the park, and while they were there, I could go get the paper?
There 4 year old girl began her silver-tongued control of the conversation. She started with misdirection. She started asking a million questions, initially rehashing what had already been discussed. ';Daddy, are you going to get the paper?'; ';When are you going?'; ';Miss Colleen has extra stuff so when kids forget, she has stuff for them.'; ';The other day, Marissa didn't have a milk jug, so Miss Colleen gave her one.'; Then, after a brief pause, when our minds were already reeling from the information overload, she blurted out, ';When Mommy takes us to the park, could you just go to the store and get a newspaper then?';
It's subtle, but notice how she took the ';maybe'; that I gave her in the beginning, and matter-of-factly turned it into a definite, when she said ';when';. She also ended the statement with a yes or no question. She was like a lawyer at trial, asking a presumably innocent question, but partnering it with an assumption that she was trying to make everyone else believe. If I had answered ';yes'; that I could do that, I would also have been answering ';yes'; to going to the park. Amazed, I carefully answered, ';We'll see.';
Unfazed, she smoothly, flawlessly shifted her offensive to wife, again relying heavily on the misdirection.
';Mommy took us to the park last time, right Mommy.';
';Uh-huh,'; Wife replied pushing around some food on her plate.
';Remember we played on the swings?';
';Yup,'; Wife replied not looking up from her plate.
';So can we do that again tonight?'
';Uh-huh.';
I was AMAZED. Girl had just pulled the old trick/joke:
';What do you put on your pillow?';
';Head.';
';What do you sleep on at night?';
';Bed.';
';What do you take out of a toaster?';
';Bread.';
';No, toast, silly!';
On hearing Wife's last ';uh-uh';, daughter lit up. She started babbling, all excited. Wife still wasn't quite listening. I called to her, ';woman鈥oman!'; to kind of snap her out of it. She did, and I had to explain to her that she just agreed to take the kids to the park. She quickly corrected daughter, and informed her that she had not realized what she had said.
This is what I think: Adults can get away with giving ambiguous answers like ';maybe'; then follow up with conversation as to what that maybe would be, gettingthe kid's hopes high (it's a 4 year old we are talking about) then turn around and blame the kid for assuming you would do what you said you MAY do. Which I think it's pretty cruel
Not only that, the mom did say yes and then wen't back on her word saying ';she wasn't paying attention'; if you crashed your car and you excuse was that ';you weren't paying attention'; how would that fly?
I think the kid did learn a lesson here and it was not to get her hopes high and not to trust adults.That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
Kids are good at manipulation. I also believe that when they hear 'maybe' they process it as 'yes'. I try not to give a maybe answer. I try to give a yes or a no, so that there's no arguments later.That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
You've got yourself a future litigator on your hands. Start saving up for Law school now.
Haha damn smart kid i think she got the best of ya ';mom'; don't feel bad i think its a good thing for a kid to show a bit of manipulation it will help him/her in the Future ya know when life stabs you in the back and you got to chest your way to the top. im only 16 life has not done that to me yet but i am expecting it to hehe
My daughter surprised me one day. She asked if we could get some treat or other when we went shopping. I said ';We'll see.'; She replied ';That always means no.'; Kids are smarter than we give them credit for being.
I have since explained to her that I don't always know if I can honour her requests. I don't want to say no, and disappoint her, and I don't want to say yes, and find out I can't, and then disappoint her, and also be branded as a liar. We'll see means exactly that.
I think your girl's parents need to listen when she is talking. The parents were at fault.
Also, buying a newspaper just so your child can take it for a craft project seems to defeat the purpose of recycling, don't ya think!
I did read the entire thing....I have dealt with kids just like that while babysitting, and all I can say is that you need to (kind of) break their spirit at times (not their spirit as in their happiness...just their willingness to manipulate. You need to nip it in the bud). For your daughter's sake, be more firm with her and remind her who the parent is, or it will become a life-long thing. You are here to mold her into an accepting person. She needs to be more accepting and less manipulative or life is going to suck for her- but you have plenty of time to change this behavior because she is so young. Good luck, I'm sure she will be fine!
It sounds like your daughter is destined to be a lawyer and make her mommy proud.
How do you think of this weird story I wrote?
The leader ducked his head behind the giant rock as the wild pig cantered by. His companions crouched behind him watching vehemently at their prey. When the pig got further away, the leader pointed at the pig with his crooked finger and muttered an order. 鈥楩ollow that pig and don鈥檛 let it notice us鈥? His companions nodded in response and rose up. They tiptoed in silence behind the bushes as they kept up with their prey. When they almost reached the beast, the pig suddenly sense the grating sounds of the dead leaves. It groaned and fastened its pace. The leader again gathered the hunters to his side and said, 鈥楽urround it from the front and when it turns back, dig your spears into its flesh.鈥?
The hunters began running toward the pig creating loud crunching sounds as they yelled to each other. The pig scrambled as it turned in all directions. But before it could go any further, the hunters were already in front of it blocking its way. It shrieked and leaped backward. The hunters who were blocking the back lunged forward and stuck their spears into the creature's furry flesh. The pig screamed miserably and tried to break away from an un-guarded corner but before it could, another spear ran through its neck. The pig collapse without another breath and died. Blood streamed out from the wounded parts sprinkling the ground with red. Blood stains on the hunters鈥?spears were also leaking onto their feet. The leader drew forward and examined the pig, assuring if the pig was completely dead. 鈥楴ow, let us go back,鈥?the leader said in a relief tongue of voice and ordered the men to tie the pig feet up with the ropes. After that, they carried the dead body back toward their village. Blood was spaying all over the forest paths during the way back until the pig body was completely drained. Children and women were gathering around the pig as the hunters lay them on a nearby stone when they got back. They were exhausted and fatigue after hunting such a large animal. Sweat soaked their entire body which forces them to have to wash themselves. Women were assembling the food while the men were hanging the pig on top of the fire. Children were dressed up in fashionable dark clothes dancing and chanting around the fields with raucous and bulky instruments banging against the stones creating neat tunes and rhythms. 鈥極oh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la鈥︹€?鈥?br>
Suggestions please???? I just wrote this story for fun because i'm so bored. I'm only a 14 years old baby so please be tolerant with my terrible organization.How do you think of this weird story I wrote?
If your only 14, then I would say your doing well for your age. To make this story better, the best thing I can suggest is to try and tell this same story with only half the words. Believe me, you can do it. This is the fastest way you can improve your grammar.
Have you ever looked at a professionally written book and just sat and examined the grammar and punctuation? I used to do that when I was a kid.
The hunters began running toward the pig creating loud crunching sounds as they yelled to each other. The pig scrambled as it turned in all directions. But before it could go any further, the hunters were already in front of it blocking its way. It shrieked and leaped backward. The hunters who were blocking the back lunged forward and stuck their spears into the creature's furry flesh. The pig screamed miserably and tried to break away from an un-guarded corner but before it could, another spear ran through its neck. The pig collapse without another breath and died. Blood streamed out from the wounded parts sprinkling the ground with red. Blood stains on the hunters鈥?spears were also leaking onto their feet. The leader drew forward and examined the pig, assuring if the pig was completely dead. 鈥楴ow, let us go back,鈥?the leader said in a relief tongue of voice and ordered the men to tie the pig feet up with the ropes. After that, they carried the dead body back toward their village. Blood was spaying all over the forest paths during the way back until the pig body was completely drained. Children and women were gathering around the pig as the hunters lay them on a nearby stone when they got back. They were exhausted and fatigue after hunting such a large animal. Sweat soaked their entire body which forces them to have to wash themselves. Women were assembling the food while the men were hanging the pig on top of the fire. Children were dressed up in fashionable dark clothes dancing and chanting around the fields with raucous and bulky instruments banging against the stones creating neat tunes and rhythms. 鈥極oh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la鈥︹€?鈥?br>
Suggestions please???? I just wrote this story for fun because i'm so bored. I'm only a 14 years old baby so please be tolerant with my terrible organization.How do you think of this weird story I wrote?
If your only 14, then I would say your doing well for your age. To make this story better, the best thing I can suggest is to try and tell this same story with only half the words. Believe me, you can do it. This is the fastest way you can improve your grammar.
Have you ever looked at a professionally written book and just sat and examined the grammar and punctuation? I used to do that when I was a kid.
Part 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
3. She tells me I’ve never tried talking to her over the past few days or that week… Here is how the conversation goes:
*Knock on door* *No reply* *Knock again* *Her mum answers*
Me: HEY Mel! Is Theresa home?
Her Mum: Theresa John’s home!
*Theresa on computer vigorously trying to close programs*? No need to explain what was being closed.
Her: HEY BABY!!!
ME: Hey baby! *Feeling sad, Frowning* Why didn’t you open the door for me?
Her: Uhhh *EVIL EYES!! AHH!* I was busy doing homework so don’t bother me! F/K! I’m sorry! Ill open the door for you next time gosh… if was such a big deal…
*I cut her off*
Me: *Giving her the WTF face tilting my head* I said why you couldn’t open the door… B*tch?! *hand signs* You don’t know me! Ima full tym gangsta! For shizzle…. now if that offended you… ummm word?
IM KIDDING! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! GOSH…. Read on ?
Me: *Giving her the WTF Face tilting my head* I said baby, why couldn’t you open the door? Now if that offended you… ummm you being serious?
Her: *DEMON POSSESED!* Can you just F/K OFF!?... Just LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!
Me: *Squinting my eyes* Right… I’ll be in the room if you need any help with homework.
Ok, there it is, a small conversation, but readers please understand that she wasn’t always like this. Week prior to this, she was so lovey-dovey so to speak. She would run to the door like a little fairy prancing around and open the door, jumping into my arms, holding me, kissing me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. Oh and just to make sure I get it out there, yes we were sexually active and I didn’t have a problem getting her to a climax, and no I don’t have a small d*ck and my tongue could get her to climax in a matter of minutes… Eww right? Just letting you know that it was problems in bed that lead to this “CHEATING”
4. Need I say more?... You probably would of stop reading by now zzzzZZZzZz! NO! FIGHT IT! READ ON SOLDIER! I NEED YOUR HELP! Honestly if you need more reasons just uhh I don’t know message me? Anyways!
I need help in pointing me in the right direction. But it F/ kills me to know the truth. I am rotting away. Feel so detached from life now. I feel so lifeless. It pains my heart and soul, everything to do with me aches. In a way I wanted to know all this information. Sorry, but please read this. PLEASE understand why I need you to. I need help. Ok I got to admit that I am the violent type of guy and don’t jump into conclusions! I DON’T HIT WOMEN! In fact! She is the abusive one believe it or not! I’m from a Pacific-Islander background so I was taught to respect women. Yes I know when growing up with sisters in the family they would get annoying and I would pinch them or smack them, but that’s ok… cause when dad got home… I was a dead man… and they had the last laugh. Ok anyways, like I was saying I get violent, buy only when my feelings are crushed and played with but other then that call me the peaceful giant. Back to the story, she says violence doesn’t solve anything. But what could she possibly know about how I’m feeling? The emotional struggle I have to face for the past few days. Honestly I want to smash the sh*t out of this person, this so called guy who changed everything. I’m out for blood. Violence solves things for me. I can’t stand around and do nothing about it. She tells me that everything will be ok, nothing to worry about. I love you so much and I was a fool, it was a mistake, I will never do it again. Then she promises me about 1342543654876 (YES I COUNTED! GOSH) different promises in convincing me to stay. Its ok for her, she can say that loud and proud. Her reward is getting me back and in return what do I get? More heart ache, more struggles to forgive. I’M OUT FOR BLOOD. But I find it so difficult to do nothing about it. This guy has tormented my life. His impact on my relationship is so devastating; it’s bringing my life to ruins. I can’t just sit around twiddle my thumbs and relax. But I have to force myself. It’s so hard. It’s so F/ hard. It literally brings me to tears. I can’t face the fact that it was a silly mistake, she tells me over and over and over and over *8 years later* and over and over and over! You get the picture, She says it was a mistake. But I know too much. I took people’s advice when I wanted to investigate; they told that I should just find out why she did it. The more I unearthed, the harder it became to bare. I just need help in trying to work things out with her. If you could send me an email or anything please to help, do so Contact? Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com or just search me up on www.Facebook.com with the Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com and add me.
I am desperately searching for help, from anyone. Now I am begging you to help me. I am not sure if taking her back was the right decision or should I just leave. I am completely, well... was completely in love with her and trying to overcome my problems and love her completely, please understand that its so hardPart 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
I lost you at the part
';She tells me I’ve never tried talking to her over the past few days or that week… Here is how the conversation goes:
*Knock on door* *No reply* *Knock again* *Her mum answers*
Me: HEY Mel! Is Theresa home?
Her Mum: Theresa John’s home!
*Theresa on computer vigorously trying to close programs*? No need to explain what was being closed.
Her: HEY BABY!!!
ME: Hey baby! *Feeling sad, Frowning* Why didn’t you open the door for me?
Her: Uhhh *EVIL EYES!! AHH!* I was busy doing homework so don’t bother me! F/K! I’m sorry! Ill open the door for you next time gosh… if was such a big deal…
*I cut her off*
Me: *Giving her the WTF face tilting my head* I said why you couldn’t open the door… B*tch?! *hand signs* You don’t know me! Ima full tym gangsta! For shizzle…. now if that offended you… ummm word?
IM KIDDING! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! GOSH…. Read on ?
Me: *Giving her the WTF Face tilting my head* I said baby, why couldn’t you open the door? Now if that offended you… ummm you being serious?
Her: *DEMON POSSESED!* Can you just F/K OFF!?... Just LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!
Me: *Squinting my eyes* Right… I’ll be in the room if you need any help with homework.
Ok, there it is, a small conversation, but readers please understand that she wasn’t always like this. Week prior to this, she was so lovey-dovey so to speak. She would run to the door like a little fairy prancing around and open the door, jumping into my arms, holding me, kissing me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. Oh and just to make sure I get it out there, yes we were sexually active and I didn’t have a problem getting her to a climax, and no I don’t have a small d*ck and my tongue could get her to climax in a matter of minutes… Eww right? Just letting you know that it was problems in bed that lead to this “CHEATING”
4. Need I say more?... You probably would of stop reading by now zzzzZZZzZz! NO! FIGHT IT! READ ON SOLDIER! I NEED YOUR HELP! Honestly if you need more reasons just uhh I don’t know message me? Anyways!
I need help in pointing me in the right direction. But it F/ kills me to know the truth. I am rotting away. Feel so detached from life now. I feel so lifeless. It pains my heart and soul, everything to do with me aches. In a way I wanted to know all this information. Sorry, but please read this. PLEASE understand why I need you to. I need help. Ok I got to admit that I am the violent type of guy and don’t jump into conclusions! I DON’T HIT WOMEN! In fact! She is the abusive one believe it or not! I’m from a Pacific-Islander background so I was taught to respect women. Yes I know when growing up with sisters in the family they would get annoying and I would pinch them or smack them, but that’s ok… cause when dad got home… I was a dead man… and they had the last laugh. Ok anyways, like I was saying I get violent, buy only when my feelings are crushed and played with but other then that call me the peaceful giant. Back to the story, she says violence doesn’t solve anything. But what could she possibly know about how I’m feeling? The emotional struggle I have to face for the past few days. Honestly I want to smash the sh*t out of this person, this so called guy who changed everything. I’m out for blood. Violence solves things for me. I can’t stand around and do nothing about it. She tells me that everything will be ok, nothing to worry about. I love you so much and I was a fool, it was a mistake, I will never do it again. Then she promises me about 1342543654876 (YES I COUNTED! GOSH) different promises in convincing me to stay. Its ok for her, she can say that loud and proud. Her reward is getting me back and in return what do I get? More heart ache, more struggles to forgive. I’M OUT FOR BLOOD. But I find it so difficult to do nothing about it. This guy has tormented my life. His impact on my relationship is so devastating; it’s bringing my life to ruins. I can’t just sit around twiddle my thumbs and relax. But I have to force myself. It’s so hard. It’s so F/ hard. It literally brings me to tears. I can’t face the fact that it was a silly mistake, she tells me over and over and over and over *8 years later* and over and over and over! You get the picture, She says it was a mistake. But I know too much. I took people’s advice when I wanted to investigate; they told that I should just find out why she did it. The more I unearthed, the harder it became to bare. I just need help in trying to work things out with her. If you could send me an email or anything please to help, do so Contact? Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com or just search me up on www.Facebook.com with the Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com and add me.
I am desperately searching for help, from anyone. Now I am begging you to help me. I am not sure if taking her back was the right decision or should I just leave. I am completely, well... was completely in love with her and trying to overcome my problems and love her completely, please unPart 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
Dump her.... I'm just sayin!
*Knock on door* *No reply* *Knock again* *Her mum answers*
Me: HEY Mel! Is Theresa home?
Her Mum: Theresa John’s home!
*Theresa on computer vigorously trying to close programs*? No need to explain what was being closed.
Her: HEY BABY!!!
ME: Hey baby! *Feeling sad, Frowning* Why didn’t you open the door for me?
Her: Uhhh *EVIL EYES!! AHH!* I was busy doing homework so don’t bother me! F/K! I’m sorry! Ill open the door for you next time gosh… if was such a big deal…
*I cut her off*
Me: *Giving her the WTF face tilting my head* I said why you couldn’t open the door… B*tch?! *hand signs* You don’t know me! Ima full tym gangsta! For shizzle…. now if that offended you… ummm word?
IM KIDDING! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! GOSH…. Read on ?
Me: *Giving her the WTF Face tilting my head* I said baby, why couldn’t you open the door? Now if that offended you… ummm you being serious?
Her: *DEMON POSSESED!* Can you just F/K OFF!?... Just LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!
Me: *Squinting my eyes* Right… I’ll be in the room if you need any help with homework.
Ok, there it is, a small conversation, but readers please understand that she wasn’t always like this. Week prior to this, she was so lovey-dovey so to speak. She would run to the door like a little fairy prancing around and open the door, jumping into my arms, holding me, kissing me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. Oh and just to make sure I get it out there, yes we were sexually active and I didn’t have a problem getting her to a climax, and no I don’t have a small d*ck and my tongue could get her to climax in a matter of minutes… Eww right? Just letting you know that it was problems in bed that lead to this “CHEATING”
4. Need I say more?... You probably would of stop reading by now zzzzZZZzZz! NO! FIGHT IT! READ ON SOLDIER! I NEED YOUR HELP! Honestly if you need more reasons just uhh I don’t know message me? Anyways!
I need help in pointing me in the right direction. But it F/ kills me to know the truth. I am rotting away. Feel so detached from life now. I feel so lifeless. It pains my heart and soul, everything to do with me aches. In a way I wanted to know all this information. Sorry, but please read this. PLEASE understand why I need you to. I need help. Ok I got to admit that I am the violent type of guy and don’t jump into conclusions! I DON’T HIT WOMEN! In fact! She is the abusive one believe it or not! I’m from a Pacific-Islander background so I was taught to respect women. Yes I know when growing up with sisters in the family they would get annoying and I would pinch them or smack them, but that’s ok… cause when dad got home… I was a dead man… and they had the last laugh. Ok anyways, like I was saying I get violent, buy only when my feelings are crushed and played with but other then that call me the peaceful giant. Back to the story, she says violence doesn’t solve anything. But what could she possibly know about how I’m feeling? The emotional struggle I have to face for the past few days. Honestly I want to smash the sh*t out of this person, this so called guy who changed everything. I’m out for blood. Violence solves things for me. I can’t stand around and do nothing about it. She tells me that everything will be ok, nothing to worry about. I love you so much and I was a fool, it was a mistake, I will never do it again. Then she promises me about 1342543654876 (YES I COUNTED! GOSH) different promises in convincing me to stay. Its ok for her, she can say that loud and proud. Her reward is getting me back and in return what do I get? More heart ache, more struggles to forgive. I’M OUT FOR BLOOD. But I find it so difficult to do nothing about it. This guy has tormented my life. His impact on my relationship is so devastating; it’s bringing my life to ruins. I can’t just sit around twiddle my thumbs and relax. But I have to force myself. It’s so hard. It’s so F/ hard. It literally brings me to tears. I can’t face the fact that it was a silly mistake, she tells me over and over and over and over *8 years later* and over and over and over! You get the picture, She says it was a mistake. But I know too much. I took people’s advice when I wanted to investigate; they told that I should just find out why she did it. The more I unearthed, the harder it became to bare. I just need help in trying to work things out with her. If you could send me an email or anything please to help, do so Contact? Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com or just search me up on www.Facebook.com with the Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com and add me.
I am desperately searching for help, from anyone. Now I am begging you to help me. I am not sure if taking her back was the right decision or should I just leave. I am completely, well... was completely in love with her and trying to overcome my problems and love her completely, please understand that its so hardPart 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
I lost you at the part
';She tells me I’ve never tried talking to her over the past few days or that week… Here is how the conversation goes:
*Knock on door* *No reply* *Knock again* *Her mum answers*
Me: HEY Mel! Is Theresa home?
Her Mum: Theresa John’s home!
*Theresa on computer vigorously trying to close programs*? No need to explain what was being closed.
Her: HEY BABY!!!
ME: Hey baby! *Feeling sad, Frowning* Why didn’t you open the door for me?
Her: Uhhh *EVIL EYES!! AHH!* I was busy doing homework so don’t bother me! F/K! I’m sorry! Ill open the door for you next time gosh… if was such a big deal…
*I cut her off*
Me: *Giving her the WTF face tilting my head* I said why you couldn’t open the door… B*tch?! *hand signs* You don’t know me! Ima full tym gangsta! For shizzle…. now if that offended you… ummm word?
IM KIDDING! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! GOSH…. Read on ?
Me: *Giving her the WTF Face tilting my head* I said baby, why couldn’t you open the door? Now if that offended you… ummm you being serious?
Her: *DEMON POSSESED!* Can you just F/K OFF!?... Just LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!
Me: *Squinting my eyes* Right… I’ll be in the room if you need any help with homework.
Ok, there it is, a small conversation, but readers please understand that she wasn’t always like this. Week prior to this, she was so lovey-dovey so to speak. She would run to the door like a little fairy prancing around and open the door, jumping into my arms, holding me, kissing me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. Oh and just to make sure I get it out there, yes we were sexually active and I didn’t have a problem getting her to a climax, and no I don’t have a small d*ck and my tongue could get her to climax in a matter of minutes… Eww right? Just letting you know that it was problems in bed that lead to this “CHEATING”
4. Need I say more?... You probably would of stop reading by now zzzzZZZzZz! NO! FIGHT IT! READ ON SOLDIER! I NEED YOUR HELP! Honestly if you need more reasons just uhh I don’t know message me? Anyways!
I need help in pointing me in the right direction. But it F/ kills me to know the truth. I am rotting away. Feel so detached from life now. I feel so lifeless. It pains my heart and soul, everything to do with me aches. In a way I wanted to know all this information. Sorry, but please read this. PLEASE understand why I need you to. I need help. Ok I got to admit that I am the violent type of guy and don’t jump into conclusions! I DON’T HIT WOMEN! In fact! She is the abusive one believe it or not! I’m from a Pacific-Islander background so I was taught to respect women. Yes I know when growing up with sisters in the family they would get annoying and I would pinch them or smack them, but that’s ok… cause when dad got home… I was a dead man… and they had the last laugh. Ok anyways, like I was saying I get violent, buy only when my feelings are crushed and played with but other then that call me the peaceful giant. Back to the story, she says violence doesn’t solve anything. But what could she possibly know about how I’m feeling? The emotional struggle I have to face for the past few days. Honestly I want to smash the sh*t out of this person, this so called guy who changed everything. I’m out for blood. Violence solves things for me. I can’t stand around and do nothing about it. She tells me that everything will be ok, nothing to worry about. I love you so much and I was a fool, it was a mistake, I will never do it again. Then she promises me about 1342543654876 (YES I COUNTED! GOSH) different promises in convincing me to stay. Its ok for her, she can say that loud and proud. Her reward is getting me back and in return what do I get? More heart ache, more struggles to forgive. I’M OUT FOR BLOOD. But I find it so difficult to do nothing about it. This guy has tormented my life. His impact on my relationship is so devastating; it’s bringing my life to ruins. I can’t just sit around twiddle my thumbs and relax. But I have to force myself. It’s so hard. It’s so F/ hard. It literally brings me to tears. I can’t face the fact that it was a silly mistake, she tells me over and over and over and over *8 years later* and over and over and over! You get the picture, She says it was a mistake. But I know too much. I took people’s advice when I wanted to investigate; they told that I should just find out why she did it. The more I unearthed, the harder it became to bare. I just need help in trying to work things out with her. If you could send me an email or anything please to help, do so Contact? Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com or just search me up on www.Facebook.com with the Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com and add me.
I am desperately searching for help, from anyone. Now I am begging you to help me. I am not sure if taking her back was the right decision or should I just leave. I am completely, well... was completely in love with her and trying to overcome my problems and love her completely, please unPart 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
Dump her.... I'm just sayin!
Sexy Therapy?
Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject turned to sex.
';You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems'; Linda told her friend.
That's amazing!'; Mary replied, ';So have Tom and I. We're thinking of going to a sex therapist'; said Linda.
';Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!'; responded Mary. ';But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?';
Several weeks passed and they met for lunch again. ';So, how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?';
';Things couldn't be better!';, Linda exclaimed. ';We began with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it's better than it's ever been!';
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist. After the physical exams were completed the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office. ';I'm afraid there is nothing I can do for you,'; he said.
But doctor,'; Mary complained, ';You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can't you give us some help? Any help at all?';
';Well, OK,'; the doctor answered ';On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios...';Sexy Therapy?
That was so funny! and maybe a good sexy therapy too, me and my Hubby will try that when he come home.Sexy Therapy?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hahahahahaha that's a good one!
Haaa. I love it!! Thanks.
That's cute :)
Great joke!
OH MY!!! too funny
good one......
LOL that's funny!!
Pretty good.....reminds me of the Doctor who says to his patient,';I'm sorry I can't help you with your problem of premature ejaculation, but I can put you in touch with a woman with a very short attention span.';
hahhahahha that was hillarious
That was funny! Hehehehe. :]
LOL
that's funny
He he thats funny and more sexiest guuess i was Lindas Husband where she put the donuts* in my penis and the grapes on her vergin* and then i get the grape frm my tongue*** off her virgin****
Sounds interesting ..................lol
Hmmmmmmmmm......I like that very much
lol OMG funny!
good one....bananas n pineapples.....
the therapy change with patient
ha ha hao lol!!!!!!! really funny
Ooouu!! Mercy! LOL. LOL.
';You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems'; Linda told her friend.
That's amazing!'; Mary replied, ';So have Tom and I. We're thinking of going to a sex therapist'; said Linda.
';Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!'; responded Mary. ';But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?';
Several weeks passed and they met for lunch again. ';So, how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?';
';Things couldn't be better!';, Linda exclaimed. ';We began with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it's better than it's ever been!';
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist. After the physical exams were completed the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office. ';I'm afraid there is nothing I can do for you,'; he said.
But doctor,'; Mary complained, ';You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can't you give us some help? Any help at all?';
';Well, OK,'; the doctor answered ';On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios...';Sexy Therapy?
That was so funny! and maybe a good sexy therapy too, me and my Hubby will try that when he come home.Sexy Therapy?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hahahahahaha that's a good one!
Haaa. I love it!! Thanks.
That's cute :)
Great joke!
OH MY!!! too funny
good one......
LOL that's funny!!
Pretty good.....reminds me of the Doctor who says to his patient,';I'm sorry I can't help you with your problem of premature ejaculation, but I can put you in touch with a woman with a very short attention span.';
hahhahahha that was hillarious
That was funny! Hehehehe. :]
LOL
that's funny
He he thats funny and more sexiest guuess i was Lindas Husband where she put the donuts* in my penis and the grapes on her vergin* and then i get the grape frm my tongue*** off her virgin****
Sounds interesting ..................lol
Hmmmmmmmmm......I like that very much
lol OMG funny!
good one....bananas n pineapples.....
the therapy change with patient
ha ha hao lol!!!!!!! really funny
Ooouu!! Mercy! LOL. LOL.
Do we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Asalaam alykum wa ramatollhi wa barakatuhu,
unlike a big sin like fornicating..gossiping takes no thought beforehand, it can just slip out of our mouthes without us thinking..it is so easy to do...Astaghfirullah
I post this so you are aware of how it wipes out ALL our good deeds in an instant - it's a bit long, but please read, very beneficial [and a reminder to some that we should stop talking badly (no matter what they've done) about our brothers and sisters in real life and on Y!A..a reminder directed 2 myself first before anyone else
--------------------------------------…
--------------------------------------…
Rasoolullah said, “A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hell-Fire further than the distance between the east and west” (narrated by Bukhari and Muslim).
In Islam, we are prohibited from gossiping about someone behind their back if it is something disliked to that person. You may ask, what if we are speaking the truth? If one is speaking the truth about someone behind their back, then this is backbiting and it is dispicable. If one is speaking falsehood about someone behind their back, then this is slander, something even worse.
Kab al-Ahbar said: “Backbiting nullifies a person’s good deeds.”
Not only is backbiting considered a sin in Islam, but it is considered a major sin by the consensus of scholars considering the implications mentioned about in the Quran and Sunnah. The Quranic verses dealing with backbiting include:
1.“O you who believe! Let not some men among you deride others who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is a bad name after faith.” (Surat Hujurat, 49:11)
2.“O you who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor that. And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful.” (Surat Hujurat, 49:12)
3.“Neither obey thou each feeble oath-monger; detractor, going about with slander.” (Surat Qalam, 68:10-11)
4.“Woe to every sneering defamer.” (Surat Humaza, 104:1)
Sneering can be considered defamation by actions (instead of words). Sneering can include actions as small as even rolling one’s eyes. Furthermore, Surat Humaza (The Transducer) is dedicated to answering those that gossip about others. Therefore, as Muslims, it is a duty incumbent upon us to safeguard our mouths from saying anything we would regret later on.
Muadh ibn Jabal (ra) asked Rasoolullah (SAW) to inform him of some good work that would admit him into
Paradise and distance him from the Hell-Fire. Rasoolullah (SAW) mentioned to him the virtues of many good deeds, then said: “Shall I inform you of the foundation of all of that?”
Muadh said: “Certainly.”
Rasoolullah (SAW) took hold of his own tongue and said: “Restrain yourself from this.”
Muadh then asked: “O Rasoolullah! Are we held to task for the things that we say?”
Rasoolullah (SAW) replied: “May your mother be bereaved of you, O Muadh! Does anything topple people headlong into the Hell-Fire save the harvests of their tongues?” (narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)
Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “One of the greatest of the major sins is to stretch out one’s tongue without right against the honor of a Muslim” (narrated by Abu Dawud).
Aisha (ra) relates that she said to Rasoolullah (SAW), “It should tell you enough about Safiyyah that she is short.”
To this Rasoolullah (SAW) replied, “You have said a word that if it was to be mixed with the water of the sea, it would contaminate it” (narrated by Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud).
The hadith above shows the seriousness of backbiting. The one sentence Aisha mentioned about Safiyyah was serious enough to contaminate something as large as the ocean. Therefore, we should consider how much we have contaminated our small ponds of good deeds versus the oceans of good deeds the Sahaba had obtained.
Two Companions once criticized a man who had been punished for committing adultery.
Rasoolullah (SAW) was traveling and he passed by the carcass of a donkey.
Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “Where are those two people? Get down and eat from the flesh of this donkey!”
They said, “O Rasoolullah, who would eat this?”
Rasoolullah (SAW) said: “What the two of you have recently done by defaming the honor of your brother is far worse than eating from this” (narrated by Abu Dawud).
The punishment for backbiting includes repaying those who we backbite.
Rasoolullah (SAW) asked the Sahaba, “Do you know who is bankrupt?”
They responded, “The person among us who is bankrupt is the one who possesses neither money nor provision.”
Rasoolullah (SAW) answered, “The one who is bankrupt from among my followers isDo we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Wa Alaikum Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
Yes gossip is horrible and something we should all avoid, yet it is so easy to fall into. Not only is it a sin but it is hurtful to those involved.
If you have time here is a short video(only 56 seconds) but shows what backbitting is like in a litteral sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RchDgZfu2…
The Arabic in the video is this ayah
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting) . And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. 49:12
Yeah Allah keep us away from such fitnah. Ameen
And Allah knows bestDo we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Jazak Allah Khair for sharing :) It was nice of you to share, and I hope that all the Muslims here take heed before they are sorry.
Take Care.
Jajakallah kahir sister,
I kw...... backbiting is Haram.
But, MasAllah, u explained a lot hereeeeeeee....
May Allah keep all of us away from all kinds of sin......
Allah Hafizzz
Kul Innal Fadla Be Yadillahi. Utihi Myasaw. Oallahu Oasiun Alimun Yaktacu Birahmatihi Myasaw Oallahu Jul Fadlil Azeem.
you must be a man, because men don't understand the value of gossip
unlike a big sin like fornicating..gossiping takes no thought beforehand, it can just slip out of our mouthes without us thinking..it is so easy to do...Astaghfirullah
I post this so you are aware of how it wipes out ALL our good deeds in an instant - it's a bit long, but please read, very beneficial [and a reminder to some that we should stop talking badly (no matter what they've done) about our brothers and sisters in real life and on Y!A..a reminder directed 2 myself first before anyone else
--------------------------------------…
--------------------------------------…
Rasoolullah said, “A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hell-Fire further than the distance between the east and west” (narrated by Bukhari and Muslim).
In Islam, we are prohibited from gossiping about someone behind their back if it is something disliked to that person. You may ask, what if we are speaking the truth? If one is speaking the truth about someone behind their back, then this is backbiting and it is dispicable. If one is speaking falsehood about someone behind their back, then this is slander, something even worse.
Kab al-Ahbar said: “Backbiting nullifies a person’s good deeds.”
Not only is backbiting considered a sin in Islam, but it is considered a major sin by the consensus of scholars considering the implications mentioned about in the Quran and Sunnah. The Quranic verses dealing with backbiting include:
1.“O you who believe! Let not some men among you deride others who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is a bad name after faith.” (Surat Hujurat, 49:11)
2.“O you who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor that. And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful.” (Surat Hujurat, 49:12)
3.“Neither obey thou each feeble oath-monger; detractor, going about with slander.” (Surat Qalam, 68:10-11)
4.“Woe to every sneering defamer.” (Surat Humaza, 104:1)
Sneering can be considered defamation by actions (instead of words). Sneering can include actions as small as even rolling one’s eyes. Furthermore, Surat Humaza (The Transducer) is dedicated to answering those that gossip about others. Therefore, as Muslims, it is a duty incumbent upon us to safeguard our mouths from saying anything we would regret later on.
Muadh ibn Jabal (ra) asked Rasoolullah (SAW) to inform him of some good work that would admit him into
Paradise and distance him from the Hell-Fire. Rasoolullah (SAW) mentioned to him the virtues of many good deeds, then said: “Shall I inform you of the foundation of all of that?”
Muadh said: “Certainly.”
Rasoolullah (SAW) took hold of his own tongue and said: “Restrain yourself from this.”
Muadh then asked: “O Rasoolullah! Are we held to task for the things that we say?”
Rasoolullah (SAW) replied: “May your mother be bereaved of you, O Muadh! Does anything topple people headlong into the Hell-Fire save the harvests of their tongues?” (narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)
Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “One of the greatest of the major sins is to stretch out one’s tongue without right against the honor of a Muslim” (narrated by Abu Dawud).
Aisha (ra) relates that she said to Rasoolullah (SAW), “It should tell you enough about Safiyyah that she is short.”
To this Rasoolullah (SAW) replied, “You have said a word that if it was to be mixed with the water of the sea, it would contaminate it” (narrated by Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud).
The hadith above shows the seriousness of backbiting. The one sentence Aisha mentioned about Safiyyah was serious enough to contaminate something as large as the ocean. Therefore, we should consider how much we have contaminated our small ponds of good deeds versus the oceans of good deeds the Sahaba had obtained.
Two Companions once criticized a man who had been punished for committing adultery.
Rasoolullah (SAW) was traveling and he passed by the carcass of a donkey.
Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “Where are those two people? Get down and eat from the flesh of this donkey!”
They said, “O Rasoolullah, who would eat this?”
Rasoolullah (SAW) said: “What the two of you have recently done by defaming the honor of your brother is far worse than eating from this” (narrated by Abu Dawud).
The punishment for backbiting includes repaying those who we backbite.
Rasoolullah (SAW) asked the Sahaba, “Do you know who is bankrupt?”
They responded, “The person among us who is bankrupt is the one who possesses neither money nor provision.”
Rasoolullah (SAW) answered, “The one who is bankrupt from among my followers isDo we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Wa Alaikum Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
Yes gossip is horrible and something we should all avoid, yet it is so easy to fall into. Not only is it a sin but it is hurtful to those involved.
If you have time here is a short video(only 56 seconds) but shows what backbitting is like in a litteral sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RchDgZfu2…
The Arabic in the video is this ayah
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting) . And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. 49:12
Yeah Allah keep us away from such fitnah. Ameen
And Allah knows bestDo we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Jazak Allah Khair for sharing :) It was nice of you to share, and I hope that all the Muslims here take heed before they are sorry.
Take Care.
Jajakallah kahir sister,
I kw...... backbiting is Haram.
But, MasAllah, u explained a lot hereeeeeeee....
May Allah keep all of us away from all kinds of sin......
Allah Hafizzz
Kul Innal Fadla Be Yadillahi. Utihi Myasaw. Oallahu Oasiun Alimun Yaktacu Birahmatihi Myasaw Oallahu Jul Fadlil Azeem.
you must be a man, because men don't understand the value of gossip
So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
Qur'an is Allah's words revealed to Muhammad through angel Jibril. This is what Qur'an claims.
So that's the proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an.
But since you don't yet believe it, let's have this analyzed.
1. Muhammad was illiterate.
He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an.
If you do so, it's like accusing your father gave birth to a child. Impossible.
2. Muhammad never claimed so.
He never claimed that Qur'an is his words. He said those are Allah's words.
So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.
If you do so, it's like accusing Barrack Obama as a muslim, despite his clear denial.
3. Muhammad recited the Qur'an for 22 years.
Whenever new verses are revealed, he immediately memorized them and instructed the companions either to memorize or write down. Since he recited it, there is no 'editorial process', which means whatever being said cannot be taken back. Imagine the level of consistency that he had to maintain. With over 600+ pages of verses over such long period, any mistake will be pointed out immediately by non-believers who are always denying him.
4. He didn't get any help.
Since he was the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him. No-one was around him for the whole 22 years to assist him. Qur'an is in perfect Arabic language, so whoever taught him must be of Arabic mother-tongue with excellent knowledge in everything. So no proof of him getting outside help. Furthermore, nobody raised hand and claim the verse are theirs.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
Bible in arabic is non-existent at that time. In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A. In fact the content of Qur'an is obvious opposite with Bible, such as Jesus as God. Many scientific mistakes in the Bible were not copied over, such as World's creation, Noah Ark, World is Flat etc. If he copied over, how did he know which one is wrong and not to copy?
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.
In fact, whenever someone reads and recite Qur'an, always start with ';I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed';. A verse in Qur'an:
“Verily, Satan is an enemy to you, so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents, that they may become companions of the Blazing Fire.” (35: 6)
7. He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
In fact, there were several attempts to kill him. When he died, he only had a small house with almost nothing valuable inside, despite being the leader of the country. Clearly worldly benefits are not his objectives.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
I know there are kids who will curse here, so kids, please behave. I didn't curse your religion / god, whether it is Jesus Christ, YWYH, Buddha, YMCA, Money or Alcohol.So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
The day-to-day life of the Prophet was an open book for all to see. In fact a revelation came asking people to give the Prophet (pbuh) privacy in his own home. If the Prophet had been meeting people who told him what to say as a revelation from God, this would not have been hidden for very long.
The extremely prominent Quraish nobles who followed the Prophet and accepted Islam were wise and intelligent men who would have easily noticed anything suspicious about the way in which the Prophet brought the revelations to them - more so since the Prophetic mission lasted 23 years.
The enemies of the Prophet kept a close watch on him in order to find proof for their claim that he was a liar - they could not point out even a single instance when the Prophet may have had a secret rendezvous with particular Jews and Christians.
It is inconceivable that any human author of the Qur’an would have accepted a situation in which he received no credit whatsoever for originating the Qur’an.
Thus, historically and logically it cannot be established that there was a human source for the Qur’an.
Is it not true that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has copied the Qur’an from the Bible?
http://www.ilovezakirnaik.com/misconcept…So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
They still point it out today..and still you wont listen.
Do you have any evidence for any of these claims?
Do you know what evidence is?
Every muslim will clearly tell you:
A) Muhammad was illiterate and got other dudes to write the Quran.
B) That Gabriel did recite all of the Quran to Muhammad.
C) And finally that regardless how many people it has been through, its still somehow magically accurate.
Muslims don't argue that Muhammad didn't write the Quran.
thanks for sharing. i thought i had read the same articles as you did.
with love and grace to Allah
I know he didn't it was written long after he died
salam, brother.
any sensible person would believe in allah if he read this....
but these people are not....so wont even try to understand...
I'll just tell you this, if it's in ';perfect Arabic'; why are there several different interpretations? It seems that Arabs have some difficulty understanding these words.
And yes, it contains plenty of reworked stories from the bible and the Jewish Apocrypha. And some of those were fables, which the Koran dutifully copied.
um, evidence?
Excuse me please, Has anybody here said Prophet Mohommed himself wrote Koran ? There is some one here who says so and argues too that he did not. He is said to be an ignorant moron who could not write anything.
Lol! We are all aware Muhamamd was dead when the Quran was put together..so obviously he did not physically pen the Quran...that doesnt prove the Quran is not his words...then again what does it matter who penned the Quran? The Quran disagrees with the word of God.
No dear, I don't have that much interest in bronze age middle eastern goat or camel herders fairy tales.
OK, so what is it that you're trying to say?
1. Muhammad was illiterate.
2.He never claimed that Qur'an was his words.
3. Muhammad recited the Qur'an for 22 years.
OK, thus far. So, where's the dispute?
4. He didn't get any help.
You might want to do some research before you say this. He had scribes write it for him. Please Google ';Abdullah ibn Sa`d Ibn Abi Sarh'; who was one of Mohammad's scribes [meaning he had more, by the way] who attained a bit of fame which is going to affect the rest of your claims, now.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
There's a difference between copying and plagiarizing that you might want to look up.
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about Satan, nothing good.
So, what's the big deal? I even has a ridiculous story about Allah making Adam 90 feet tall and telling the Angels to bow before him and that Satan got banished for not bowing to him. Then, it says that Satan got Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, where Adam didn't recognize the guy he got banished?
You really shouldn't have gone there.
7. He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
Huh?
';....to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.';?!?!
Are you sure you know what you are saying?
Anyways, the very first premise is itself wrong because the share of his booty was quite a lot and is detailed in the Sahih Bukhari, the Sahih Muslim, the Kitaab al Thimidhi and the Kitaab wal sijaasa.
So, what are you trying to say here?
OK, the hadiths also say that all the people there used to go to an open field to pee and crap, which just means that they didn't know how to build a toilet, but nothing much else.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
You might want to go back to your English Language classes, too, among other things.
Anyways, the Koran is made up of the concoctions of Mohammad, written for him by his scribes, of which he approved 7 versions, four of which were preferred - the Qalun, the Warsh, the Hafs and the al Dhuri; each with two different renditions [riyaatein] and was later edited by the Caliph Uthman after his death.
So, where is your Unique, Unedited and in one language Koran?
In your dreams.
Because the versions are for the dialects of Arabic, primarily. And the riyaatein are to account for the differences of individual idiom. so, out goes your claim of one language.
Caliph Uthman edited the Koran and burned all the other copies he could. So, out goes your claim of Unchanged and Unique.
So, what else is left?
Oh, by the way, I'm an Adult.
the facts are
A) Muhammad was illiterate and got other dudes to write the Quran.
B) That Gabriel did recite all of the Quran to Muhammad.
C) The quran contains all the lies ,hatred and fictional stories just like the bible..
http://www.thedeenshow.com/show.php?acti…
Yes, I know all of this but it is not proof of the existence of god. Clearly they are the words of Muhammad.
';He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an.';
The Qur'an was an oral tradition for the first hundred years before it was written down. That does not prove Mohammad didn't come up with it off the top of his head, all it proves is that he didn't actually write it down on a piece of paper. Whoop-de-doo, you've proved diddly.
';So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.';
So if a killer says he never killed anyone, you can't accuse him of doing so? Sorry, that argument makes no sense at all.
';Imagine the level of consistency that he had to maintain.';
Look up ';abrogation';. I dare you.
';Since he was the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him.';
Sorry, but that argument doesn't even work on the most basic level. Unless you're claiming that he was all alone for the entire time, never talking to anyone else (which would be a lie), your argument simply falls apart.
';In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A.';
Once again, unless you're claiming that he was all alone (and we know he wasn't, and we also know he hung out with a lot of Jews at the beginning of his prophetic ';career';), your argument doesn't work.
';The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.';
So? Where is this ';satan';? Who is this ';satan';?
What exactly are you trying to prove here?
';He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.';
Of course, he got plenty of all of the above by ';teaching'; Islam, so he didn't really need it.
';So who's words the Qur'an is?';
That would be Mohammad's. At least, you have done nothing to demonstrate that that isn't the case.
Muhammad received the bits and pieces of the puzzle (several verses of the AlQuran), one at a time over 22 years and put these verses in the designated place as soon as he received it (and never to juggle/sifted or move around) to form the final Quran as we find today.Subhanallah.
In short,he did wonders no man had done. No wonder his followers are growing inspite of the cruelty, lies and slanders the Muslims are facing.
So that's the proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an.
But since you don't yet believe it, let's have this analyzed.
1. Muhammad was illiterate.
He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an.
If you do so, it's like accusing your father gave birth to a child. Impossible.
2. Muhammad never claimed so.
He never claimed that Qur'an is his words. He said those are Allah's words.
So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.
If you do so, it's like accusing Barrack Obama as a muslim, despite his clear denial.
3. Muhammad recited the Qur'an for 22 years.
Whenever new verses are revealed, he immediately memorized them and instructed the companions either to memorize or write down. Since he recited it, there is no 'editorial process', which means whatever being said cannot be taken back. Imagine the level of consistency that he had to maintain. With over 600+ pages of verses over such long period, any mistake will be pointed out immediately by non-believers who are always denying him.
4. He didn't get any help.
Since he was the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him. No-one was around him for the whole 22 years to assist him. Qur'an is in perfect Arabic language, so whoever taught him must be of Arabic mother-tongue with excellent knowledge in everything. So no proof of him getting outside help. Furthermore, nobody raised hand and claim the verse are theirs.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
Bible in arabic is non-existent at that time. In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A. In fact the content of Qur'an is obvious opposite with Bible, such as Jesus as God. Many scientific mistakes in the Bible were not copied over, such as World's creation, Noah Ark, World is Flat etc. If he copied over, how did he know which one is wrong and not to copy?
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.
In fact, whenever someone reads and recite Qur'an, always start with ';I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed';. A verse in Qur'an:
“Verily, Satan is an enemy to you, so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents, that they may become companions of the Blazing Fire.” (35: 6)
7. He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
In fact, there were several attempts to kill him. When he died, he only had a small house with almost nothing valuable inside, despite being the leader of the country. Clearly worldly benefits are not his objectives.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
I know there are kids who will curse here, so kids, please behave. I didn't curse your religion / god, whether it is Jesus Christ, YWYH, Buddha, YMCA, Money or Alcohol.So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
The day-to-day life of the Prophet was an open book for all to see. In fact a revelation came asking people to give the Prophet (pbuh) privacy in his own home. If the Prophet had been meeting people who told him what to say as a revelation from God, this would not have been hidden for very long.
The extremely prominent Quraish nobles who followed the Prophet and accepted Islam were wise and intelligent men who would have easily noticed anything suspicious about the way in which the Prophet brought the revelations to them - more so since the Prophetic mission lasted 23 years.
The enemies of the Prophet kept a close watch on him in order to find proof for their claim that he was a liar - they could not point out even a single instance when the Prophet may have had a secret rendezvous with particular Jews and Christians.
It is inconceivable that any human author of the Qur’an would have accepted a situation in which he received no credit whatsoever for originating the Qur’an.
Thus, historically and logically it cannot be established that there was a human source for the Qur’an.
Is it not true that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has copied the Qur’an from the Bible?
http://www.ilovezakirnaik.com/misconcept…So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
They still point it out today..and still you wont listen.
Report Abuse
Do you have any evidence for any of these claims?
Do you know what evidence is?
Every muslim will clearly tell you:
A) Muhammad was illiterate and got other dudes to write the Quran.
B) That Gabriel did recite all of the Quran to Muhammad.
C) And finally that regardless how many people it has been through, its still somehow magically accurate.
Muslims don't argue that Muhammad didn't write the Quran.
thanks for sharing. i thought i had read the same articles as you did.
with love and grace to Allah
I know he didn't it was written long after he died
salam, brother.
any sensible person would believe in allah if he read this....
but these people are not....so wont even try to understand...
I'll just tell you this, if it's in ';perfect Arabic'; why are there several different interpretations? It seems that Arabs have some difficulty understanding these words.
And yes, it contains plenty of reworked stories from the bible and the Jewish Apocrypha. And some of those were fables, which the Koran dutifully copied.
um, evidence?
Excuse me please, Has anybody here said Prophet Mohommed himself wrote Koran ? There is some one here who says so and argues too that he did not. He is said to be an ignorant moron who could not write anything.
Lol! We are all aware Muhamamd was dead when the Quran was put together..so obviously he did not physically pen the Quran...that doesnt prove the Quran is not his words...then again what does it matter who penned the Quran? The Quran disagrees with the word of God.
No dear, I don't have that much interest in bronze age middle eastern goat or camel herders fairy tales.
OK, so what is it that you're trying to say?
1. Muhammad was illiterate.
2.He never claimed that Qur'an was his words.
3. Muhammad recited the Qur'an for 22 years.
OK, thus far. So, where's the dispute?
4. He didn't get any help.
You might want to do some research before you say this. He had scribes write it for him. Please Google ';Abdullah ibn Sa`d Ibn Abi Sarh'; who was one of Mohammad's scribes [meaning he had more, by the way] who attained a bit of fame which is going to affect the rest of your claims, now.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
There's a difference between copying and plagiarizing that you might want to look up.
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about Satan, nothing good.
So, what's the big deal? I even has a ridiculous story about Allah making Adam 90 feet tall and telling the Angels to bow before him and that Satan got banished for not bowing to him. Then, it says that Satan got Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, where Adam didn't recognize the guy he got banished?
You really shouldn't have gone there.
7. He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
Huh?
';....to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.';?!?!
Are you sure you know what you are saying?
Anyways, the very first premise is itself wrong because the share of his booty was quite a lot and is detailed in the Sahih Bukhari, the Sahih Muslim, the Kitaab al Thimidhi and the Kitaab wal sijaasa.
So, what are you trying to say here?
OK, the hadiths also say that all the people there used to go to an open field to pee and crap, which just means that they didn't know how to build a toilet, but nothing much else.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
You might want to go back to your English Language classes, too, among other things.
Anyways, the Koran is made up of the concoctions of Mohammad, written for him by his scribes, of which he approved 7 versions, four of which were preferred - the Qalun, the Warsh, the Hafs and the al Dhuri; each with two different renditions [riyaatein] and was later edited by the Caliph Uthman after his death.
So, where is your Unique, Unedited and in one language Koran?
In your dreams.
Because the versions are for the dialects of Arabic, primarily. And the riyaatein are to account for the differences of individual idiom. so, out goes your claim of one language.
Caliph Uthman edited the Koran and burned all the other copies he could. So, out goes your claim of Unchanged and Unique.
So, what else is left?
Oh, by the way, I'm an Adult.
the facts are
A) Muhammad was illiterate and got other dudes to write the Quran.
B) That Gabriel did recite all of the Quran to Muhammad.
C) The quran contains all the lies ,hatred and fictional stories just like the bible..
http://www.thedeenshow.com/show.php?acti…
Yes, I know all of this but it is not proof of the existence of god. Clearly they are the words of Muhammad.
';He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an.';
The Qur'an was an oral tradition for the first hundred years before it was written down. That does not prove Mohammad didn't come up with it off the top of his head, all it proves is that he didn't actually write it down on a piece of paper. Whoop-de-doo, you've proved diddly.
';So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.';
So if a killer says he never killed anyone, you can't accuse him of doing so? Sorry, that argument makes no sense at all.
';Imagine the level of consistency that he had to maintain.';
Look up ';abrogation';. I dare you.
';Since he was the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him.';
Sorry, but that argument doesn't even work on the most basic level. Unless you're claiming that he was all alone for the entire time, never talking to anyone else (which would be a lie), your argument simply falls apart.
';In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A.';
Once again, unless you're claiming that he was all alone (and we know he wasn't, and we also know he hung out with a lot of Jews at the beginning of his prophetic ';career';), your argument doesn't work.
';The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.';
So? Where is this ';satan';? Who is this ';satan';?
What exactly are you trying to prove here?
';He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.';
Of course, he got plenty of all of the above by ';teaching'; Islam, so he didn't really need it.
';So who's words the Qur'an is?';
That would be Mohammad's. At least, you have done nothing to demonstrate that that isn't the case.
Muhammad received the bits and pieces of the puzzle (several verses of the AlQuran), one at a time over 22 years and put these verses in the designated place as soon as he received it (and never to juggle/sifted or move around) to form the final Quran as we find today.Subhanallah.
In short,he did wonders no man had done. No wonder his followers are growing inspite of the cruelty, lies and slanders the Muslims are facing.
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