1. When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?';
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 ways to p*ss of a cop?
Wow those are excellent. Thanks for sharing. Have a star.63 ways to p*ss of a cop?
Good list
and that is when he arrests you..
lol..these are great..thanks for sharing them : )
very good you can have a star
thats hilarious
luved it!
fatastic
thanx for the giggle!
ill be passing these on to my friends very funny!
Question how do they get the holes in doughnuts....?
or dont i wanna know.....!
That is a brilliant list. I like those. Have a star. Thank you.
well done hun great list. ive taught you well
starred
Good list!!
The best way to p*ss off a cop is to be very nice and polite to them. It really confuses them!!
haha. i like 11.
Star for you-they were brill hun-
Last week i parked outside the shop on a zig-zag-a cop came and told me to move it-he said i could put 3 points on your license for that-i said no you cant-i havent got a licence!!xxhehe
Brilliant list hun....pmsl
i've written everyone down i'm going to use them!
hahaha love it!!!
hahaha some of these I have tried myself, no wonder I have a wanted pic in the police station j/k lmao....star!
nice one. have a star
here are afew more I did accidently that is:
pulled over for spot check on car and asked to turn my left indicator on I did but he said it would help if you put ignition on! Ops
Then asked during same spot check to now put full beam on to which my reply was ';Where is that never used it';
His reply was car ok go home get out the maual and read how your bloody car works madam!!!!
Daughters in back crawling under seat in embarrasment and left the police falling about with laughter oh the shame!!!!lol
haha those are funny! :)
Have a star! *-*
FUNNY. but i like chatting them up it's so funny. bless them.
good ones m
Lol , that was so funny , totally worth reading !! Thanks ... oh and I gave you a *star* !
good ones
Exactly how many of these do you hae experience with?
i wanna try some of them.
that is cool. sure he's gonna p*ss
star for u
Hahahhahaaaaa, brilliant darlin
Excellent
Some were cute...I didn't get past 30 though... I do want to give you some advice on numbers 25-28, you aren't actually using his pen. The cop has two pens, one for his use and one for yours. So the pen you are picking your nose with and that is in your ear or you are chewing on has been used by EVERY other driver he has pulled over, imagine what is on that pen. And it doesn't bother him, his pen is safe in his pocket..
Hehe well you could also just pull down your trousers and take a leek on him, or even cheekier, turn around and take a dump on his shoes :D
Thursday, October 28, 2010
What do you think of this chapter of my story?
1 Rose Appleby
The woman has her back to us. We can see the flute of pink champagne held in her steady hand. We can see the dangerously low cut of her beautiful dress. We can hear her melodic laughter like tiny bells tinkling. She is talking in a girlie, flirtatious voice to a charming, older man. Her voice is not always like that. She can alter her tone depending on who she is talking to. It’s not said, but we just know she is an elegant, successful and intelligent woman. She is vulnerable and strong, witty with an acidic tongue for anyone who tries to put her down. She is a modern woman…
Rose’s eyes snap open. She had that same ridiculous dream last night about a woman she doesn’t know that causes her to feel inadequate. It does not take much to make her feel inadequate though. Her attitude is that if she can attack herself first then it will not make any difference what anyone else says. She has already put herself down to a much greater degree than anyone else ever could. The strong sunlight is painful, so she vainly uses her hand to shield her eyes. Her mum has evidently pulled the curtains open so the sun will act as the alarm clock she keeps forgetting to set. Rose takes a deep breath readying herself to deal with the new day she already knows will be awful beyond expression. She fumbles with her hand for the notebook she is vaguely aware is on her sideboard. There it is and the pen with the gnawed end she uses to write in it is wedged in the notebooks spine. She scrawls in a fat, untidy hand her dream and thrusts the notebook back onto the sideboard. She now jumps out of bed. The rushed activity means she is out of bed before she knows it. If she paused to think about it she might never bother to get out of bed. She is hastily brushing her teeth now as she crams pens, pencils and paper into her rucksack. “‘Disorganisation’ should be your middle name, Rose Appleby!” as her mum likes to say, and as she likes to ignore. She is using a face cloth to attempt to scourge the dark circles and blemishes off her dull skin. As usual it does not work. She looks closely into the cloudy bathroom mirror. Looking sadly back at her is a small, slight eighteen year old with lank, black hair that hangs like a dead rag down her bony back. Her skin is ghostly-pale except for a shock off freckles on each cheek. Eventually she looks away in disgust.
She was a mediocre student throughout most of her school life until she hit sixteen. At sixteen she got the opportunity to really express herself. She took up Art something her parents had always dissuaded her from doing. Her palette was mostly blues, blacks and whites, colours that swirled together to create something depressing and pessimistic. That encapsulated her personality, she thought. Her teachers raved about her paintings, saying she had ‘a good eye’ and ‘an innate talent’ to each other and to her parents. This pleased Rose well enough, but really she would rather have not had the talent. She would rather have been unimaginative and dull-witted, but happier and more attractive than what she was now. It was the autumn term and the sixth-form was buzzing with talk of a fantastic university-life to come the next year. They would drink, sleep-around, get high on drugs and generally have a good time. Rose tried to imagine herself in the setting they proposed, but couldn’t. Where was her life going? She would drift gloomily around the school playground, the backdrop to the majority of her life thus far and mull it all over. The dream diary that recorded her recurring dream of this perfect, confident woman, almost Amazonian in her splendour, represented who and what she wanted to be. There was only one obstacle to all this-how was she going to get there?
Rose was sauntering home with her best and only friend Beth. Beth was clinging onto Rose’s unresponsive arm, a huge smile plastered on her face. Rose’s shoulders were sagging and her face was turned slightly toward the ground, so her sadness would not rub enough on her evidently ecstatic friend.
“I was reading the prospectus, you know, for Manchester. It just looks great, especially the history course! The guidance councillor happened to be in the library at the same time and she comes over. She says ‘Are you interested in attending Manchester University?’ I’m like ‘Of course, it’s meant to be one of the best’. She asks my predicted grades, I tell her and she replies that I should have no problem getting in. Isn’t that brilliant?”
Rose considers what it would be like if her lifelong friend and sole confidant moved to the other side of the country. The prospect does not seem all that brilliant. “Why are we always talking about universities these days? It’s dull.” Rose snaps bitterly.
Beth steps back, as if Rose has physically hit her. Rose opens her mouth to apologise, but is so ashamed she cannot speak. They walk on in silence for awhile; Beth is no longer linking arms with Rose. It is after school and as thWhat do you think of this chapter of my story?
Incomplete (You're missing a bit).
Also, seperate paragraphs with a blanc line.
The story didn't appeal to me, but that's because I only like fan-fiction.fish
The woman has her back to us. We can see the flute of pink champagne held in her steady hand. We can see the dangerously low cut of her beautiful dress. We can hear her melodic laughter like tiny bells tinkling. She is talking in a girlie, flirtatious voice to a charming, older man. Her voice is not always like that. She can alter her tone depending on who she is talking to. It’s not said, but we just know she is an elegant, successful and intelligent woman. She is vulnerable and strong, witty with an acidic tongue for anyone who tries to put her down. She is a modern woman…
Rose’s eyes snap open. She had that same ridiculous dream last night about a woman she doesn’t know that causes her to feel inadequate. It does not take much to make her feel inadequate though. Her attitude is that if she can attack herself first then it will not make any difference what anyone else says. She has already put herself down to a much greater degree than anyone else ever could. The strong sunlight is painful, so she vainly uses her hand to shield her eyes. Her mum has evidently pulled the curtains open so the sun will act as the alarm clock she keeps forgetting to set. Rose takes a deep breath readying herself to deal with the new day she already knows will be awful beyond expression. She fumbles with her hand for the notebook she is vaguely aware is on her sideboard. There it is and the pen with the gnawed end she uses to write in it is wedged in the notebooks spine. She scrawls in a fat, untidy hand her dream and thrusts the notebook back onto the sideboard. She now jumps out of bed. The rushed activity means she is out of bed before she knows it. If she paused to think about it she might never bother to get out of bed. She is hastily brushing her teeth now as she crams pens, pencils and paper into her rucksack. “‘Disorganisation’ should be your middle name, Rose Appleby!” as her mum likes to say, and as she likes to ignore. She is using a face cloth to attempt to scourge the dark circles and blemishes off her dull skin. As usual it does not work. She looks closely into the cloudy bathroom mirror. Looking sadly back at her is a small, slight eighteen year old with lank, black hair that hangs like a dead rag down her bony back. Her skin is ghostly-pale except for a shock off freckles on each cheek. Eventually she looks away in disgust.
She was a mediocre student throughout most of her school life until she hit sixteen. At sixteen she got the opportunity to really express herself. She took up Art something her parents had always dissuaded her from doing. Her palette was mostly blues, blacks and whites, colours that swirled together to create something depressing and pessimistic. That encapsulated her personality, she thought. Her teachers raved about her paintings, saying she had ‘a good eye’ and ‘an innate talent’ to each other and to her parents. This pleased Rose well enough, but really she would rather have not had the talent. She would rather have been unimaginative and dull-witted, but happier and more attractive than what she was now. It was the autumn term and the sixth-form was buzzing with talk of a fantastic university-life to come the next year. They would drink, sleep-around, get high on drugs and generally have a good time. Rose tried to imagine herself in the setting they proposed, but couldn’t. Where was her life going? She would drift gloomily around the school playground, the backdrop to the majority of her life thus far and mull it all over. The dream diary that recorded her recurring dream of this perfect, confident woman, almost Amazonian in her splendour, represented who and what she wanted to be. There was only one obstacle to all this-how was she going to get there?
Rose was sauntering home with her best and only friend Beth. Beth was clinging onto Rose’s unresponsive arm, a huge smile plastered on her face. Rose’s shoulders were sagging and her face was turned slightly toward the ground, so her sadness would not rub enough on her evidently ecstatic friend.
“I was reading the prospectus, you know, for Manchester. It just looks great, especially the history course! The guidance councillor happened to be in the library at the same time and she comes over. She says ‘Are you interested in attending Manchester University?’ I’m like ‘Of course, it’s meant to be one of the best’. She asks my predicted grades, I tell her and she replies that I should have no problem getting in. Isn’t that brilliant?”
Rose considers what it would be like if her lifelong friend and sole confidant moved to the other side of the country. The prospect does not seem all that brilliant. “Why are we always talking about universities these days? It’s dull.” Rose snaps bitterly.
Beth steps back, as if Rose has physically hit her. Rose opens her mouth to apologise, but is so ashamed she cannot speak. They walk on in silence for awhile; Beth is no longer linking arms with Rose. It is after school and as thWhat do you think of this chapter of my story?
Incomplete (You're missing a bit).
Also, seperate paragraphs with a blanc line.
The story didn't appeal to me, but that's because I only like fan-fiction.
What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
I really don't know what to do about this friend of mine. Here's the situation.
I met this girl over four years ago at a ballroom dance at a time in my life when I was very depressed and needed friends who were willing to support me and offer a listening ear. She was actually somewhat similar in her situation. I appreciated the fact that she could relate to me with her own story, but I had to explain to her that I did not feel like she was actually listening fully to what I was attempting to say.
Over the next year, I slowly started to come out of my shell. I developed self confidence, charisma, positivity, and I became a helluva good ballroom dancer too. This friend of mine stuck by me when I needed somebody to talk too, but honestly I never felt like she learned how to be the kind of active listener that I needed, so it was usually easier to turn to other more emotionally stable friends for guidance. Even worse, as I overcame depression, I began to realize that just spending time with her, and listening to her manner of talk was an exhausting ordeal for me.
Here's a short list of her annoying social habits:
-Tells me long-winded stories about her day even though I never asked about it.
-Asks me about personal matters at public dances, and says ';what's your problem?'; if I tell her to please not bring that matter up, because I want to enjoy myself for the evening.
-She has practically ';trained'; me to always give her a hug when I arrive and when I leave, even though I don't want to.
-Makes a big deal about complimenting my appearances.
-She's bossy, and always have 3-4 canned excuses for her lazy dysfunctional personality.
-Did I mention she can talk forever? Yes she has Attention Deficit Disorder, and sometimes she acts like a 2 year old in Disneyland.
-Sometimes she forgets that I don't like being poked with her finger, until I remind her that I will break her finger if she does it again. After that she usually switches to sticking her tongue at me and then laughing because she thinks it's funny.
Believe it or not, she's 28 years old. She's about 50 pounds overweight, has stringy greasy hair, and has a bigger mustache than my guy friends, and she's been content living on unemployment and her parent's money for the past year while living alone and miserable in a dumpy apartment. I'm 29 years old, thin/athletic, very good looking, have had a steady job since 2003, one of the top ballroom dancers in the state, and a genuinely nice person and host to people every time I go out dancing.
Lately I'm not even wanting to go out dancing anymore, because I don't even want to deal with her. She's always at the Sunday dance. When she's not leeching off me, she leeches off 2 or 3 other guys, or my competition partner and my partner's sister. I don't even want to dance with her anymore, but I'm too nice to refuse an invitation, because I don't want to cause a scene.
What the heck am I supposed to do with her? Two of my friends can't stand her, and they both agree I need to tell the pig to back off (in less nice words) because she acts like she's ';turning me into her boyfriend'; with the hugging, attention, and dancing. It's hard for me to see it that way. Do women actually do this? They are both think she has some measure of control over me, and it's a bit embarrassing that I even put up with her crap.
She keeps saying we need to hang out more and she misses me (I've purposely been avoiding the dance the past month), and I told her ';you have a phone... try using it sometime'; (I have a sarcastically truthful sense of humor). Now I'm regretting that I even said this, because I don't have any more patience for enduring another hour of conversation with her. Her self-guilt is toxic, and for some reason she likes to remind me of past depressing issues (ie. layoffs at my work, car trouble), that I purposely cast out of mind mind so that I could enjoy the evening, but she puts that worry in my mind and that makes it very difficult to enjoy my time.
She is a real drag, and I think it's time to cut the fat.
No more mister nice guy. What do I need to do?What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
Do you really need other people to tell you what to do with your life? Or are you looking for approval and permission?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Well, I guess if you want to allow her to run your life based on things she MIGHT say....you actually think the friends that truly know you and other people see her for the ';drama queen'; she truly is will believe her and her stories over what they know about you...you apparently have trust issues with your ';friends';. If your ';friends'; and others know your reputation, I can't see why they'd believe her over you. But, they're your ';friends'; and you know them better than anyone.
she's entitled to her OPINION. By reacting to anything she says, true or not, you give validity and credence to her words and stories....you basically make what she says true.
Think about that for a while.What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
u need to slap that BEEP!!! she will lern a lesson
she probably feels worse now that you're succeeding in life.
Find a hot jealous date to bring with you.
you are calling a person pig, leech etc who had once tried help you come out of a bad stage of your life. May be she likes you
just because she doesnot look good does not mean she cant love any one. you dont love her is another thing. No one
is expecting you to love her but dont entertain her lest she should feel that you are responding but if you ***** about your friend
infront of us, we would feel that you are a selfish person. so use some better words. Just an advice.
You can tell her that you have got a girl-friend and she needs your attention as she is not well something like that so that she tries to forget you.You may have to shout at her as not to treat you as boy-friend, trust me it will be good for both of you. She may cry for a while but then hate you and be away. If you carry on and allow her to develop emotions for you she may feel more hurted. So by shouting at her you are not hurting instead it is ';a stich in time saves nine'; kind of thing.
You have to tell her that you are sick of her actions and don't even want to be friends any more. She will be mad and she will be hurt SO WHAT isn't that how you feel with her crawling all over you. I have an old saying that if someone is going to be mad its not going to be me. WELL right now its you SO do the turn around and just out with it. Get it over and behind you. Then you can enjoy yourself at any dance you want to without her ruining your nite.
Maybe you are the kind of person that simply wants to let her down easy. My suggestion then is to get a really good excuse (read that, white lie) as to why you can't spend as much time with her anymore. Tell her that you are learning to play the guitar or something like that...and that you need to devote 2 to 3 hours a day to practice. Or, learning a foreign language (which is a good thing to do anyways). Or, some other excuse as to why you are limited in your time you can spend with her.
Just look at you watch when you meet her and say, ';Hey, it's great to see you. Yeah. But I hate to do this...gotta cut this short. You see, I have to go home real soon and study my Spanish. I really really want to learn how to speak it so I can take a cruise to Cancun sometime in 2012. But, it's great seeing you again! Bye!';
Talk to her about it all. Well at least try to talk to her about it. It honestly sounds like she needs you right now like you needed her all those years ago.school myspace metal necklace
I met this girl over four years ago at a ballroom dance at a time in my life when I was very depressed and needed friends who were willing to support me and offer a listening ear. She was actually somewhat similar in her situation. I appreciated the fact that she could relate to me with her own story, but I had to explain to her that I did not feel like she was actually listening fully to what I was attempting to say.
Over the next year, I slowly started to come out of my shell. I developed self confidence, charisma, positivity, and I became a helluva good ballroom dancer too. This friend of mine stuck by me when I needed somebody to talk too, but honestly I never felt like she learned how to be the kind of active listener that I needed, so it was usually easier to turn to other more emotionally stable friends for guidance. Even worse, as I overcame depression, I began to realize that just spending time with her, and listening to her manner of talk was an exhausting ordeal for me.
Here's a short list of her annoying social habits:
-Tells me long-winded stories about her day even though I never asked about it.
-Asks me about personal matters at public dances, and says ';what's your problem?'; if I tell her to please not bring that matter up, because I want to enjoy myself for the evening.
-She has practically ';trained'; me to always give her a hug when I arrive and when I leave, even though I don't want to.
-Makes a big deal about complimenting my appearances.
-She's bossy, and always have 3-4 canned excuses for her lazy dysfunctional personality.
-Did I mention she can talk forever? Yes she has Attention Deficit Disorder, and sometimes she acts like a 2 year old in Disneyland.
-Sometimes she forgets that I don't like being poked with her finger, until I remind her that I will break her finger if she does it again. After that she usually switches to sticking her tongue at me and then laughing because she thinks it's funny.
Believe it or not, she's 28 years old. She's about 50 pounds overweight, has stringy greasy hair, and has a bigger mustache than my guy friends, and she's been content living on unemployment and her parent's money for the past year while living alone and miserable in a dumpy apartment. I'm 29 years old, thin/athletic, very good looking, have had a steady job since 2003, one of the top ballroom dancers in the state, and a genuinely nice person and host to people every time I go out dancing.
Lately I'm not even wanting to go out dancing anymore, because I don't even want to deal with her. She's always at the Sunday dance. When she's not leeching off me, she leeches off 2 or 3 other guys, or my competition partner and my partner's sister. I don't even want to dance with her anymore, but I'm too nice to refuse an invitation, because I don't want to cause a scene.
What the heck am I supposed to do with her? Two of my friends can't stand her, and they both agree I need to tell the pig to back off (in less nice words) because she acts like she's ';turning me into her boyfriend'; with the hugging, attention, and dancing. It's hard for me to see it that way. Do women actually do this? They are both think she has some measure of control over me, and it's a bit embarrassing that I even put up with her crap.
She keeps saying we need to hang out more and she misses me (I've purposely been avoiding the dance the past month), and I told her ';you have a phone... try using it sometime'; (I have a sarcastically truthful sense of humor). Now I'm regretting that I even said this, because I don't have any more patience for enduring another hour of conversation with her. Her self-guilt is toxic, and for some reason she likes to remind me of past depressing issues (ie. layoffs at my work, car trouble), that I purposely cast out of mind mind so that I could enjoy the evening, but she puts that worry in my mind and that makes it very difficult to enjoy my time.
She is a real drag, and I think it's time to cut the fat.
No more mister nice guy. What do I need to do?What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
Do you really need other people to tell you what to do with your life? Or are you looking for approval and permission?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Well, I guess if you want to allow her to run your life based on things she MIGHT say....you actually think the friends that truly know you and other people see her for the ';drama queen'; she truly is will believe her and her stories over what they know about you...you apparently have trust issues with your ';friends';. If your ';friends'; and others know your reputation, I can't see why they'd believe her over you. But, they're your ';friends'; and you know them better than anyone.
she's entitled to her OPINION. By reacting to anything she says, true or not, you give validity and credence to her words and stories....you basically make what she says true.
Think about that for a while.What do I do with this toxic friendship? She's a pitiful person pulling me down to her level. What now?
u need to slap that BEEP!!! she will lern a lesson
she probably feels worse now that you're succeeding in life.
Find a hot jealous date to bring with you.
you are calling a person pig, leech etc who had once tried help you come out of a bad stage of your life. May be she likes you
just because she doesnot look good does not mean she cant love any one. you dont love her is another thing. No one
is expecting you to love her but dont entertain her lest she should feel that you are responding but if you ***** about your friend
infront of us, we would feel that you are a selfish person. so use some better words. Just an advice.
You can tell her that you have got a girl-friend and she needs your attention as she is not well something like that so that she tries to forget you.You may have to shout at her as not to treat you as boy-friend, trust me it will be good for both of you. She may cry for a while but then hate you and be away. If you carry on and allow her to develop emotions for you she may feel more hurted. So by shouting at her you are not hurting instead it is ';a stich in time saves nine'; kind of thing.
You have to tell her that you are sick of her actions and don't even want to be friends any more. She will be mad and she will be hurt SO WHAT isn't that how you feel with her crawling all over you. I have an old saying that if someone is going to be mad its not going to be me. WELL right now its you SO do the turn around and just out with it. Get it over and behind you. Then you can enjoy yourself at any dance you want to without her ruining your nite.
Maybe you are the kind of person that simply wants to let her down easy. My suggestion then is to get a really good excuse (read that, white lie) as to why you can't spend as much time with her anymore. Tell her that you are learning to play the guitar or something like that...and that you need to devote 2 to 3 hours a day to practice. Or, learning a foreign language (which is a good thing to do anyways). Or, some other excuse as to why you are limited in your time you can spend with her.
Just look at you watch when you meet her and say, ';Hey, it's great to see you. Yeah. But I hate to do this...gotta cut this short. You see, I have to go home real soon and study my Spanish. I really really want to learn how to speak it so I can take a cruise to Cancun sometime in 2012. But, it's great seeing you again! Bye!';
Talk to her about it all. Well at least try to talk to her about it. It honestly sounds like she needs you right now like you needed her all those years ago.
Whitehouse intern employment application?
i found this online somewhere . lol .
Name: ___________________________________ (Optional) Age: Legal: __ Under: __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Sex: Oral __ Improper __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Position applying for: On top: __ Below: __ Behind: __ Other: __ (Please describe in graphic detail.) ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ Education Level: You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up __ Oral sex is not adultery __ You're still a virgin if he pulls out early __ It's not perjury if it's a civil case __ Less than five women isn't cheating
__ Typing Speed: __ words per minute. __ words per minute using only tongue. Distance can suck a golf ball though a garden hose: 5 feet: __ 10 feet: __ 100 feet: __ Don't need garden hose: __ List other talents that you believe qualify you for a White House position: Above the waist: ______________________________________ Below the waist: ______________________________________ Kama Sutra: Page number(s): ______________________________________ Do you or any of your friends own a tape recorder? No __ Grand jury alert __ Do you keep a diary? No __ Yes __ If yes, do you lie to it? ______________________________________ How would you best describe your reasons for wanting to work for the White House? Serve my country __ Report what is going on to Hillary __ Join the Air Force One
Mile High Club __ Previous Experience: Hugh Hefner: __ Dallas Cowboys: __ Seventh Fleet: __ JFK: __ The Night Stalker __ Reason for leaving previous position? Employer died in ecstasy __ Subpoena __ Death threat from employer's wife __ Boyfriend killed employer __ but it's OK. He still in jail __ References: Gennifer Flowers __ Paula Jones __ Monica Lewinsky __ Janet Reno __ Ted Kennedy __ Ken Starr __ Sam Donaldson __ Where did you hear about this job? Personal ad __ National Enquirer __ New York Times __ Bimbo Eruption Newsletter __ Dick Morris __ James Carville __ (We are not responsible for the hundred dollars he may promised you or your trailer park!) Phone number in bathroom __ Secret Witness Program __
========================================鈥? Employer use only: Slick Wille | Little Wille | 1st ***** Loser __ | Loose lips __ | Bill __ OK __ | Deep Throat __ | Janet __ Oval Office __ | Zip Lock __ | Files __ Willie Room __ | Presidential Seal __ | My Place __ Form 1-98-7354
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HA! Yes, that is a funny one.
Name: ___________________________________ (Optional) Age: Legal: __ Under: __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Sex: Oral __ Improper __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Position applying for: On top: __ Below: __ Behind: __ Other: __ (Please describe in graphic detail.) ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ Education Level: You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up __ Oral sex is not adultery __ You're still a virgin if he pulls out early __ It's not perjury if it's a civil case __ Less than five women isn't cheating
__ Typing Speed: __ words per minute. __ words per minute using only tongue. Distance can suck a golf ball though a garden hose: 5 feet: __ 10 feet: __ 100 feet: __ Don't need garden hose: __ List other talents that you believe qualify you for a White House position: Above the waist: ______________________________________ Below the waist: ______________________________________ Kama Sutra: Page number(s): ______________________________________ Do you or any of your friends own a tape recorder? No __ Grand jury alert __ Do you keep a diary? No __ Yes __ If yes, do you lie to it? ______________________________________ How would you best describe your reasons for wanting to work for the White House? Serve my country __ Report what is going on to Hillary __ Join the Air Force One
Mile High Club __ Previous Experience: Hugh Hefner: __ Dallas Cowboys: __ Seventh Fleet: __ JFK: __ The Night Stalker __ Reason for leaving previous position? Employer died in ecstasy __ Subpoena __ Death threat from employer's wife __ Boyfriend killed employer __ but it's OK. He still in jail __ References: Gennifer Flowers __ Paula Jones __ Monica Lewinsky __ Janet Reno __ Ted Kennedy __ Ken Starr __ Sam Donaldson __ Where did you hear about this job? Personal ad __ National Enquirer __ New York Times __ Bimbo Eruption Newsletter __ Dick Morris __ James Carville __ (We are not responsible for the hundred dollars he may promised you or your trailer park!) Phone number in bathroom __ Secret Witness Program __
========================================鈥? Employer use only: Slick Wille | Little Wille | 1st ***** Loser __ | Loose lips __ | Bill __ OK __ | Deep Throat __ | Janet __ Oval Office __ | Zip Lock __ | Files __ Willie Room __ | Presidential Seal __ | My Place __ Form 1-98-7354
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HA! Yes, that is a funny one.
So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
Qur'an is Allah's words revealed to Muhammad through angel Jibril. This is what Qur'an says.
But since you not yet believe it, let's see logical proofs.
1. Muhammad is illiterate.
He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an. If you do so, it's like accusing your father of giving birth to a child. Impossible.
2. Muhammad never claimed so.
He never claimed that Qur'an is his words. He said those are Allah's words. So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.
If you do so, it's like accusing Barrack Obama as a muslim.
3. Muhammad recites the Qur'an for 22 years.
Whenever new verses are revealed, he immediately memorizes them and instructs the companions either to memorize or write down. Since he recites it, there is no 'editorial process', which means whatever being said cannot be taken back. Imagine the level of consistency that he has to maintain.
With over 600+ pages of verses over such long period, any mistake will be pointed out immediately by non-believers who are always denying him.
4. He didn't get any help.
Since he is the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him. No-one was around him for the whole 22 years to assist him. Qur'an is in perfect Arabic language, so whoever taught him must be of Arabic mother-tongue with excellent knowledge in everything. So no proof of him getting outside help.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
Bible in arabic is non-existent at that time. In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A. In fact the content of Qur'an is obvious opposite with Bible, such as Jesus as God.
Many scientific mistakes in the Bible are not copied over, such as World's creation, Noah Ark, World is Flat etc. If he copied over, how does he know which one is wrong and not to copy?
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.
In fact, whenever someone reads and recite Qur'an, always start with ';I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed';.
A verse in Qur'an:
“Verily, Satan is an enemy to you, so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents, that they may become companions of the Blazing Fire.” (35: 6)
7. He denies money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
In fact, there were several attempts to kill him. When he died, he only had a small house with almost nothing valuable inside, despite being the leader of the country.
Clearly worldly benefits are not his objectives.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
--------------------------------------…
I know there are kids who will curse here, so kids, please behave. I didn't curse your religion / god, whether it is Jesus Christ, YWYH, Buddha, YMCA, Money or Alcohol.So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful,
First of all i would like to appreciate your efforts to convey the message
and you proved that Quran is the word of Allah and not the prophet Muhammad pbuh.I will try to elaborate you the valuable points,so that those viewers of this forum who are either ignorants or arrogants should reconsider their hate against Islam.
1..Allah raised Muhammad pbuh in the middle of the desert of Arabia,who knew nothing what was happining out side Arabia and he traveled out of Makkah with his uncle twice for business trip.
2..Why Allah kept him illitrate,so that nobody could claimed to be his tracher.
3..Muhammad pbuh never saw the oceans,but there are verses about the oceans,from where he got the knowledge?
4..Prophet Muhammad pbuh was the last and final messanger of Allah and the Quran was the final divine book of all divine books and Muslims believe that old and new testements were the divine books of Allah.
5..Christians call mother Marry the mother of their god,but there is no verses or chapter about her,but in Quran there is complete chapter about her life and the birth of Jesus.Who gave the information to Muhammad pbuh about them?
6..The verse about trinity was first mentioned in Quran not in the Bible.
There are other references and the proofs that Quran is the word of Allah,but it is enough for those who have the faith in Lord of the universe.I request my Christians brothers and sisters to open your hearts and study Quran and the life of prophet Muhammad pbuh.One thing more i mention from Quran,it is written about Christians, there are Christian religious people,when you recite verses from Quran their eyes become full of tears.
May Allah bless and guide us to the right path.AameenSo you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
nice to see how bigoted u are. Btw stop telling lies like Madhammad d quran states dat d world is flat, dat d sky is a roof over d earth etc. Also, if Madhammad was illiterate does not mean he was deaf, blind %26amp; dumb as well thus he definitely plagiarized d previous scripture.
Btw, Madhammad was not illiterate as he ran a business. Also, I have read the quran and it is riddled with contradictions. But you can keep living in your fantasy that the quran is accurate.
It seems a lot of these objections are coming from people who have never dictated ten lines to somebody to write. The whole process of compilation of the Quran and its preservation can be appreciated by people who has done something remotely similar. Merely twisting your words confirms their intent.
Salaam Brother.
Beautifully presented :)
Two thumbs way up!
Excellent analysis and good on you.
Hmmmmm...interesting.
Scholars have also proved that a Matthew, Mark, Luke or John never wrote the gospels.
Of course he didn't write the koran, he would have had to have existed first
you got the point, thanks for sharing.
Retarded based on 1 Islamic ordained objection. Muhammed didn't write the Quran because Muhammed was illiterate.
Try again, please.
He also tried to peddle his 'prophecies' to the Jews at first, because they had a long history of God's prophets. They weighed and measured and found him wanting. So much for the pedophile warlord opportunist prophet who would rather kill those who disagreed and criticized him then engage them in discussion along Platonic rules. But then again, what would one expect from a 6th century thief?
some people have amazing memory retention.\
The natives in North and South America had to memorize great tracts of what their chiefs told them, then run to the next settlement to tell it to the other chief. They were Not allowed to get one word wrong. If they did, they were punished/tortured or executed.
Getting words right was important. The life of the tribe depended on it.
aaaah
sorry but i went through the same exact discussion more than thousand times .. muslims keep repeating those so called evidences although many of them were proven wrong .. or at least you can't prove they're 100% true
first .. the whole islamic history were written by muslims themselves .. by founders of the islam and the islamic empire .. so you wont naturally expect they will mention any flaws or mistakes or bad qualities about muhammed or everything he said and done .. they will show him as an angel .. same as communist did whenever they wrote about lenin or somthin ..
how can you prove he was illiterate ? would anyone risk mentioning he wasn't ??
i secerly doubt it
first he used to go and spend alot of time in the cave alone ( ghar heera'a ) ..
no one would ever know what he was doing there .. if he met someone or did something how anyone would know ?
he used to talk alot to warqa bin nawfal , and he was christian ..
he actually got many sources to the bible and torah ..
and hey .. he lived with Ali bin abi taleb for a long time .. for god sake .. Ali was one of the most brilliant indeviduals in language .. i doubt he didnt teach him anything ..
beside .. writing the quraan at that time didnt need any writing skills ..he'd be able to have someone's help to set the basics .. he'd memorize them and say them infront of his folks who'd immediatly right them down ..
the language of quraan isnt so brilliant comparing to arabic language skills at that time .. it was natural for someone like muhammad to be able to be in this level ..
why would muhammed say he wrote it ? which is better to claim that he - a simple human being - wrote it down ? or to say it's gods true word - considering the many times quraan supported muhammed against any one who disagree with him - ?
let's not forget about many historical methologies that were included in quraan and were exactly the same in bible and torah , and finally proven wrong ..
for example .. the whole story of king suleiman and his great empire that was basically based on torah , and recently proven that there were no empire at all ( recent archeology studies .. i can mention many if needed ) ..
let's not forget the many divisions of quraan that were lost ( for example the story aisha told about the goat who ate some of the quraan's pappers when muhammed was dying ) ..
I'm likewise not trying to curse/belittle you or your beliefs, I apologize in advanced if any of what this made me think offends, but I feel an honest answer is important. Here's my take on your points in order:
1: Prove it
2: Just because someone says something doesn't make it true
3: Consistently telling something that may or may not be true does not make it more true.
4: Doing it without help doesn't make it divine.
5: I don't care if its a copy of the Bible or not, either way it needs its own supporting evidence
6: I don't believe in Satan either, unless you prove Satan.
7: Just because someone tried to bribe/kill him to stop practicing Islam does not make Islam fact or divine
8: Probably Mohammad's unless you can provide proof otherwise.
Edit: Well really though, I just don't see how you can know for a fact he was illiterate. I suppose if you could prove that some of the rest would mean more.
Salaam
You have answered your own question.
Allah sent the Angel Jabril to Prophet Muhammad pbuh, to reveal the new revelation and alhamdulillah the prophet memorized all Arabic words and told his close followers to write the very words of Allah (SWT). The Quran was completed in 22 years and the Quran is a book of repeat and a book of signs and warnings. Every muslim who reads it keeps reading it over and over again to remind him/her self, that past civilization such as the people of Nuh, Ad, Thamud, pharaoh etc were destroyed because Satan (Devil) over took them and misled them.
The Prophet and his close companion establish the platform and foundation of Islam. This is called the five Pillar of Islam. Shahada (faith), Salah (pray five times a day), Zakah (helping the needy), Swam (fasting during Ramadan), and Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca).
A muslim must follow the five pillar of Islam and take other responsibilities parallel to please Allah.
Peace my Brother
just confirms it was changed from what he claimed to hear and it was never from God an angel is not God satan was an angel. equal to gabriel.
i really don't understand what your saying or where your coming from email me what it is that you r trying to convey i am interested in knowing more about the qur'an but i am christian
How can you post something riddled with grammar and spelling mistakes like that and have the balls to call someone illiterate?
If you actually read the Qur'an, you'll see that there are a lot of old testament stories in it, and they're just retold with arab names. Have you actually done any research? Or do you get all your information from mass emails?
But since you not yet believe it, let's see logical proofs.
1. Muhammad is illiterate.
He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an. If you do so, it's like accusing your father of giving birth to a child. Impossible.
2. Muhammad never claimed so.
He never claimed that Qur'an is his words. He said those are Allah's words. So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.
If you do so, it's like accusing Barrack Obama as a muslim.
3. Muhammad recites the Qur'an for 22 years.
Whenever new verses are revealed, he immediately memorizes them and instructs the companions either to memorize or write down. Since he recites it, there is no 'editorial process', which means whatever being said cannot be taken back. Imagine the level of consistency that he has to maintain.
With over 600+ pages of verses over such long period, any mistake will be pointed out immediately by non-believers who are always denying him.
4. He didn't get any help.
Since he is the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him. No-one was around him for the whole 22 years to assist him. Qur'an is in perfect Arabic language, so whoever taught him must be of Arabic mother-tongue with excellent knowledge in everything. So no proof of him getting outside help.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
Bible in arabic is non-existent at that time. In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A. In fact the content of Qur'an is obvious opposite with Bible, such as Jesus as God.
Many scientific mistakes in the Bible are not copied over, such as World's creation, Noah Ark, World is Flat etc. If he copied over, how does he know which one is wrong and not to copy?
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.
In fact, whenever someone reads and recite Qur'an, always start with ';I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed';.
A verse in Qur'an:
“Verily, Satan is an enemy to you, so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents, that they may become companions of the Blazing Fire.” (35: 6)
7. He denies money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
In fact, there were several attempts to kill him. When he died, he only had a small house with almost nothing valuable inside, despite being the leader of the country.
Clearly worldly benefits are not his objectives.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
--------------------------------------…
I know there are kids who will curse here, so kids, please behave. I didn't curse your religion / god, whether it is Jesus Christ, YWYH, Buddha, YMCA, Money or Alcohol.So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
In the name of Allah,Most Gracious,Most Merciful,
First of all i would like to appreciate your efforts to convey the message
and you proved that Quran is the word of Allah and not the prophet Muhammad pbuh.I will try to elaborate you the valuable points,so that those viewers of this forum who are either ignorants or arrogants should reconsider their hate against Islam.
1..Allah raised Muhammad pbuh in the middle of the desert of Arabia,who knew nothing what was happining out side Arabia and he traveled out of Makkah with his uncle twice for business trip.
2..Why Allah kept him illitrate,so that nobody could claimed to be his tracher.
3..Muhammad pbuh never saw the oceans,but there are verses about the oceans,from where he got the knowledge?
4..Prophet Muhammad pbuh was the last and final messanger of Allah and the Quran was the final divine book of all divine books and Muslims believe that old and new testements were the divine books of Allah.
5..Christians call mother Marry the mother of their god,but there is no verses or chapter about her,but in Quran there is complete chapter about her life and the birth of Jesus.Who gave the information to Muhammad pbuh about them?
6..The verse about trinity was first mentioned in Quran not in the Bible.
There are other references and the proofs that Quran is the word of Allah,but it is enough for those who have the faith in Lord of the universe.I request my Christians brothers and sisters to open your hearts and study Quran and the life of prophet Muhammad pbuh.One thing more i mention from Quran,it is written about Christians, there are Christian religious people,when you recite verses from Quran their eyes become full of tears.
May Allah bless and guide us to the right path.AameenSo you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
nice to see how bigoted u are. Btw stop telling lies like Madhammad d quran states dat d world is flat, dat d sky is a roof over d earth etc. Also, if Madhammad was illiterate does not mean he was deaf, blind %26amp; dumb as well thus he definitely plagiarized d previous scripture.
Report Abuse
Btw, Madhammad was not illiterate as he ran a business. Also, I have read the quran and it is riddled with contradictions. But you can keep living in your fantasy that the quran is accurate.
Report Abuse
It seems a lot of these objections are coming from people who have never dictated ten lines to somebody to write. The whole process of compilation of the Quran and its preservation can be appreciated by people who has done something remotely similar. Merely twisting your words confirms their intent.
Report Abuse
Salaam Brother.
Beautifully presented :)
Two thumbs way up!
Excellent analysis and good on you.
Hmmmmm...interesting.
Scholars have also proved that a Matthew, Mark, Luke or John never wrote the gospels.
Of course he didn't write the koran, he would have had to have existed first
you got the point, thanks for sharing.
Retarded based on 1 Islamic ordained objection. Muhammed didn't write the Quran because Muhammed was illiterate.
Try again, please.
He also tried to peddle his 'prophecies' to the Jews at first, because they had a long history of God's prophets. They weighed and measured and found him wanting. So much for the pedophile warlord opportunist prophet who would rather kill those who disagreed and criticized him then engage them in discussion along Platonic rules. But then again, what would one expect from a 6th century thief?
some people have amazing memory retention.\
The natives in North and South America had to memorize great tracts of what their chiefs told them, then run to the next settlement to tell it to the other chief. They were Not allowed to get one word wrong. If they did, they were punished/tortured or executed.
Getting words right was important. The life of the tribe depended on it.
aaaah
sorry but i went through the same exact discussion more than thousand times .. muslims keep repeating those so called evidences although many of them were proven wrong .. or at least you can't prove they're 100% true
first .. the whole islamic history were written by muslims themselves .. by founders of the islam and the islamic empire .. so you wont naturally expect they will mention any flaws or mistakes or bad qualities about muhammed or everything he said and done .. they will show him as an angel .. same as communist did whenever they wrote about lenin or somthin ..
how can you prove he was illiterate ? would anyone risk mentioning he wasn't ??
i secerly doubt it
first he used to go and spend alot of time in the cave alone ( ghar heera'a ) ..
no one would ever know what he was doing there .. if he met someone or did something how anyone would know ?
he used to talk alot to warqa bin nawfal , and he was christian ..
he actually got many sources to the bible and torah ..
and hey .. he lived with Ali bin abi taleb for a long time .. for god sake .. Ali was one of the most brilliant indeviduals in language .. i doubt he didnt teach him anything ..
beside .. writing the quraan at that time didnt need any writing skills ..he'd be able to have someone's help to set the basics .. he'd memorize them and say them infront of his folks who'd immediatly right them down ..
the language of quraan isnt so brilliant comparing to arabic language skills at that time .. it was natural for someone like muhammad to be able to be in this level ..
why would muhammed say he wrote it ? which is better to claim that he - a simple human being - wrote it down ? or to say it's gods true word - considering the many times quraan supported muhammed against any one who disagree with him - ?
let's not forget about many historical methologies that were included in quraan and were exactly the same in bible and torah , and finally proven wrong ..
for example .. the whole story of king suleiman and his great empire that was basically based on torah , and recently proven that there were no empire at all ( recent archeology studies .. i can mention many if needed ) ..
let's not forget the many divisions of quraan that were lost ( for example the story aisha told about the goat who ate some of the quraan's pappers when muhammed was dying ) ..
I'm likewise not trying to curse/belittle you or your beliefs, I apologize in advanced if any of what this made me think offends, but I feel an honest answer is important. Here's my take on your points in order:
1: Prove it
2: Just because someone says something doesn't make it true
3: Consistently telling something that may or may not be true does not make it more true.
4: Doing it without help doesn't make it divine.
5: I don't care if its a copy of the Bible or not, either way it needs its own supporting evidence
6: I don't believe in Satan either, unless you prove Satan.
7: Just because someone tried to bribe/kill him to stop practicing Islam does not make Islam fact or divine
8: Probably Mohammad's unless you can provide proof otherwise.
Edit: Well really though, I just don't see how you can know for a fact he was illiterate. I suppose if you could prove that some of the rest would mean more.
Salaam
You have answered your own question.
Allah sent the Angel Jabril to Prophet Muhammad pbuh, to reveal the new revelation and alhamdulillah the prophet memorized all Arabic words and told his close followers to write the very words of Allah (SWT). The Quran was completed in 22 years and the Quran is a book of repeat and a book of signs and warnings. Every muslim who reads it keeps reading it over and over again to remind him/her self, that past civilization such as the people of Nuh, Ad, Thamud, pharaoh etc were destroyed because Satan (Devil) over took them and misled them.
The Prophet and his close companion establish the platform and foundation of Islam. This is called the five Pillar of Islam. Shahada (faith), Salah (pray five times a day), Zakah (helping the needy), Swam (fasting during Ramadan), and Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca).
A muslim must follow the five pillar of Islam and take other responsibilities parallel to please Allah.
Peace my Brother
just confirms it was changed from what he claimed to hear and it was never from God an angel is not God satan was an angel. equal to gabriel.
i really don't understand what your saying or where your coming from email me what it is that you r trying to convey i am interested in knowing more about the qur'an but i am christian
How can you post something riddled with grammar and spelling mistakes like that and have the balls to call someone illiterate?
If you actually read the Qur'an, you'll see that there are a lot of old testament stories in it, and they're just retold with arab names. Have you actually done any research? Or do you get all your information from mass emails?
Ramadan: What do you think of this nice saying of Prophet Muhamad?
Beautiful sayings for you to pass down.
Parents
Heaven lieth at the feet of mothers.
God's pleasure is in a father's pleasure; and God's displeasure is in a father's displeasure.
He who wisheth to enter Paradise at the best door must please his father and mother.
A man is bound to do good to his parents, although they may have injured him.
There is no child, a doer of good to his parents, who looketh on them with kindness and affection, but God will grant with every look the rewards for an approved pilgrimage.
---------------------------
Muhammad The Prophet
I am no more than man; when I order you anything respecting religion, receive it; and when I order you anything about the affairs of the world, then I am nothing more than man.
Convey to other persons none of my words, except those ye know of a surety.
'Aishah said, ';A party of Jews asked permission to go to Muhammad, and said, 'Death upon you.' And I answered their insult by saying, 'Rather upon you be death and curse.' Then Muhammad said, 'Be mild O Aishah! and make a point of being kind, and withold thyself from speaking harshly.' I said, 'Did you not hear what they said?' He said, 'Verily, I do always say,' ';Be the same to you.';'
Verily my heart is veiled with melancholy and sadness for my followers; and verily I ask pardon of God one hundred times daily.
Zaid, Muhammad's servant, said, ';I served Lord Muhammad ten years, and he never said 'Uff,' to me; and never said, 'Why did you do so?' and never said, 'Why did you not do so?'';
--------------
Adultery
When a man committeth adultery, Iman (Faith) leaveth him; but when he leaveth such evil ways, Iman wil return to him.
The adultery of the eye is to look with desire on the wife of another; and the adultery of the tongue is to utter what is forbidden.
Ye followers of Muhammad, I swear of God, there is not anything which God so abhors, as adultery.
Every eye is an adulterer; and every woman perfumeth herself, and goeth to an assembly where men are, wishing to show herself to them, with a look of lasciviousness, is an adultress.
-----------------------
Forgiveness
Thus saith the Lord, ';Verily those who are patient in adversity and forgive wrongs, are the doers of excellence.';
Once Muhammad was asked, ';O Apostle of God!'; How many times are we to forgive our servant's faults?'; He was silent. Again the questioner asked, and Muhammad gave no answer. But when the man asked a third time, he said, ';Forgive your servants seventy times day.';
There is no man who woundeth and pardoneth the giver of the wound but God will exalt his dignity and dimish his faults.
That man is nearest to God, who pardoneth, when he had in his power him who would have injured him.
Do not say, that if the people do good to us, we will do good to them; and if the people oppress us, we will oppress them; but determine that if people do you good, you will do good to them; and if they oppress you, you will not oppress them.Ramadan: What do you think of this nice saying of Prophet Muhamad?
Assalamualaikum
MashaAllah, may Allah reward you for sharing knowledge with us
And Allah knows best
May Allah provide us with guidance
Salaam
Parents
Heaven lieth at the feet of mothers.
God's pleasure is in a father's pleasure; and God's displeasure is in a father's displeasure.
He who wisheth to enter Paradise at the best door must please his father and mother.
A man is bound to do good to his parents, although they may have injured him.
There is no child, a doer of good to his parents, who looketh on them with kindness and affection, but God will grant with every look the rewards for an approved pilgrimage.
---------------------------
Muhammad The Prophet
I am no more than man; when I order you anything respecting religion, receive it; and when I order you anything about the affairs of the world, then I am nothing more than man.
Convey to other persons none of my words, except those ye know of a surety.
'Aishah said, ';A party of Jews asked permission to go to Muhammad, and said, 'Death upon you.' And I answered their insult by saying, 'Rather upon you be death and curse.' Then Muhammad said, 'Be mild O Aishah! and make a point of being kind, and withold thyself from speaking harshly.' I said, 'Did you not hear what they said?' He said, 'Verily, I do always say,' ';Be the same to you.';'
Verily my heart is veiled with melancholy and sadness for my followers; and verily I ask pardon of God one hundred times daily.
Zaid, Muhammad's servant, said, ';I served Lord Muhammad ten years, and he never said 'Uff,' to me; and never said, 'Why did you do so?' and never said, 'Why did you not do so?'';
--------------
Adultery
When a man committeth adultery, Iman (Faith) leaveth him; but when he leaveth such evil ways, Iman wil return to him.
The adultery of the eye is to look with desire on the wife of another; and the adultery of the tongue is to utter what is forbidden.
Ye followers of Muhammad, I swear of God, there is not anything which God so abhors, as adultery.
Every eye is an adulterer; and every woman perfumeth herself, and goeth to an assembly where men are, wishing to show herself to them, with a look of lasciviousness, is an adultress.
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Forgiveness
Thus saith the Lord, ';Verily those who are patient in adversity and forgive wrongs, are the doers of excellence.';
Once Muhammad was asked, ';O Apostle of God!'; How many times are we to forgive our servant's faults?'; He was silent. Again the questioner asked, and Muhammad gave no answer. But when the man asked a third time, he said, ';Forgive your servants seventy times day.';
There is no man who woundeth and pardoneth the giver of the wound but God will exalt his dignity and dimish his faults.
That man is nearest to God, who pardoneth, when he had in his power him who would have injured him.
Do not say, that if the people do good to us, we will do good to them; and if the people oppress us, we will oppress them; but determine that if people do you good, you will do good to them; and if they oppress you, you will not oppress them.Ramadan: What do you think of this nice saying of Prophet Muhamad?
Assalamualaikum
MashaAllah, may Allah reward you for sharing knowledge with us
And Allah knows best
May Allah provide us with guidance
Salaam
Does any1 luv this poem as much as i do?
Auguries of Innocence
To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.
A dove-house fill'd with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell thro' all its regions.
A dog starv'd at his master's gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.
A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.
A skylark wounded in the wing,
A cherubim does cease to sing.
The game-**** clipt and arm'd for fight
Does the rising sun affright.
Every wolf's and lion's howl
Raises from hell a human soul.
The wild deer, wand'ring here and there,
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misus'd breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher's knife.
The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won't believe.
The owl that calls upon the night
Speaks the unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be belov'd by men.
He who the ox to wrath has mov'd
Shall never be by woman lov'd.
The wanton boy that kills the fly
Shall feel the spider's enmity.
He who torments the chafer's sprite
Weaves a bower in endless night.
The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother's grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the last judgement draweth nigh.
He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar's dog and widow's cat,
Feed them and thou wilt grow fat.
The gnat that sings his summer's song
Poison gets from slander's tongue.
The poison of the snake and newt
Is the sweat of envy's foot.
The poison of the honey bee
Is the artist's jealousy.
The prince's robes and beggar's rags
Are toadstools on the miser's bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so;
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro' the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The babe is more than swaddling bands;
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;
This is caught by females bright,
And return'd to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar,
Are waves that beat on heaven's shore.
The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes revenge in realms of death.
The beggar's rags, fluttering in air,
Does to rags the heavens tear.
The soldier, arm'd with sword and gun,
Palsied strikes the summer's sun.
The poor man's farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Afric's shore.
One mite wrung from the lab'rer's hands
Shall buy and sell the miser's lands;
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole nation sell and buy.
He who mocks the infant's faith
Shall be mock'd in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the infant's faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child's toys and the old man's reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.
The questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.
The strongest poison ever known
Came from Caesar's laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour's iron brace.
When gold and gems adorn the plow,
To peaceful arts shall envy bow.
A riddle, or the cricket's cry,
Is to doubt a fit reply.
The emmet's inch and eagle's mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you please.
If the sun and moon should doubt,
They'd immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.
The whore and gambler, by the state
Licensed, build that nation's fate.
The harlot's cry from street to street
Shall weave old England's winding-sheet.
The winner's shout, the loser's curse,
Dance before dead England's hearse.
Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born,
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
We are led to believe a lie
When we see not thro' the eye,
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.
God appears, and God is light,
To those poor souls who dwell in night;
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.Does any1 luv this poem as much as i do?
This is one of my favorite William Blake poems.
He really has a way of putting reality right in your face, and making you adore every bit of its presence. I get swept away in awe after reading this; and every time I do, I find something new to cherish.Does any1 luv this poem as much as i do?
i have a problem with rhyming poetry. in most instances it really doesn't appeal to me... sorry
I Loved every last word.
The longer it became the more I wanted it to carry on. Thank you for sharing.
This is a nice if rather long poem. I like the pace, the use of rhyme, and its message.
A poem like this to me is like a seven-course Chinese dinner, full of exotic flavors that need to be patiently attacked in due course, consumed carefully, and digested respectfully. Unlike the fast-food meal, it will be remembered and savored long afterward.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
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