1) When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, officer, there's
no blood in my alcohol?';
2) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to
race.
3) When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4) If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my
speedometer doesn't go that high.
5) Touch him.
6) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a
hat.
7) Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
8) Refer to him by his first name.
9) Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
10) When he says no, cry.
11) If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
12) If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a
nice way.
13) If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw
yourself on the hood.
14) When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that
way.
15) When he puts handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me
dinner first';
16) Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink
on your fingers.
17) After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops!
That's the wrong name.';
18) Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I
just ate the last one.
19) When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration,
please'; right when he says it.
20) When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I
can't hear you!';
21) Trip and fall into him.
22) Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
23) Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to use
his pen.
24) Chew on the pen, nervously.
25) Clean your ear with the pen.
26) If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
27) Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought your
name sounded familiar....
28) Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask
him how the plumbing was.
29) Act like you are retarded.
30) When he is telling you what you did wrong, start repeating
him, quietly.
31) Or mumble to yourself.
32) When he tells you to stop, say what are you talking about,
DUDE?
33) Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here
tonite......
34) Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
35) When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like
yours!
36) Ask if he watches Cops.
37) Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
38) Giggle if he did.
39) Talk to your hand.
40) Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and he Five Favorite
Friends.
41) Accuse him of sexual harassment if he does.
42) When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
43) When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in
my car, the last cop got it.
44) Try to sell him your car.
45) Ask if you can buy his car.
46) If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in the front.
47) Play with the siren.
48) If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
49) If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for
dinner.
50) Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
51) Ask if he ever had pu-tang.
52) If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
53) If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in
tongues.
54) When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
55) When you are in the back, touch his neck through the
fencing.
56) Turn your head and whistle.
57) When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do
with that.
58) If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
59) If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the
corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
60) Ask if you can see his gun.
61) When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to
see if mine was bigger.
62) Stare at the lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
63) Tell him you like men in uniform.
64) Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.64 ways to get a cop to kill you?
Being hispanic or black is also another.64 ways to get a cop to kill you?
Good
Ok they are alright but I really Can't be bothered to read them all
Friday, November 12, 2010
My girlfriend is less than ';intellectual';, what do you guys think?
Me and my lady-friend have been talking for a little over four to five months now, but lately I've been noticing more and more that she doesn't quite enjoy things some might consider, ';intellectual'; or ';artsy.';
I don't consider myself to be any smarter than your average guy, but I'd like to think that some things in this world require a bit more thought than others; she, on the other hand, doesn't seem to see this fact my way.
I should have noticed this earlier when I asked her about her opinion on the modern world and how Nihilist ideals are becoming ever more present and acceptable in society, but instead, I just considered her to be involved or concerned with something else at the time, as she barely added anything to the conversation at all. We talk about your average, day-to-day stuff most of the time, so I'm not just sitting up here boring her to tears, but that was the first and really the only time I wanted her to stimulate or challenge me.
Recently, to my embarrassment, I wrote her a poem. It took me a while to write, and I'm proud to say I put quite a lot of thought in it, but upon reading it she didn't even bother to mention it to me the next time she saw me.
Now, I'm no egomaniac, and to be completely honest, I think it was a crap piece of work anyway, but I did spend a lot of time on it, and I was at least expecting a, ';thank you'; or even an, ';I hated it; get away from me.'; Instead, all I got was silence, which to me, is worse than any insult or criticism you could throw at me.
Now, at this point, I could have stayed quiet. I could have ignored her reaction. But instead, I called her out on it, because, as much as I'd hate to admit it, I was hurt. Her reaction?
';I thought by now you'd understand that I don't care for comments of that nature.';
I don't know why she reacted the way she did. Don't most women actually enjoy being the subject of a poem or song? I can't recall calling her a whore or a hinting at anything violently sexual in my poem, so what's her problem?
I consider her reaction to be strange and atypical of most women, would you agree?
Back to the story, I kept my tongue upon hearing those words, but it didn't make it any easier to hear. I walked it off, and now it appears we've actually sparked a bit of conflict in our short relationship for the first time. Which, to me, is funny in its own way.
I'm saying all of this on Yahoo.com, because I don't want to talk to her the same way you readers have read it: displaying all of my emotions, appearing like some effeminate crybaby who's all wound up. I'd rather have a group of strangers offer their opinions than go to straight to her and ruin something pleasant on something that, to her, might be extremely insignificant.
So please, leave a comment, and tell me what you think. Am I overreacting? Is she cold? Am I embarrassing her? Is she insecure? Is she just plain stupid? (Lol, at that last one)
I'd like to see what you (hopefully) kind folks have to say.
Thanks in advance.My girlfriend is less than ';intellectual';, what do you guys think?
What was the poem about? Like... by ';nature'; does she mean the ';big words'; you used or she doesn't like people telling her how fond of her they are? Either way... I don't get her. I don't like her. She seems very out of touch with your feelings and the way you think in general. Very selfish, in my opinion. I'm not into the whole ';write me poems, buy me flowers'; type thing either, but early on in a relationship it is very nice to get signs that the other person really is in it to win it. You are clearly trying to show her that she means a lot to you and she just doesn't seem to get it or care. I'd leave her.My girlfriend is less than ';intellectual';, what do you guys think?
too long make it shorter
You are a guy in a short term relationship, therefore you are only allowed one problem before you end it.
Don't you mean: ';My lady-friend and I';?
You're welcome,
~The Unquestioner!
I joined a group where these discussions take place. weigh your options, believe me I understand.
Are you sure you guys are really right for each other?
The strangest thing that stood out was the poem thing... if a guy wrote me a poem.. and no offence meant by this next bit.. but even if it was the CHESSIEST poem in the world id still be flattered by it (and im not really a fan of poems) but the fact they someone took time out to do that for me would seem quite sweet... she could have at least pretended to like it but to ignore it and then sound offended by it does sound a little bit odd....
The way I see things is if you are with someone who you feel you cant even try to bring up issues like these or if you feel like youre being judged as something youre not then id wonder if it really is right...
Are there any plus sides, like is there anything you really do agree on or have really good fun with etc.. or is it all confusion and finding it hard to find a common ground?
I know ive not helped a load but hopefully given some advice to think about lol :) good luck!
So she's dumb you don't have to tell us a story just ask yourself is she really worth your time? Do you really think you can be with her? It seems to me like you are having a tough time communicating with her and she's not your type well just hit it and quit she sounds as if she's ones of those girls
u have too much going on move on n find someone on ur level
I don't consider myself to be any smarter than your average guy, but I'd like to think that some things in this world require a bit more thought than others; she, on the other hand, doesn't seem to see this fact my way.
I should have noticed this earlier when I asked her about her opinion on the modern world and how Nihilist ideals are becoming ever more present and acceptable in society, but instead, I just considered her to be involved or concerned with something else at the time, as she barely added anything to the conversation at all. We talk about your average, day-to-day stuff most of the time, so I'm not just sitting up here boring her to tears, but that was the first and really the only time I wanted her to stimulate or challenge me.
Recently, to my embarrassment, I wrote her a poem. It took me a while to write, and I'm proud to say I put quite a lot of thought in it, but upon reading it she didn't even bother to mention it to me the next time she saw me.
Now, I'm no egomaniac, and to be completely honest, I think it was a crap piece of work anyway, but I did spend a lot of time on it, and I was at least expecting a, ';thank you'; or even an, ';I hated it; get away from me.'; Instead, all I got was silence, which to me, is worse than any insult or criticism you could throw at me.
Now, at this point, I could have stayed quiet. I could have ignored her reaction. But instead, I called her out on it, because, as much as I'd hate to admit it, I was hurt. Her reaction?
';I thought by now you'd understand that I don't care for comments of that nature.';
I don't know why she reacted the way she did. Don't most women actually enjoy being the subject of a poem or song? I can't recall calling her a whore or a hinting at anything violently sexual in my poem, so what's her problem?
I consider her reaction to be strange and atypical of most women, would you agree?
Back to the story, I kept my tongue upon hearing those words, but it didn't make it any easier to hear. I walked it off, and now it appears we've actually sparked a bit of conflict in our short relationship for the first time. Which, to me, is funny in its own way.
I'm saying all of this on Yahoo.com, because I don't want to talk to her the same way you readers have read it: displaying all of my emotions, appearing like some effeminate crybaby who's all wound up. I'd rather have a group of strangers offer their opinions than go to straight to her and ruin something pleasant on something that, to her, might be extremely insignificant.
So please, leave a comment, and tell me what you think. Am I overreacting? Is she cold? Am I embarrassing her? Is she insecure? Is she just plain stupid? (Lol, at that last one)
I'd like to see what you (hopefully) kind folks have to say.
Thanks in advance.My girlfriend is less than ';intellectual';, what do you guys think?
What was the poem about? Like... by ';nature'; does she mean the ';big words'; you used or she doesn't like people telling her how fond of her they are? Either way... I don't get her. I don't like her. She seems very out of touch with your feelings and the way you think in general. Very selfish, in my opinion. I'm not into the whole ';write me poems, buy me flowers'; type thing either, but early on in a relationship it is very nice to get signs that the other person really is in it to win it. You are clearly trying to show her that she means a lot to you and she just doesn't seem to get it or care. I'd leave her.My girlfriend is less than ';intellectual';, what do you guys think?
too long make it shorter
You are a guy in a short term relationship, therefore you are only allowed one problem before you end it.
Don't you mean: ';My lady-friend and I';?
You're welcome,
~The Unquestioner!
I joined a group where these discussions take place. weigh your options, believe me I understand.
Are you sure you guys are really right for each other?
The strangest thing that stood out was the poem thing... if a guy wrote me a poem.. and no offence meant by this next bit.. but even if it was the CHESSIEST poem in the world id still be flattered by it (and im not really a fan of poems) but the fact they someone took time out to do that for me would seem quite sweet... she could have at least pretended to like it but to ignore it and then sound offended by it does sound a little bit odd....
The way I see things is if you are with someone who you feel you cant even try to bring up issues like these or if you feel like youre being judged as something youre not then id wonder if it really is right...
Are there any plus sides, like is there anything you really do agree on or have really good fun with etc.. or is it all confusion and finding it hard to find a common ground?
I know ive not helped a load but hopefully given some advice to think about lol :) good luck!
So she's dumb you don't have to tell us a story just ask yourself is she really worth your time? Do you really think you can be with her? It seems to me like you are having a tough time communicating with her and she's not your type well just hit it and quit she sounds as if she's ones of those girls
u have too much going on move on n find someone on ur level
63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
1. When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?';
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
those are some funny was to piss off a cop.. I am going to use some off those next time I get pulled over..
Thanks for the laughs63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
Your question is............ I think... 63 ways to see if the cop who is going to arrest you will laugh off you not being banged up for the night.
heehee, those are really funny!
piss him off. you just made his shift.
that was so good!
i hate when people say ur question is... its a dumb thing to say if u dont wanna read jokes and wanna answer questions go to like polictics section lmao
my favorite is ask to buy his car
Stand on their shoulders and aim. But make sure you don't get arrested for bleach of the police.
hehehe, funny
OMG whata friggen awesome list!
BAHAHAHAHAHA THATS HILARIOUS!!!!!!=D I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPEN IF SUM1 REALLY DID THAT LOL =DDDDDDD
you just made my night thanks!!!
im going to try that if i get a ticket for driving fast
wow! 63 Ways To End Up In The Slammer! :P
kb
Brilliant ones again Martin.!!!
10/10 for a good laugh.!!!
Must try to remember some, lol.!!!
Cheers man.!!!
funniest thing ive seen all night!
hahahahaha
nice ones
number 64 ask him when his mum and dad are getting married so you can send them a wedding card (think about it)
ha ha ha funny
ill try that next time i get pulled over
This is fantastic, it reminds me when i got arrested,(uk), when they read me my rites and said ';anything you say will be used in a court of law against you'; i replied,,'; I was on a mission from God'; ,,,they re-arrested me for the same offence, and said the same thing ,but this time i replied , '; ooh-ah-ooh-whaawh, officers please stop hitting me'; they all laughed but did not write it down(funnily enough), This is true...
On and on and ariston! :D
63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
1. When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?';
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
those are some funny was to piss off a cop.. I am going to use some off those next time I get pulled over..
Thanks for the laughs63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
Your question is............ I think... 63 ways to see if the cop who is going to arrest you will laugh off you not being banged up for the night.
heehee, those are really funny!
piss him off. you just made his shift.
that was so good!
i hate when people say ur question is... its a dumb thing to say if u dont wanna read jokes and wanna answer questions go to like polictics section lmao
my favorite is ask to buy his car
Stand on their shoulders and aim. But make sure you don't get arrested for bleach of the police.
hehehe, funny
OMG whata friggen awesome list!
BAHAHAHAHAHA THATS HILARIOUS!!!!!!=D I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPEN IF SUM1 REALLY DID THAT LOL =DDDDDDD
you just made my night thanks!!!
im going to try that if i get a ticket for driving fast
wow! 63 Ways To End Up In The Slammer! :P
kb
Brilliant ones again Martin.!!!
10/10 for a good laugh.!!!
Must try to remember some, lol.!!!
Cheers man.!!!
funniest thing ive seen all night!
hahahahaha
nice ones
number 64 ask him when his mum and dad are getting married so you can send them a wedding card (think about it)
ha ha ha funny
ill try that next time i get pulled over
This is fantastic, it reminds me when i got arrested,(uk), when they read me my rites and said ';anything you say will be used in a court of law against you'; i replied,,'; I was on a mission from God'; ,,,they re-arrested me for the same offence, and said the same thing ,but this time i replied , '; ooh-ah-ooh-whaawh, officers please stop hitting me'; they all laughed but did not write it down(funnily enough), This is true...
On and on and ariston! :D
Thursday, October 28, 2010
63 ways to p*ss of a cop?
1. When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?';
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 ways to p*ss of a cop?
Wow those are excellent. Thanks for sharing. Have a star.63 ways to p*ss of a cop?
Good list
and that is when he arrests you..
lol..these are great..thanks for sharing them : )
very good you can have a star
thats hilarious
luved it!
fatastic
thanx for the giggle!
ill be passing these on to my friends very funny!
Question how do they get the holes in doughnuts....?
or dont i wanna know.....!
That is a brilliant list. I like those. Have a star. Thank you.
well done hun great list. ive taught you well
starred
Good list!!
The best way to p*ss off a cop is to be very nice and polite to them. It really confuses them!!
haha. i like 11.
Star for you-they were brill hun-
Last week i parked outside the shop on a zig-zag-a cop came and told me to move it-he said i could put 3 points on your license for that-i said no you cant-i havent got a licence!!xxhehe
Brilliant list hun....pmsl
i've written everyone down i'm going to use them!
hahaha love it!!!
hahaha some of these I have tried myself, no wonder I have a wanted pic in the police station j/k lmao....star!
nice one. have a star
here are afew more I did accidently that is:
pulled over for spot check on car and asked to turn my left indicator on I did but he said it would help if you put ignition on! Ops
Then asked during same spot check to now put full beam on to which my reply was ';Where is that never used it';
His reply was car ok go home get out the maual and read how your bloody car works madam!!!!
Daughters in back crawling under seat in embarrasment and left the police falling about with laughter oh the shame!!!!lol
haha those are funny! :)
Have a star! *-*
FUNNY. but i like chatting them up it's so funny. bless them.
good ones m
Lol , that was so funny , totally worth reading !! Thanks ... oh and I gave you a *star* !
good ones
Exactly how many of these do you hae experience with?
i wanna try some of them.
that is cool. sure he's gonna p*ss
star for u
Hahahhahaaaaa, brilliant darlin
Excellent
Some were cute...I didn't get past 30 though... I do want to give you some advice on numbers 25-28, you aren't actually using his pen. The cop has two pens, one for his use and one for yours. So the pen you are picking your nose with and that is in your ear or you are chewing on has been used by EVERY other driver he has pulled over, imagine what is on that pen. And it doesn't bother him, his pen is safe in his pocket..
Hehe well you could also just pull down your trousers and take a leek on him, or even cheekier, turn around and take a dump on his shoes :D
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 ways to p*ss of a cop?
Wow those are excellent. Thanks for sharing. Have a star.63 ways to p*ss of a cop?
Good list
and that is when he arrests you..
lol..these are great..thanks for sharing them : )
very good you can have a star
thats hilarious
luved it!
fatastic
thanx for the giggle!
ill be passing these on to my friends very funny!
Question how do they get the holes in doughnuts....?
or dont i wanna know.....!
That is a brilliant list. I like those. Have a star. Thank you.
well done hun great list. ive taught you well
starred
Good list!!
The best way to p*ss off a cop is to be very nice and polite to them. It really confuses them!!
haha. i like 11.
Star for you-they were brill hun-
Last week i parked outside the shop on a zig-zag-a cop came and told me to move it-he said i could put 3 points on your license for that-i said no you cant-i havent got a licence!!xxhehe
Brilliant list hun....pmsl
i've written everyone down i'm going to use them!
hahaha love it!!!
hahaha some of these I have tried myself, no wonder I have a wanted pic in the police station j/k lmao....star!
nice one. have a star
here are afew more I did accidently that is:
pulled over for spot check on car and asked to turn my left indicator on I did but he said it would help if you put ignition on! Ops
Then asked during same spot check to now put full beam on to which my reply was ';Where is that never used it';
His reply was car ok go home get out the maual and read how your bloody car works madam!!!!
Daughters in back crawling under seat in embarrasment and left the police falling about with laughter oh the shame!!!!lol
haha those are funny! :)
Have a star! *-*
FUNNY. but i like chatting them up it's so funny. bless them.
good ones m
Lol , that was so funny , totally worth reading !! Thanks ... oh and I gave you a *star* !
good ones
Exactly how many of these do you hae experience with?
i wanna try some of them.
that is cool. sure he's gonna p*ss
star for u
Hahahhahaaaaa, brilliant darlin
Excellent
Some were cute...I didn't get past 30 though... I do want to give you some advice on numbers 25-28, you aren't actually using his pen. The cop has two pens, one for his use and one for yours. So the pen you are picking your nose with and that is in your ear or you are chewing on has been used by EVERY other driver he has pulled over, imagine what is on that pen. And it doesn't bother him, his pen is safe in his pocket..
Hehe well you could also just pull down your trousers and take a leek on him, or even cheekier, turn around and take a dump on his shoes :D
What do you think of this chapter of my story?
1 Rose Appleby
The woman has her back to us. We can see the flute of pink champagne held in her steady hand. We can see the dangerously low cut of her beautiful dress. We can hear her melodic laughter like tiny bells tinkling. She is talking in a girlie, flirtatious voice to a charming, older man. Her voice is not always like that. She can alter her tone depending on who she is talking to. It’s not said, but we just know she is an elegant, successful and intelligent woman. She is vulnerable and strong, witty with an acidic tongue for anyone who tries to put her down. She is a modern woman…
Rose’s eyes snap open. She had that same ridiculous dream last night about a woman she doesn’t know that causes her to feel inadequate. It does not take much to make her feel inadequate though. Her attitude is that if she can attack herself first then it will not make any difference what anyone else says. She has already put herself down to a much greater degree than anyone else ever could. The strong sunlight is painful, so she vainly uses her hand to shield her eyes. Her mum has evidently pulled the curtains open so the sun will act as the alarm clock she keeps forgetting to set. Rose takes a deep breath readying herself to deal with the new day she already knows will be awful beyond expression. She fumbles with her hand for the notebook she is vaguely aware is on her sideboard. There it is and the pen with the gnawed end she uses to write in it is wedged in the notebooks spine. She scrawls in a fat, untidy hand her dream and thrusts the notebook back onto the sideboard. She now jumps out of bed. The rushed activity means she is out of bed before she knows it. If she paused to think about it she might never bother to get out of bed. She is hastily brushing her teeth now as she crams pens, pencils and paper into her rucksack. “‘Disorganisation’ should be your middle name, Rose Appleby!” as her mum likes to say, and as she likes to ignore. She is using a face cloth to attempt to scourge the dark circles and blemishes off her dull skin. As usual it does not work. She looks closely into the cloudy bathroom mirror. Looking sadly back at her is a small, slight eighteen year old with lank, black hair that hangs like a dead rag down her bony back. Her skin is ghostly-pale except for a shock off freckles on each cheek. Eventually she looks away in disgust.
She was a mediocre student throughout most of her school life until she hit sixteen. At sixteen she got the opportunity to really express herself. She took up Art something her parents had always dissuaded her from doing. Her palette was mostly blues, blacks and whites, colours that swirled together to create something depressing and pessimistic. That encapsulated her personality, she thought. Her teachers raved about her paintings, saying she had ‘a good eye’ and ‘an innate talent’ to each other and to her parents. This pleased Rose well enough, but really she would rather have not had the talent. She would rather have been unimaginative and dull-witted, but happier and more attractive than what she was now. It was the autumn term and the sixth-form was buzzing with talk of a fantastic university-life to come the next year. They would drink, sleep-around, get high on drugs and generally have a good time. Rose tried to imagine herself in the setting they proposed, but couldn’t. Where was her life going? She would drift gloomily around the school playground, the backdrop to the majority of her life thus far and mull it all over. The dream diary that recorded her recurring dream of this perfect, confident woman, almost Amazonian in her splendour, represented who and what she wanted to be. There was only one obstacle to all this-how was she going to get there?
Rose was sauntering home with her best and only friend Beth. Beth was clinging onto Rose’s unresponsive arm, a huge smile plastered on her face. Rose’s shoulders were sagging and her face was turned slightly toward the ground, so her sadness would not rub enough on her evidently ecstatic friend.
“I was reading the prospectus, you know, for Manchester. It just looks great, especially the history course! The guidance councillor happened to be in the library at the same time and she comes over. She says ‘Are you interested in attending Manchester University?’ I’m like ‘Of course, it’s meant to be one of the best’. She asks my predicted grades, I tell her and she replies that I should have no problem getting in. Isn’t that brilliant?”
Rose considers what it would be like if her lifelong friend and sole confidant moved to the other side of the country. The prospect does not seem all that brilliant. “Why are we always talking about universities these days? It’s dull.” Rose snaps bitterly.
Beth steps back, as if Rose has physically hit her. Rose opens her mouth to apologise, but is so ashamed she cannot speak. They walk on in silence for awhile; Beth is no longer linking arms with Rose. It is after school and as thWhat do you think of this chapter of my story?
Incomplete (You're missing a bit).
Also, seperate paragraphs with a blanc line.
The story didn't appeal to me, but that's because I only like fan-fiction.fish
The woman has her back to us. We can see the flute of pink champagne held in her steady hand. We can see the dangerously low cut of her beautiful dress. We can hear her melodic laughter like tiny bells tinkling. She is talking in a girlie, flirtatious voice to a charming, older man. Her voice is not always like that. She can alter her tone depending on who she is talking to. It’s not said, but we just know she is an elegant, successful and intelligent woman. She is vulnerable and strong, witty with an acidic tongue for anyone who tries to put her down. She is a modern woman…
Rose’s eyes snap open. She had that same ridiculous dream last night about a woman she doesn’t know that causes her to feel inadequate. It does not take much to make her feel inadequate though. Her attitude is that if she can attack herself first then it will not make any difference what anyone else says. She has already put herself down to a much greater degree than anyone else ever could. The strong sunlight is painful, so she vainly uses her hand to shield her eyes. Her mum has evidently pulled the curtains open so the sun will act as the alarm clock she keeps forgetting to set. Rose takes a deep breath readying herself to deal with the new day she already knows will be awful beyond expression. She fumbles with her hand for the notebook she is vaguely aware is on her sideboard. There it is and the pen with the gnawed end she uses to write in it is wedged in the notebooks spine. She scrawls in a fat, untidy hand her dream and thrusts the notebook back onto the sideboard. She now jumps out of bed. The rushed activity means she is out of bed before she knows it. If she paused to think about it she might never bother to get out of bed. She is hastily brushing her teeth now as she crams pens, pencils and paper into her rucksack. “‘Disorganisation’ should be your middle name, Rose Appleby!” as her mum likes to say, and as she likes to ignore. She is using a face cloth to attempt to scourge the dark circles and blemishes off her dull skin. As usual it does not work. She looks closely into the cloudy bathroom mirror. Looking sadly back at her is a small, slight eighteen year old with lank, black hair that hangs like a dead rag down her bony back. Her skin is ghostly-pale except for a shock off freckles on each cheek. Eventually she looks away in disgust.
She was a mediocre student throughout most of her school life until she hit sixteen. At sixteen she got the opportunity to really express herself. She took up Art something her parents had always dissuaded her from doing. Her palette was mostly blues, blacks and whites, colours that swirled together to create something depressing and pessimistic. That encapsulated her personality, she thought. Her teachers raved about her paintings, saying she had ‘a good eye’ and ‘an innate talent’ to each other and to her parents. This pleased Rose well enough, but really she would rather have not had the talent. She would rather have been unimaginative and dull-witted, but happier and more attractive than what she was now. It was the autumn term and the sixth-form was buzzing with talk of a fantastic university-life to come the next year. They would drink, sleep-around, get high on drugs and generally have a good time. Rose tried to imagine herself in the setting they proposed, but couldn’t. Where was her life going? She would drift gloomily around the school playground, the backdrop to the majority of her life thus far and mull it all over. The dream diary that recorded her recurring dream of this perfect, confident woman, almost Amazonian in her splendour, represented who and what she wanted to be. There was only one obstacle to all this-how was she going to get there?
Rose was sauntering home with her best and only friend Beth. Beth was clinging onto Rose’s unresponsive arm, a huge smile plastered on her face. Rose’s shoulders were sagging and her face was turned slightly toward the ground, so her sadness would not rub enough on her evidently ecstatic friend.
“I was reading the prospectus, you know, for Manchester. It just looks great, especially the history course! The guidance councillor happened to be in the library at the same time and she comes over. She says ‘Are you interested in attending Manchester University?’ I’m like ‘Of course, it’s meant to be one of the best’. She asks my predicted grades, I tell her and she replies that I should have no problem getting in. Isn’t that brilliant?”
Rose considers what it would be like if her lifelong friend and sole confidant moved to the other side of the country. The prospect does not seem all that brilliant. “Why are we always talking about universities these days? It’s dull.” Rose snaps bitterly.
Beth steps back, as if Rose has physically hit her. Rose opens her mouth to apologise, but is so ashamed she cannot speak. They walk on in silence for awhile; Beth is no longer linking arms with Rose. It is after school and as thWhat do you think of this chapter of my story?
Incomplete (You're missing a bit).
Also, seperate paragraphs with a blanc line.
The story didn't appeal to me, but that's because I only like fan-fiction.
What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
I really don't know what to do about this friend of mine. Here's the situation.
I met this girl over four years ago at a ballroom dance at a time in my life when I was very depressed and needed friends who were willing to support me and offer a listening ear. She was actually somewhat similar in her situation. I appreciated the fact that she could relate to me with her own story, but I had to explain to her that I did not feel like she was actually listening fully to what I was attempting to say.
Over the next year, I slowly started to come out of my shell. I developed self confidence, charisma, positivity, and I became a helluva good ballroom dancer too. This friend of mine stuck by me when I needed somebody to talk too, but honestly I never felt like she learned how to be the kind of active listener that I needed, so it was usually easier to turn to other more emotionally stable friends for guidance. Even worse, as I overcame depression, I began to realize that just spending time with her, and listening to her manner of talk was an exhausting ordeal for me.
Here's a short list of her annoying social habits:
-Tells me long-winded stories about her day even though I never asked about it.
-Asks me about personal matters at public dances, and says ';what's your problem?'; if I tell her to please not bring that matter up, because I want to enjoy myself for the evening.
-She has practically ';trained'; me to always give her a hug when I arrive and when I leave, even though I don't want to.
-Makes a big deal about complimenting my appearances.
-She's bossy, and always have 3-4 canned excuses for her lazy dysfunctional personality.
-Did I mention she can talk forever? Yes she has Attention Deficit Disorder, and sometimes she acts like a 2 year old in Disneyland.
-Sometimes she forgets that I don't like being poked with her finger, until I remind her that I will break her finger if she does it again. After that she usually switches to sticking her tongue at me and then laughing because she thinks it's funny.
Believe it or not, she's 28 years old. She's about 50 pounds overweight, has stringy greasy hair, and has a bigger mustache than my guy friends, and she's been content living on unemployment and her parent's money for the past year while living alone and miserable in a dumpy apartment. I'm 29 years old, thin/athletic, very good looking, have had a steady job since 2003, one of the top ballroom dancers in the state, and a genuinely nice person and host to people every time I go out dancing.
Lately I'm not even wanting to go out dancing anymore, because I don't even want to deal with her. She's always at the Sunday dance. When she's not leeching off me, she leeches off 2 or 3 other guys, or my competition partner and my partner's sister. I don't even want to dance with her anymore, but I'm too nice to refuse an invitation, because I don't want to cause a scene.
What the heck am I supposed to do with her? Two of my friends can't stand her, and they both agree I need to tell the pig to back off (in less nice words) because she acts like she's ';turning me into her boyfriend'; with the hugging, attention, and dancing. It's hard for me to see it that way. Do women actually do this? They are both think she has some measure of control over me, and it's a bit embarrassing that I even put up with her crap.
She keeps saying we need to hang out more and she misses me (I've purposely been avoiding the dance the past month), and I told her ';you have a phone... try using it sometime'; (I have a sarcastically truthful sense of humor). Now I'm regretting that I even said this, because I don't have any more patience for enduring another hour of conversation with her. Her self-guilt is toxic, and for some reason she likes to remind me of past depressing issues (ie. layoffs at my work, car trouble), that I purposely cast out of mind mind so that I could enjoy the evening, but she puts that worry in my mind and that makes it very difficult to enjoy my time.
She is a real drag, and I think it's time to cut the fat.
No more mister nice guy. What do I need to do?What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
Do you really need other people to tell you what to do with your life? Or are you looking for approval and permission?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Well, I guess if you want to allow her to run your life based on things she MIGHT say....you actually think the friends that truly know you and other people see her for the ';drama queen'; she truly is will believe her and her stories over what they know about you...you apparently have trust issues with your ';friends';. If your ';friends'; and others know your reputation, I can't see why they'd believe her over you. But, they're your ';friends'; and you know them better than anyone.
she's entitled to her OPINION. By reacting to anything she says, true or not, you give validity and credence to her words and stories....you basically make what she says true.
Think about that for a while.What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
u need to slap that BEEP!!! she will lern a lesson
she probably feels worse now that you're succeeding in life.
Find a hot jealous date to bring with you.
you are calling a person pig, leech etc who had once tried help you come out of a bad stage of your life. May be she likes you
just because she doesnot look good does not mean she cant love any one. you dont love her is another thing. No one
is expecting you to love her but dont entertain her lest she should feel that you are responding but if you ***** about your friend
infront of us, we would feel that you are a selfish person. so use some better words. Just an advice.
You can tell her that you have got a girl-friend and she needs your attention as she is not well something like that so that she tries to forget you.You may have to shout at her as not to treat you as boy-friend, trust me it will be good for both of you. She may cry for a while but then hate you and be away. If you carry on and allow her to develop emotions for you she may feel more hurted. So by shouting at her you are not hurting instead it is ';a stich in time saves nine'; kind of thing.
You have to tell her that you are sick of her actions and don't even want to be friends any more. She will be mad and she will be hurt SO WHAT isn't that how you feel with her crawling all over you. I have an old saying that if someone is going to be mad its not going to be me. WELL right now its you SO do the turn around and just out with it. Get it over and behind you. Then you can enjoy yourself at any dance you want to without her ruining your nite.
Maybe you are the kind of person that simply wants to let her down easy. My suggestion then is to get a really good excuse (read that, white lie) as to why you can't spend as much time with her anymore. Tell her that you are learning to play the guitar or something like that...and that you need to devote 2 to 3 hours a day to practice. Or, learning a foreign language (which is a good thing to do anyways). Or, some other excuse as to why you are limited in your time you can spend with her.
Just look at you watch when you meet her and say, ';Hey, it's great to see you. Yeah. But I hate to do this...gotta cut this short. You see, I have to go home real soon and study my Spanish. I really really want to learn how to speak it so I can take a cruise to Cancun sometime in 2012. But, it's great seeing you again! Bye!';
Talk to her about it all. Well at least try to talk to her about it. It honestly sounds like she needs you right now like you needed her all those years ago.school myspace metal necklace
I met this girl over four years ago at a ballroom dance at a time in my life when I was very depressed and needed friends who were willing to support me and offer a listening ear. She was actually somewhat similar in her situation. I appreciated the fact that she could relate to me with her own story, but I had to explain to her that I did not feel like she was actually listening fully to what I was attempting to say.
Over the next year, I slowly started to come out of my shell. I developed self confidence, charisma, positivity, and I became a helluva good ballroom dancer too. This friend of mine stuck by me when I needed somebody to talk too, but honestly I never felt like she learned how to be the kind of active listener that I needed, so it was usually easier to turn to other more emotionally stable friends for guidance. Even worse, as I overcame depression, I began to realize that just spending time with her, and listening to her manner of talk was an exhausting ordeal for me.
Here's a short list of her annoying social habits:
-Tells me long-winded stories about her day even though I never asked about it.
-Asks me about personal matters at public dances, and says ';what's your problem?'; if I tell her to please not bring that matter up, because I want to enjoy myself for the evening.
-She has practically ';trained'; me to always give her a hug when I arrive and when I leave, even though I don't want to.
-Makes a big deal about complimenting my appearances.
-She's bossy, and always have 3-4 canned excuses for her lazy dysfunctional personality.
-Did I mention she can talk forever? Yes she has Attention Deficit Disorder, and sometimes she acts like a 2 year old in Disneyland.
-Sometimes she forgets that I don't like being poked with her finger, until I remind her that I will break her finger if she does it again. After that she usually switches to sticking her tongue at me and then laughing because she thinks it's funny.
Believe it or not, she's 28 years old. She's about 50 pounds overweight, has stringy greasy hair, and has a bigger mustache than my guy friends, and she's been content living on unemployment and her parent's money for the past year while living alone and miserable in a dumpy apartment. I'm 29 years old, thin/athletic, very good looking, have had a steady job since 2003, one of the top ballroom dancers in the state, and a genuinely nice person and host to people every time I go out dancing.
Lately I'm not even wanting to go out dancing anymore, because I don't even want to deal with her. She's always at the Sunday dance. When she's not leeching off me, she leeches off 2 or 3 other guys, or my competition partner and my partner's sister. I don't even want to dance with her anymore, but I'm too nice to refuse an invitation, because I don't want to cause a scene.
What the heck am I supposed to do with her? Two of my friends can't stand her, and they both agree I need to tell the pig to back off (in less nice words) because she acts like she's ';turning me into her boyfriend'; with the hugging, attention, and dancing. It's hard for me to see it that way. Do women actually do this? They are both think she has some measure of control over me, and it's a bit embarrassing that I even put up with her crap.
She keeps saying we need to hang out more and she misses me (I've purposely been avoiding the dance the past month), and I told her ';you have a phone... try using it sometime'; (I have a sarcastically truthful sense of humor). Now I'm regretting that I even said this, because I don't have any more patience for enduring another hour of conversation with her. Her self-guilt is toxic, and for some reason she likes to remind me of past depressing issues (ie. layoffs at my work, car trouble), that I purposely cast out of mind mind so that I could enjoy the evening, but she puts that worry in my mind and that makes it very difficult to enjoy my time.
She is a real drag, and I think it's time to cut the fat.
No more mister nice guy. What do I need to do?What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
Do you really need other people to tell you what to do with your life? Or are you looking for approval and permission?
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Well, I guess if you want to allow her to run your life based on things she MIGHT say....you actually think the friends that truly know you and other people see her for the ';drama queen'; she truly is will believe her and her stories over what they know about you...you apparently have trust issues with your ';friends';. If your ';friends'; and others know your reputation, I can't see why they'd believe her over you. But, they're your ';friends'; and you know them better than anyone.
she's entitled to her OPINION. By reacting to anything she says, true or not, you give validity and credence to her words and stories....you basically make what she says true.
Think about that for a while.What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
u need to slap that BEEP!!! she will lern a lesson
she probably feels worse now that you're succeeding in life.
Find a hot jealous date to bring with you.
you are calling a person pig, leech etc who had once tried help you come out of a bad stage of your life. May be she likes you
just because she doesnot look good does not mean she cant love any one. you dont love her is another thing. No one
is expecting you to love her but dont entertain her lest she should feel that you are responding but if you ***** about your friend
infront of us, we would feel that you are a selfish person. so use some better words. Just an advice.
You can tell her that you have got a girl-friend and she needs your attention as she is not well something like that so that she tries to forget you.You may have to shout at her as not to treat you as boy-friend, trust me it will be good for both of you. She may cry for a while but then hate you and be away. If you carry on and allow her to develop emotions for you she may feel more hurted. So by shouting at her you are not hurting instead it is ';a stich in time saves nine'; kind of thing.
You have to tell her that you are sick of her actions and don't even want to be friends any more. She will be mad and she will be hurt SO WHAT isn't that how you feel with her crawling all over you. I have an old saying that if someone is going to be mad its not going to be me. WELL right now its you SO do the turn around and just out with it. Get it over and behind you. Then you can enjoy yourself at any dance you want to without her ruining your nite.
Maybe you are the kind of person that simply wants to let her down easy. My suggestion then is to get a really good excuse (read that, white lie) as to why you can't spend as much time with her anymore. Tell her that you are learning to play the guitar or something like that...and that you need to devote 2 to 3 hours a day to practice. Or, learning a foreign language (which is a good thing to do anyways). Or, some other excuse as to why you are limited in your time you can spend with her.
Just look at you watch when you meet her and say, ';Hey, it's great to see you. Yeah. But I hate to do this...gotta cut this short. You see, I have to go home real soon and study my Spanish. I really really want to learn how to speak it so I can take a cruise to Cancun sometime in 2012. But, it's great seeing you again! Bye!';
Talk to her about it all. Well at least try to talk to her about it. It honestly sounds like she needs you right now like you needed her all those years ago.
Whitehouse intern employment application?
i found this online somewhere . lol .
Name: ___________________________________ (Optional) Age: Legal: __ Under: __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Sex: Oral __ Improper __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Position applying for: On top: __ Below: __ Behind: __ Other: __ (Please describe in graphic detail.) ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ Education Level: You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up __ Oral sex is not adultery __ You're still a virgin if he pulls out early __ It's not perjury if it's a civil case __ Less than five women isn't cheating
__ Typing Speed: __ words per minute. __ words per minute using only tongue. Distance can suck a golf ball though a garden hose: 5 feet: __ 10 feet: __ 100 feet: __ Don't need garden hose: __ List other talents that you believe qualify you for a White House position: Above the waist: ______________________________________ Below the waist: ______________________________________ Kama Sutra: Page number(s): ______________________________________ Do you or any of your friends own a tape recorder? No __ Grand jury alert __ Do you keep a diary? No __ Yes __ If yes, do you lie to it? ______________________________________ How would you best describe your reasons for wanting to work for the White House? Serve my country __ Report what is going on to Hillary __ Join the Air Force One
Mile High Club __ Previous Experience: Hugh Hefner: __ Dallas Cowboys: __ Seventh Fleet: __ JFK: __ The Night Stalker __ Reason for leaving previous position? Employer died in ecstasy __ Subpoena __ Death threat from employer's wife __ Boyfriend killed employer __ but it's OK. He still in jail __ References: Gennifer Flowers __ Paula Jones __ Monica Lewinsky __ Janet Reno __ Ted Kennedy __ Ken Starr __ Sam Donaldson __ Where did you hear about this job? Personal ad __ National Enquirer __ New York Times __ Bimbo Eruption Newsletter __ Dick Morris __ James Carville __ (We are not responsible for the hundred dollars he may promised you or your trailer park!) Phone number in bathroom __ Secret Witness Program __
========================================鈥? Employer use only: Slick Wille | Little Wille | 1st ***** Loser __ | Loose lips __ | Bill __ OK __ | Deep Throat __ | Janet __ Oval Office __ | Zip Lock __ | Files __ Willie Room __ | Presidential Seal __ | My Place __ Form 1-98-7354
--------------------------------------鈥?br>
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HA! Yes, that is a funny one.
Name: ___________________________________ (Optional) Age: Legal: __ Under: __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Sex: Oral __ Improper __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Position applying for: On top: __ Below: __ Behind: __ Other: __ (Please describe in graphic detail.) ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ Education Level: You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up __ Oral sex is not adultery __ You're still a virgin if he pulls out early __ It's not perjury if it's a civil case __ Less than five women isn't cheating
__ Typing Speed: __ words per minute. __ words per minute using only tongue. Distance can suck a golf ball though a garden hose: 5 feet: __ 10 feet: __ 100 feet: __ Don't need garden hose: __ List other talents that you believe qualify you for a White House position: Above the waist: ______________________________________ Below the waist: ______________________________________ Kama Sutra: Page number(s): ______________________________________ Do you or any of your friends own a tape recorder? No __ Grand jury alert __ Do you keep a diary? No __ Yes __ If yes, do you lie to it? ______________________________________ How would you best describe your reasons for wanting to work for the White House? Serve my country __ Report what is going on to Hillary __ Join the Air Force One
Mile High Club __ Previous Experience: Hugh Hefner: __ Dallas Cowboys: __ Seventh Fleet: __ JFK: __ The Night Stalker __ Reason for leaving previous position? Employer died in ecstasy __ Subpoena __ Death threat from employer's wife __ Boyfriend killed employer __ but it's OK. He still in jail __ References: Gennifer Flowers __ Paula Jones __ Monica Lewinsky __ Janet Reno __ Ted Kennedy __ Ken Starr __ Sam Donaldson __ Where did you hear about this job? Personal ad __ National Enquirer __ New York Times __ Bimbo Eruption Newsletter __ Dick Morris __ James Carville __ (We are not responsible for the hundred dollars he may promised you or your trailer park!) Phone number in bathroom __ Secret Witness Program __
========================================鈥? Employer use only: Slick Wille | Little Wille | 1st ***** Loser __ | Loose lips __ | Bill __ OK __ | Deep Throat __ | Janet __ Oval Office __ | Zip Lock __ | Files __ Willie Room __ | Presidential Seal __ | My Place __ Form 1-98-7354
--------------------------------------鈥?br>
New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC and save big. DeleteReplyForwardSpamMove...
Previous | Next | Back to Messages Save Message Text | Full HeadersWhitehouse intern employment application?
HA! Yes, that is a funny one.
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