Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject turned to sex. ';You know, John %26amp; I have been having some sexual problems.'; Linda told her friend.
';That's amazing!'; Mary replied, ';So have Tom and I.';
';We're thinking of going to a sex therapist.'; said Linda
';Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!'; responded Mary. ';But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?';
Several weeks passed and they met for lunch again. ';So, how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?';
';Things couldn't be better!';, Linda exclaimed. ';We began with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it's better than it's ever been!';
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist. After the physical exams were completed the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office. ';I'm afraid there is nothing I can do for you,'; he said.
';But doctor,'; Mary complained, ';You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can't you give us some help? Any help at all?';
';Well, OK,'; the doctor answered. ';On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios…….';Therapy joke. Star?
lol nice thats really goodTherapy joke. Star?
hahaha...there's something new lol
hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
funny as hell hahahahahaha lol
Actually made me laugh out loud! Fantastic joke! = )
Haaaaa Haaaa Haaaaa That is so funny I haven't laughed that hard in a few days. Thanks so much !
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
deffinatlyy deserves a starrr
Ha! Funny! 10!
that's funny lol
Funny joke.
Oh my hahahaha
lmao
that was funny
Friday, November 12, 2010
That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
Long story, please read and let me know who you think was at fault:
Last night, girl really wanted to go to the park at the school behind our house. so when girl asked during dinner, it took me a minute to decide what to do. She of course began berating me about it, so I told her, ';Maybe we can go to the park after dinner. I'll think about it.'; It was shortly thereafter that I realized my daughter is a manipulative genius.
The dinner conversation after that,went from talk about the daily grind at work, to who was doing baths and who was doing dishes, to what the kids needed for day-care tomorrow. This week is recycleables week at day-care, so each day the kids need to bring in a different item to recycle by turning it into some art project. Today, they needed to bring in a newspaper. We don't generally read newspapers, so we didn't have any. Wife and I were discussing who/when we would go get a newspaper. Would I run to the store while wife gave the kids baths? Maybe wife would take the kids to the park, and while they were there, I could go get the paper?
There 4 year old girl began her silver-tongued control of the conversation. She started with misdirection. She started asking a million questions, initially rehashing what had already been discussed. ';Daddy, are you going to get the paper?'; ';When are you going?'; ';Miss Colleen has extra stuff so when kids forget, she has stuff for them.'; ';The other day, Marissa didn't have a milk jug, so Miss Colleen gave her one.'; Then, after a brief pause, when our minds were already reeling from the information overload, she blurted out, ';When Mommy takes us to the park, could you just go to the store and get a newspaper then?';
It's subtle, but notice how she took the ';maybe'; that I gave her in the beginning, and matter-of-factly turned it into a definite, when she said ';when';. She also ended the statement with a yes or no question. She was like a lawyer at trial, asking a presumably innocent question, but partnering it with an assumption that she was trying to make everyone else believe. If I had answered ';yes'; that I could do that, I would also have been answering ';yes'; to going to the park. Amazed, I carefully answered, ';We'll see.';
Unfazed, she smoothly, flawlessly shifted her offensive to wife, again relying heavily on the misdirection.
';Mommy took us to the park last time, right Mommy.';
';Uh-huh,'; Wife replied pushing around some food on her plate.
';Remember we played on the swings?';
';Yup,'; Wife replied not looking up from her plate.
';So can we do that again tonight?'
';Uh-huh.';
I was AMAZED. Girl had just pulled the old trick/joke:
';What do you put on your pillow?';
';Head.';
';What do you sleep on at night?';
';Bed.';
';What do you take out of a toaster?';
';Bread.';
';No, toast, silly!';
On hearing Wife's last ';uh-uh';, daughter lit up. She started babbling, all excited. Wife still wasn't quite listening. I called to her, ';woman鈥oman!'; to kind of snap her out of it. She did, and I had to explain to her that she just agreed to take the kids to the park. She quickly corrected daughter, and informed her that she had not realized what she had said.
This is what I think: Adults can get away with giving ambiguous answers like ';maybe'; then follow up with conversation as to what that maybe would be, gettingthe kid's hopes high (it's a 4 year old we are talking about) then turn around and blame the kid for assuming you would do what you said you MAY do. Which I think it's pretty cruel
Not only that, the mom did say yes and then wen't back on her word saying ';she wasn't paying attention'; if you crashed your car and you excuse was that ';you weren't paying attention'; how would that fly?
I think the kid did learn a lesson here and it was not to get her hopes high and not to trust adults.That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
Kids are good at manipulation. I also believe that when they hear 'maybe' they process it as 'yes'. I try not to give a maybe answer. I try to give a yes or a no, so that there's no arguments later.That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
You've got yourself a future litigator on your hands. Start saving up for Law school now.
Haha damn smart kid i think she got the best of ya ';mom'; don't feel bad i think its a good thing for a kid to show a bit of manipulation it will help him/her in the Future ya know when life stabs you in the back and you got to chest your way to the top. im only 16 life has not done that to me yet but i am expecting it to hehe
My daughter surprised me one day. She asked if we could get some treat or other when we went shopping. I said ';We'll see.'; She replied ';That always means no.'; Kids are smarter than we give them credit for being.
I have since explained to her that I don't always know if I can honour her requests. I don't want to say no, and disappoint her, and I don't want to say yes, and find out I can't, and then disappoint her, and also be branded as a liar. We'll see means exactly that.
I think your girl's parents need to listen when she is talking. The parents were at fault.
Also, buying a newspaper just so your child can take it for a craft project seems to defeat the purpose of recycling, don't ya think!
I did read the entire thing....I have dealt with kids just like that while babysitting, and all I can say is that you need to (kind of) break their spirit at times (not their spirit as in their happiness...just their willingness to manipulate. You need to nip it in the bud). For your daughter's sake, be more firm with her and remind her who the parent is, or it will become a life-long thing. You are here to mold her into an accepting person. She needs to be more accepting and less manipulative or life is going to suck for her- but you have plenty of time to change this behavior because she is so young. Good luck, I'm sure she will be fine!
It sounds like your daughter is destined to be a lawyer and make her mommy proud.
Last night, girl really wanted to go to the park at the school behind our house. so when girl asked during dinner, it took me a minute to decide what to do. She of course began berating me about it, so I told her, ';Maybe we can go to the park after dinner. I'll think about it.'; It was shortly thereafter that I realized my daughter is a manipulative genius.
The dinner conversation after that,went from talk about the daily grind at work, to who was doing baths and who was doing dishes, to what the kids needed for day-care tomorrow. This week is recycleables week at day-care, so each day the kids need to bring in a different item to recycle by turning it into some art project. Today, they needed to bring in a newspaper. We don't generally read newspapers, so we didn't have any. Wife and I were discussing who/when we would go get a newspaper. Would I run to the store while wife gave the kids baths? Maybe wife would take the kids to the park, and while they were there, I could go get the paper?
There 4 year old girl began her silver-tongued control of the conversation. She started with misdirection. She started asking a million questions, initially rehashing what had already been discussed. ';Daddy, are you going to get the paper?'; ';When are you going?'; ';Miss Colleen has extra stuff so when kids forget, she has stuff for them.'; ';The other day, Marissa didn't have a milk jug, so Miss Colleen gave her one.'; Then, after a brief pause, when our minds were already reeling from the information overload, she blurted out, ';When Mommy takes us to the park, could you just go to the store and get a newspaper then?';
It's subtle, but notice how she took the ';maybe'; that I gave her in the beginning, and matter-of-factly turned it into a definite, when she said ';when';. She also ended the statement with a yes or no question. She was like a lawyer at trial, asking a presumably innocent question, but partnering it with an assumption that she was trying to make everyone else believe. If I had answered ';yes'; that I could do that, I would also have been answering ';yes'; to going to the park. Amazed, I carefully answered, ';We'll see.';
Unfazed, she smoothly, flawlessly shifted her offensive to wife, again relying heavily on the misdirection.
';Mommy took us to the park last time, right Mommy.';
';Uh-huh,'; Wife replied pushing around some food on her plate.
';Remember we played on the swings?';
';Yup,'; Wife replied not looking up from her plate.
';So can we do that again tonight?'
';Uh-huh.';
I was AMAZED. Girl had just pulled the old trick/joke:
';What do you put on your pillow?';
';Head.';
';What do you sleep on at night?';
';Bed.';
';What do you take out of a toaster?';
';Bread.';
';No, toast, silly!';
On hearing Wife's last ';uh-uh';, daughter lit up. She started babbling, all excited. Wife still wasn't quite listening. I called to her, ';woman鈥oman!'; to kind of snap her out of it. She did, and I had to explain to her that she just agreed to take the kids to the park. She quickly corrected daughter, and informed her that she had not realized what she had said.
This is what I think: Adults can get away with giving ambiguous answers like ';maybe'; then follow up with conversation as to what that maybe would be, gettingthe kid's hopes high (it's a 4 year old we are talking about) then turn around and blame the kid for assuming you would do what you said you MAY do. Which I think it's pretty cruel
Not only that, the mom did say yes and then wen't back on her word saying ';she wasn't paying attention'; if you crashed your car and you excuse was that ';you weren't paying attention'; how would that fly?
I think the kid did learn a lesson here and it was not to get her hopes high and not to trust adults.That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
Kids are good at manipulation. I also believe that when they hear 'maybe' they process it as 'yes'. I try not to give a maybe answer. I try to give a yes or a no, so that there's no arguments later.That 4 year old girl manipulated me!?
You've got yourself a future litigator on your hands. Start saving up for Law school now.
Haha damn smart kid i think she got the best of ya ';mom'; don't feel bad i think its a good thing for a kid to show a bit of manipulation it will help him/her in the Future ya know when life stabs you in the back and you got to chest your way to the top. im only 16 life has not done that to me yet but i am expecting it to hehe
My daughter surprised me one day. She asked if we could get some treat or other when we went shopping. I said ';We'll see.'; She replied ';That always means no.'; Kids are smarter than we give them credit for being.
I have since explained to her that I don't always know if I can honour her requests. I don't want to say no, and disappoint her, and I don't want to say yes, and find out I can't, and then disappoint her, and also be branded as a liar. We'll see means exactly that.
I think your girl's parents need to listen when she is talking. The parents were at fault.
Also, buying a newspaper just so your child can take it for a craft project seems to defeat the purpose of recycling, don't ya think!
I did read the entire thing....I have dealt with kids just like that while babysitting, and all I can say is that you need to (kind of) break their spirit at times (not their spirit as in their happiness...just their willingness to manipulate. You need to nip it in the bud). For your daughter's sake, be more firm with her and remind her who the parent is, or it will become a life-long thing. You are here to mold her into an accepting person. She needs to be more accepting and less manipulative or life is going to suck for her- but you have plenty of time to change this behavior because she is so young. Good luck, I'm sure she will be fine!
It sounds like your daughter is destined to be a lawyer and make her mommy proud.
How do you think of this weird story I wrote?
The leader ducked his head behind the giant rock as the wild pig cantered by. His companions crouched behind him watching vehemently at their prey. When the pig got further away, the leader pointed at the pig with his crooked finger and muttered an order. 鈥楩ollow that pig and don鈥檛 let it notice us鈥? His companions nodded in response and rose up. They tiptoed in silence behind the bushes as they kept up with their prey. When they almost reached the beast, the pig suddenly sense the grating sounds of the dead leaves. It groaned and fastened its pace. The leader again gathered the hunters to his side and said, 鈥楽urround it from the front and when it turns back, dig your spears into its flesh.鈥?
The hunters began running toward the pig creating loud crunching sounds as they yelled to each other. The pig scrambled as it turned in all directions. But before it could go any further, the hunters were already in front of it blocking its way. It shrieked and leaped backward. The hunters who were blocking the back lunged forward and stuck their spears into the creature's furry flesh. The pig screamed miserably and tried to break away from an un-guarded corner but before it could, another spear ran through its neck. The pig collapse without another breath and died. Blood streamed out from the wounded parts sprinkling the ground with red. Blood stains on the hunters鈥?spears were also leaking onto their feet. The leader drew forward and examined the pig, assuring if the pig was completely dead. 鈥楴ow, let us go back,鈥?the leader said in a relief tongue of voice and ordered the men to tie the pig feet up with the ropes. After that, they carried the dead body back toward their village. Blood was spaying all over the forest paths during the way back until the pig body was completely drained. Children and women were gathering around the pig as the hunters lay them on a nearby stone when they got back. They were exhausted and fatigue after hunting such a large animal. Sweat soaked their entire body which forces them to have to wash themselves. Women were assembling the food while the men were hanging the pig on top of the fire. Children were dressed up in fashionable dark clothes dancing and chanting around the fields with raucous and bulky instruments banging against the stones creating neat tunes and rhythms. 鈥極oh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la鈥︹€?鈥?br>
Suggestions please???? I just wrote this story for fun because i'm so bored. I'm only a 14 years old baby so please be tolerant with my terrible organization.How do you think of this weird story I wrote?
If your only 14, then I would say your doing well for your age. To make this story better, the best thing I can suggest is to try and tell this same story with only half the words. Believe me, you can do it. This is the fastest way you can improve your grammar.
Have you ever looked at a professionally written book and just sat and examined the grammar and punctuation? I used to do that when I was a kid.
The hunters began running toward the pig creating loud crunching sounds as they yelled to each other. The pig scrambled as it turned in all directions. But before it could go any further, the hunters were already in front of it blocking its way. It shrieked and leaped backward. The hunters who were blocking the back lunged forward and stuck their spears into the creature's furry flesh. The pig screamed miserably and tried to break away from an un-guarded corner but before it could, another spear ran through its neck. The pig collapse without another breath and died. Blood streamed out from the wounded parts sprinkling the ground with red. Blood stains on the hunters鈥?spears were also leaking onto their feet. The leader drew forward and examined the pig, assuring if the pig was completely dead. 鈥楴ow, let us go back,鈥?the leader said in a relief tongue of voice and ordered the men to tie the pig feet up with the ropes. After that, they carried the dead body back toward their village. Blood was spaying all over the forest paths during the way back until the pig body was completely drained. Children and women were gathering around the pig as the hunters lay them on a nearby stone when they got back. They were exhausted and fatigue after hunting such a large animal. Sweat soaked their entire body which forces them to have to wash themselves. Women were assembling the food while the men were hanging the pig on top of the fire. Children were dressed up in fashionable dark clothes dancing and chanting around the fields with raucous and bulky instruments banging against the stones creating neat tunes and rhythms. 鈥極oh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la鈥︹€?鈥?br>
Suggestions please???? I just wrote this story for fun because i'm so bored. I'm only a 14 years old baby so please be tolerant with my terrible organization.How do you think of this weird story I wrote?
If your only 14, then I would say your doing well for your age. To make this story better, the best thing I can suggest is to try and tell this same story with only half the words. Believe me, you can do it. This is the fastest way you can improve your grammar.
Have you ever looked at a professionally written book and just sat and examined the grammar and punctuation? I used to do that when I was a kid.
Part 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
3. She tells me I’ve never tried talking to her over the past few days or that week… Here is how the conversation goes:
*Knock on door* *No reply* *Knock again* *Her mum answers*
Me: HEY Mel! Is Theresa home?
Her Mum: Theresa John’s home!
*Theresa on computer vigorously trying to close programs*? No need to explain what was being closed.
Her: HEY BABY!!!
ME: Hey baby! *Feeling sad, Frowning* Why didn’t you open the door for me?
Her: Uhhh *EVIL EYES!! AHH!* I was busy doing homework so don’t bother me! F/K! I’m sorry! Ill open the door for you next time gosh… if was such a big deal…
*I cut her off*
Me: *Giving her the WTF face tilting my head* I said why you couldn’t open the door… B*tch?! *hand signs* You don’t know me! Ima full tym gangsta! For shizzle…. now if that offended you… ummm word?
IM KIDDING! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! GOSH…. Read on ?
Me: *Giving her the WTF Face tilting my head* I said baby, why couldn’t you open the door? Now if that offended you… ummm you being serious?
Her: *DEMON POSSESED!* Can you just F/K OFF!?... Just LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!
Me: *Squinting my eyes* Right… I’ll be in the room if you need any help with homework.
Ok, there it is, a small conversation, but readers please understand that she wasn’t always like this. Week prior to this, she was so lovey-dovey so to speak. She would run to the door like a little fairy prancing around and open the door, jumping into my arms, holding me, kissing me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. Oh and just to make sure I get it out there, yes we were sexually active and I didn’t have a problem getting her to a climax, and no I don’t have a small d*ck and my tongue could get her to climax in a matter of minutes… Eww right? Just letting you know that it was problems in bed that lead to this “CHEATING”
4. Need I say more?... You probably would of stop reading by now zzzzZZZzZz! NO! FIGHT IT! READ ON SOLDIER! I NEED YOUR HELP! Honestly if you need more reasons just uhh I don’t know message me? Anyways!
I need help in pointing me in the right direction. But it F/ kills me to know the truth. I am rotting away. Feel so detached from life now. I feel so lifeless. It pains my heart and soul, everything to do with me aches. In a way I wanted to know all this information. Sorry, but please read this. PLEASE understand why I need you to. I need help. Ok I got to admit that I am the violent type of guy and don’t jump into conclusions! I DON’T HIT WOMEN! In fact! She is the abusive one believe it or not! I’m from a Pacific-Islander background so I was taught to respect women. Yes I know when growing up with sisters in the family they would get annoying and I would pinch them or smack them, but that’s ok… cause when dad got home… I was a dead man… and they had the last laugh. Ok anyways, like I was saying I get violent, buy only when my feelings are crushed and played with but other then that call me the peaceful giant. Back to the story, she says violence doesn’t solve anything. But what could she possibly know about how I’m feeling? The emotional struggle I have to face for the past few days. Honestly I want to smash the sh*t out of this person, this so called guy who changed everything. I’m out for blood. Violence solves things for me. I can’t stand around and do nothing about it. She tells me that everything will be ok, nothing to worry about. I love you so much and I was a fool, it was a mistake, I will never do it again. Then she promises me about 1342543654876 (YES I COUNTED! GOSH) different promises in convincing me to stay. Its ok for her, she can say that loud and proud. Her reward is getting me back and in return what do I get? More heart ache, more struggles to forgive. I’M OUT FOR BLOOD. But I find it so difficult to do nothing about it. This guy has tormented my life. His impact on my relationship is so devastating; it’s bringing my life to ruins. I can’t just sit around twiddle my thumbs and relax. But I have to force myself. It’s so hard. It’s so F/ hard. It literally brings me to tears. I can’t face the fact that it was a silly mistake, she tells me over and over and over and over *8 years later* and over and over and over! You get the picture, She says it was a mistake. But I know too much. I took people’s advice when I wanted to investigate; they told that I should just find out why she did it. The more I unearthed, the harder it became to bare. I just need help in trying to work things out with her. If you could send me an email or anything please to help, do so Contact? Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com or just search me up on www.Facebook.com with the Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com and add me.
I am desperately searching for help, from anyone. Now I am begging you to help me. I am not sure if taking her back was the right decision or should I just leave. I am completely, well... was completely in love with her and trying to overcome my problems and love her completely, please understand that its so hardPart 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
I lost you at the part
';She tells me I’ve never tried talking to her over the past few days or that week… Here is how the conversation goes:
*Knock on door* *No reply* *Knock again* *Her mum answers*
Me: HEY Mel! Is Theresa home?
Her Mum: Theresa John’s home!
*Theresa on computer vigorously trying to close programs*? No need to explain what was being closed.
Her: HEY BABY!!!
ME: Hey baby! *Feeling sad, Frowning* Why didn’t you open the door for me?
Her: Uhhh *EVIL EYES!! AHH!* I was busy doing homework so don’t bother me! F/K! I’m sorry! Ill open the door for you next time gosh… if was such a big deal…
*I cut her off*
Me: *Giving her the WTF face tilting my head* I said why you couldn’t open the door… B*tch?! *hand signs* You don’t know me! Ima full tym gangsta! For shizzle…. now if that offended you… ummm word?
IM KIDDING! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! GOSH…. Read on ?
Me: *Giving her the WTF Face tilting my head* I said baby, why couldn’t you open the door? Now if that offended you… ummm you being serious?
Her: *DEMON POSSESED!* Can you just F/K OFF!?... Just LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!
Me: *Squinting my eyes* Right… I’ll be in the room if you need any help with homework.
Ok, there it is, a small conversation, but readers please understand that she wasn’t always like this. Week prior to this, she was so lovey-dovey so to speak. She would run to the door like a little fairy prancing around and open the door, jumping into my arms, holding me, kissing me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. Oh and just to make sure I get it out there, yes we were sexually active and I didn’t have a problem getting her to a climax, and no I don’t have a small d*ck and my tongue could get her to climax in a matter of minutes… Eww right? Just letting you know that it was problems in bed that lead to this “CHEATING”
4. Need I say more?... You probably would of stop reading by now zzzzZZZzZz! NO! FIGHT IT! READ ON SOLDIER! I NEED YOUR HELP! Honestly if you need more reasons just uhh I don’t know message me? Anyways!
I need help in pointing me in the right direction. But it F/ kills me to know the truth. I am rotting away. Feel so detached from life now. I feel so lifeless. It pains my heart and soul, everything to do with me aches. In a way I wanted to know all this information. Sorry, but please read this. PLEASE understand why I need you to. I need help. Ok I got to admit that I am the violent type of guy and don’t jump into conclusions! I DON’T HIT WOMEN! In fact! She is the abusive one believe it or not! I’m from a Pacific-Islander background so I was taught to respect women. Yes I know when growing up with sisters in the family they would get annoying and I would pinch them or smack them, but that’s ok… cause when dad got home… I was a dead man… and they had the last laugh. Ok anyways, like I was saying I get violent, buy only when my feelings are crushed and played with but other then that call me the peaceful giant. Back to the story, she says violence doesn’t solve anything. But what could she possibly know about how I’m feeling? The emotional struggle I have to face for the past few days. Honestly I want to smash the sh*t out of this person, this so called guy who changed everything. I’m out for blood. Violence solves things for me. I can’t stand around and do nothing about it. She tells me that everything will be ok, nothing to worry about. I love you so much and I was a fool, it was a mistake, I will never do it again. Then she promises me about 1342543654876 (YES I COUNTED! GOSH) different promises in convincing me to stay. Its ok for her, she can say that loud and proud. Her reward is getting me back and in return what do I get? More heart ache, more struggles to forgive. I’M OUT FOR BLOOD. But I find it so difficult to do nothing about it. This guy has tormented my life. His impact on my relationship is so devastating; it’s bringing my life to ruins. I can’t just sit around twiddle my thumbs and relax. But I have to force myself. It’s so hard. It’s so F/ hard. It literally brings me to tears. I can’t face the fact that it was a silly mistake, she tells me over and over and over and over *8 years later* and over and over and over! You get the picture, She says it was a mistake. But I know too much. I took people’s advice when I wanted to investigate; they told that I should just find out why she did it. The more I unearthed, the harder it became to bare. I just need help in trying to work things out with her. If you could send me an email or anything please to help, do so Contact? Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com or just search me up on www.Facebook.com with the Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com and add me.
I am desperately searching for help, from anyone. Now I am begging you to help me. I am not sure if taking her back was the right decision or should I just leave. I am completely, well... was completely in love with her and trying to overcome my problems and love her completely, please unPart 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
Dump her.... I'm just sayin!
*Knock on door* *No reply* *Knock again* *Her mum answers*
Me: HEY Mel! Is Theresa home?
Her Mum: Theresa John’s home!
*Theresa on computer vigorously trying to close programs*? No need to explain what was being closed.
Her: HEY BABY!!!
ME: Hey baby! *Feeling sad, Frowning* Why didn’t you open the door for me?
Her: Uhhh *EVIL EYES!! AHH!* I was busy doing homework so don’t bother me! F/K! I’m sorry! Ill open the door for you next time gosh… if was such a big deal…
*I cut her off*
Me: *Giving her the WTF face tilting my head* I said why you couldn’t open the door… B*tch?! *hand signs* You don’t know me! Ima full tym gangsta! For shizzle…. now if that offended you… ummm word?
IM KIDDING! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! GOSH…. Read on ?
Me: *Giving her the WTF Face tilting my head* I said baby, why couldn’t you open the door? Now if that offended you… ummm you being serious?
Her: *DEMON POSSESED!* Can you just F/K OFF!?... Just LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!
Me: *Squinting my eyes* Right… I’ll be in the room if you need any help with homework.
Ok, there it is, a small conversation, but readers please understand that she wasn’t always like this. Week prior to this, she was so lovey-dovey so to speak. She would run to the door like a little fairy prancing around and open the door, jumping into my arms, holding me, kissing me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. Oh and just to make sure I get it out there, yes we were sexually active and I didn’t have a problem getting her to a climax, and no I don’t have a small d*ck and my tongue could get her to climax in a matter of minutes… Eww right? Just letting you know that it was problems in bed that lead to this “CHEATING”
4. Need I say more?... You probably would of stop reading by now zzzzZZZzZz! NO! FIGHT IT! READ ON SOLDIER! I NEED YOUR HELP! Honestly if you need more reasons just uhh I don’t know message me? Anyways!
I need help in pointing me in the right direction. But it F/ kills me to know the truth. I am rotting away. Feel so detached from life now. I feel so lifeless. It pains my heart and soul, everything to do with me aches. In a way I wanted to know all this information. Sorry, but please read this. PLEASE understand why I need you to. I need help. Ok I got to admit that I am the violent type of guy and don’t jump into conclusions! I DON’T HIT WOMEN! In fact! She is the abusive one believe it or not! I’m from a Pacific-Islander background so I was taught to respect women. Yes I know when growing up with sisters in the family they would get annoying and I would pinch them or smack them, but that’s ok… cause when dad got home… I was a dead man… and they had the last laugh. Ok anyways, like I was saying I get violent, buy only when my feelings are crushed and played with but other then that call me the peaceful giant. Back to the story, she says violence doesn’t solve anything. But what could she possibly know about how I’m feeling? The emotional struggle I have to face for the past few days. Honestly I want to smash the sh*t out of this person, this so called guy who changed everything. I’m out for blood. Violence solves things for me. I can’t stand around and do nothing about it. She tells me that everything will be ok, nothing to worry about. I love you so much and I was a fool, it was a mistake, I will never do it again. Then she promises me about 1342543654876 (YES I COUNTED! GOSH) different promises in convincing me to stay. Its ok for her, she can say that loud and proud. Her reward is getting me back and in return what do I get? More heart ache, more struggles to forgive. I’M OUT FOR BLOOD. But I find it so difficult to do nothing about it. This guy has tormented my life. His impact on my relationship is so devastating; it’s bringing my life to ruins. I can’t just sit around twiddle my thumbs and relax. But I have to force myself. It’s so hard. It’s so F/ hard. It literally brings me to tears. I can’t face the fact that it was a silly mistake, she tells me over and over and over and over *8 years later* and over and over and over! You get the picture, She says it was a mistake. But I know too much. I took people’s advice when I wanted to investigate; they told that I should just find out why she did it. The more I unearthed, the harder it became to bare. I just need help in trying to work things out with her. If you could send me an email or anything please to help, do so Contact? Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com or just search me up on www.Facebook.com with the Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com and add me.
I am desperately searching for help, from anyone. Now I am begging you to help me. I am not sure if taking her back was the right decision or should I just leave. I am completely, well... was completely in love with her and trying to overcome my problems and love her completely, please understand that its so hardPart 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
I lost you at the part
';She tells me I’ve never tried talking to her over the past few days or that week… Here is how the conversation goes:
*Knock on door* *No reply* *Knock again* *Her mum answers*
Me: HEY Mel! Is Theresa home?
Her Mum: Theresa John’s home!
*Theresa on computer vigorously trying to close programs*? No need to explain what was being closed.
Her: HEY BABY!!!
ME: Hey baby! *Feeling sad, Frowning* Why didn’t you open the door for me?
Her: Uhhh *EVIL EYES!! AHH!* I was busy doing homework so don’t bother me! F/K! I’m sorry! Ill open the door for you next time gosh… if was such a big deal…
*I cut her off*
Me: *Giving her the WTF face tilting my head* I said why you couldn’t open the door… B*tch?! *hand signs* You don’t know me! Ima full tym gangsta! For shizzle…. now if that offended you… ummm word?
IM KIDDING! I DIDN’T SAY THAT! GOSH…. Read on ?
Me: *Giving her the WTF Face tilting my head* I said baby, why couldn’t you open the door? Now if that offended you… ummm you being serious?
Her: *DEMON POSSESED!* Can you just F/K OFF!?... Just LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!
Me: *Squinting my eyes* Right… I’ll be in the room if you need any help with homework.
Ok, there it is, a small conversation, but readers please understand that she wasn’t always like this. Week prior to this, she was so lovey-dovey so to speak. She would run to the door like a little fairy prancing around and open the door, jumping into my arms, holding me, kissing me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. Oh and just to make sure I get it out there, yes we were sexually active and I didn’t have a problem getting her to a climax, and no I don’t have a small d*ck and my tongue could get her to climax in a matter of minutes… Eww right? Just letting you know that it was problems in bed that lead to this “CHEATING”
4. Need I say more?... You probably would of stop reading by now zzzzZZZzZz! NO! FIGHT IT! READ ON SOLDIER! I NEED YOUR HELP! Honestly if you need more reasons just uhh I don’t know message me? Anyways!
I need help in pointing me in the right direction. But it F/ kills me to know the truth. I am rotting away. Feel so detached from life now. I feel so lifeless. It pains my heart and soul, everything to do with me aches. In a way I wanted to know all this information. Sorry, but please read this. PLEASE understand why I need you to. I need help. Ok I got to admit that I am the violent type of guy and don’t jump into conclusions! I DON’T HIT WOMEN! In fact! She is the abusive one believe it or not! I’m from a Pacific-Islander background so I was taught to respect women. Yes I know when growing up with sisters in the family they would get annoying and I would pinch them or smack them, but that’s ok… cause when dad got home… I was a dead man… and they had the last laugh. Ok anyways, like I was saying I get violent, buy only when my feelings are crushed and played with but other then that call me the peaceful giant. Back to the story, she says violence doesn’t solve anything. But what could she possibly know about how I’m feeling? The emotional struggle I have to face for the past few days. Honestly I want to smash the sh*t out of this person, this so called guy who changed everything. I’m out for blood. Violence solves things for me. I can’t stand around and do nothing about it. She tells me that everything will be ok, nothing to worry about. I love you so much and I was a fool, it was a mistake, I will never do it again. Then she promises me about 1342543654876 (YES I COUNTED! GOSH) different promises in convincing me to stay. Its ok for her, she can say that loud and proud. Her reward is getting me back and in return what do I get? More heart ache, more struggles to forgive. I’M OUT FOR BLOOD. But I find it so difficult to do nothing about it. This guy has tormented my life. His impact on my relationship is so devastating; it’s bringing my life to ruins. I can’t just sit around twiddle my thumbs and relax. But I have to force myself. It’s so hard. It’s so F/ hard. It literally brings me to tears. I can’t face the fact that it was a silly mistake, she tells me over and over and over and over *8 years later* and over and over and over! You get the picture, She says it was a mistake. But I know too much. I took people’s advice when I wanted to investigate; they told that I should just find out why she did it. The more I unearthed, the harder it became to bare. I just need help in trying to work things out with her. If you could send me an email or anything please to help, do so Contact? Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com or just search me up on www.Facebook.com with the Made_In_Tonga@hotmail.com and add me.
I am desperately searching for help, from anyone. Now I am begging you to help me. I am not sure if taking her back was the right decision or should I just leave. I am completely, well... was completely in love with her and trying to overcome my problems and love her completely, please unPart 2 - My Girlfriend Was Kissing... But it wasn't ME! Longs Story!?
Dump her.... I'm just sayin!
Sexy Therapy?
Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject turned to sex.
';You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems'; Linda told her friend.
That's amazing!'; Mary replied, ';So have Tom and I. We're thinking of going to a sex therapist'; said Linda.
';Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!'; responded Mary. ';But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?';
Several weeks passed and they met for lunch again. ';So, how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?';
';Things couldn't be better!';, Linda exclaimed. ';We began with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it's better than it's ever been!';
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist. After the physical exams were completed the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office. ';I'm afraid there is nothing I can do for you,'; he said.
But doctor,'; Mary complained, ';You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can't you give us some help? Any help at all?';
';Well, OK,'; the doctor answered ';On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios...';Sexy Therapy?
That was so funny! and maybe a good sexy therapy too, me and my Hubby will try that when he come home.Sexy Therapy?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hahahahahaha that's a good one!
Haaa. I love it!! Thanks.
That's cute :)
Great joke!
OH MY!!! too funny
good one......
LOL that's funny!!
Pretty good.....reminds me of the Doctor who says to his patient,';I'm sorry I can't help you with your problem of premature ejaculation, but I can put you in touch with a woman with a very short attention span.';
hahhahahha that was hillarious
That was funny! Hehehehe. :]
LOL
that's funny
He he thats funny and more sexiest guuess i was Lindas Husband where she put the donuts* in my penis and the grapes on her vergin* and then i get the grape frm my tongue*** off her virgin****
Sounds interesting ..................lol
Hmmmmmmmmm......I like that very much
lol OMG funny!
good one....bananas n pineapples.....
the therapy change with patient
ha ha hao lol!!!!!!! really funny
Ooouu!! Mercy! LOL. LOL.
';You know, John and I have been having some sexual problems'; Linda told her friend.
That's amazing!'; Mary replied, ';So have Tom and I. We're thinking of going to a sex therapist'; said Linda.
';Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!'; responded Mary. ';But after you go, will you please tell me how it went?';
Several weeks passed and they met for lunch again. ';So, how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?';
';Things couldn't be better!';, Linda exclaimed. ';We began with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex life is wonderful, in fact it's better than it's ever been!';
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an appointment with the same sex therapist. After the physical exams were completed the doctor called Mary and Tom into his office. ';I'm afraid there is nothing I can do for you,'; he said.
But doctor,'; Mary complained, ';You did such good for Linda and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please, please, can't you give us some help? Any help at all?';
';Well, OK,'; the doctor answered ';On your way home, I want you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples and a box of Cheerios...';Sexy Therapy?
That was so funny! and maybe a good sexy therapy too, me and my Hubby will try that when he come home.Sexy Therapy?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hahahahahaha that's a good one!
Haaa. I love it!! Thanks.
That's cute :)
Great joke!
OH MY!!! too funny
good one......
LOL that's funny!!
Pretty good.....reminds me of the Doctor who says to his patient,';I'm sorry I can't help you with your problem of premature ejaculation, but I can put you in touch with a woman with a very short attention span.';
hahhahahha that was hillarious
That was funny! Hehehehe. :]
LOL
that's funny
He he thats funny and more sexiest guuess i was Lindas Husband where she put the donuts* in my penis and the grapes on her vergin* and then i get the grape frm my tongue*** off her virgin****
Sounds interesting ..................lol
Hmmmmmmmmm......I like that very much
lol OMG funny!
good one....bananas n pineapples.....
the therapy change with patient
ha ha hao lol!!!!!!! really funny
Ooouu!! Mercy! LOL. LOL.
Do we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Asalaam alykum wa ramatollhi wa barakatuhu,
unlike a big sin like fornicating..gossiping takes no thought beforehand, it can just slip out of our mouthes without us thinking..it is so easy to do...Astaghfirullah
I post this so you are aware of how it wipes out ALL our good deeds in an instant - it's a bit long, but please read, very beneficial [and a reminder to some that we should stop talking badly (no matter what they've done) about our brothers and sisters in real life and on Y!A..a reminder directed 2 myself first before anyone else
--------------------------------------…
--------------------------------------…
Rasoolullah said, “A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hell-Fire further than the distance between the east and west” (narrated by Bukhari and Muslim).
In Islam, we are prohibited from gossiping about someone behind their back if it is something disliked to that person. You may ask, what if we are speaking the truth? If one is speaking the truth about someone behind their back, then this is backbiting and it is dispicable. If one is speaking falsehood about someone behind their back, then this is slander, something even worse.
Kab al-Ahbar said: “Backbiting nullifies a person’s good deeds.”
Not only is backbiting considered a sin in Islam, but it is considered a major sin by the consensus of scholars considering the implications mentioned about in the Quran and Sunnah. The Quranic verses dealing with backbiting include:
1.“O you who believe! Let not some men among you deride others who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is a bad name after faith.” (Surat Hujurat, 49:11)
2.“O you who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor that. And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful.” (Surat Hujurat, 49:12)
3.“Neither obey thou each feeble oath-monger; detractor, going about with slander.” (Surat Qalam, 68:10-11)
4.“Woe to every sneering defamer.” (Surat Humaza, 104:1)
Sneering can be considered defamation by actions (instead of words). Sneering can include actions as small as even rolling one’s eyes. Furthermore, Surat Humaza (The Transducer) is dedicated to answering those that gossip about others. Therefore, as Muslims, it is a duty incumbent upon us to safeguard our mouths from saying anything we would regret later on.
Muadh ibn Jabal (ra) asked Rasoolullah (SAW) to inform him of some good work that would admit him into
Paradise and distance him from the Hell-Fire. Rasoolullah (SAW) mentioned to him the virtues of many good deeds, then said: “Shall I inform you of the foundation of all of that?”
Muadh said: “Certainly.”
Rasoolullah (SAW) took hold of his own tongue and said: “Restrain yourself from this.”
Muadh then asked: “O Rasoolullah! Are we held to task for the things that we say?”
Rasoolullah (SAW) replied: “May your mother be bereaved of you, O Muadh! Does anything topple people headlong into the Hell-Fire save the harvests of their tongues?” (narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)
Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “One of the greatest of the major sins is to stretch out one’s tongue without right against the honor of a Muslim” (narrated by Abu Dawud).
Aisha (ra) relates that she said to Rasoolullah (SAW), “It should tell you enough about Safiyyah that she is short.”
To this Rasoolullah (SAW) replied, “You have said a word that if it was to be mixed with the water of the sea, it would contaminate it” (narrated by Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud).
The hadith above shows the seriousness of backbiting. The one sentence Aisha mentioned about Safiyyah was serious enough to contaminate something as large as the ocean. Therefore, we should consider how much we have contaminated our small ponds of good deeds versus the oceans of good deeds the Sahaba had obtained.
Two Companions once criticized a man who had been punished for committing adultery.
Rasoolullah (SAW) was traveling and he passed by the carcass of a donkey.
Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “Where are those two people? Get down and eat from the flesh of this donkey!”
They said, “O Rasoolullah, who would eat this?”
Rasoolullah (SAW) said: “What the two of you have recently done by defaming the honor of your brother is far worse than eating from this” (narrated by Abu Dawud).
The punishment for backbiting includes repaying those who we backbite.
Rasoolullah (SAW) asked the Sahaba, “Do you know who is bankrupt?”
They responded, “The person among us who is bankrupt is the one who possesses neither money nor provision.”
Rasoolullah (SAW) answered, “The one who is bankrupt from among my followers isDo we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Wa Alaikum Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
Yes gossip is horrible and something we should all avoid, yet it is so easy to fall into. Not only is it a sin but it is hurtful to those involved.
If you have time here is a short video(only 56 seconds) but shows what backbitting is like in a litteral sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RchDgZfu2…
The Arabic in the video is this ayah
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting) . And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. 49:12
Yeah Allah keep us away from such fitnah. Ameen
And Allah knows bestDo we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Jazak Allah Khair for sharing :) It was nice of you to share, and I hope that all the Muslims here take heed before they are sorry.
Take Care.
Jajakallah kahir sister,
I kw...... backbiting is Haram.
But, MasAllah, u explained a lot hereeeeeeee....
May Allah keep all of us away from all kinds of sin......
Allah Hafizzz
Kul Innal Fadla Be Yadillahi. Utihi Myasaw. Oallahu Oasiun Alimun Yaktacu Birahmatihi Myasaw Oallahu Jul Fadlil Azeem.
you must be a man, because men don't understand the value of gossip
unlike a big sin like fornicating..gossiping takes no thought beforehand, it can just slip out of our mouthes without us thinking..it is so easy to do...Astaghfirullah
I post this so you are aware of how it wipes out ALL our good deeds in an instant - it's a bit long, but please read, very beneficial [and a reminder to some that we should stop talking badly (no matter what they've done) about our brothers and sisters in real life and on Y!A..a reminder directed 2 myself first before anyone else
--------------------------------------…
--------------------------------------…
Rasoolullah said, “A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hell-Fire further than the distance between the east and west” (narrated by Bukhari and Muslim).
In Islam, we are prohibited from gossiping about someone behind their back if it is something disliked to that person. You may ask, what if we are speaking the truth? If one is speaking the truth about someone behind their back, then this is backbiting and it is dispicable. If one is speaking falsehood about someone behind their back, then this is slander, something even worse.
Kab al-Ahbar said: “Backbiting nullifies a person’s good deeds.”
Not only is backbiting considered a sin in Islam, but it is considered a major sin by the consensus of scholars considering the implications mentioned about in the Quran and Sunnah. The Quranic verses dealing with backbiting include:
1.“O you who believe! Let not some men among you deride others who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is a bad name after faith.” (Surat Hujurat, 49:11)
2.“O you who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor that. And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful.” (Surat Hujurat, 49:12)
3.“Neither obey thou each feeble oath-monger; detractor, going about with slander.” (Surat Qalam, 68:10-11)
4.“Woe to every sneering defamer.” (Surat Humaza, 104:1)
Sneering can be considered defamation by actions (instead of words). Sneering can include actions as small as even rolling one’s eyes. Furthermore, Surat Humaza (The Transducer) is dedicated to answering those that gossip about others. Therefore, as Muslims, it is a duty incumbent upon us to safeguard our mouths from saying anything we would regret later on.
Muadh ibn Jabal (ra) asked Rasoolullah (SAW) to inform him of some good work that would admit him into
Paradise and distance him from the Hell-Fire. Rasoolullah (SAW) mentioned to him the virtues of many good deeds, then said: “Shall I inform you of the foundation of all of that?”
Muadh said: “Certainly.”
Rasoolullah (SAW) took hold of his own tongue and said: “Restrain yourself from this.”
Muadh then asked: “O Rasoolullah! Are we held to task for the things that we say?”
Rasoolullah (SAW) replied: “May your mother be bereaved of you, O Muadh! Does anything topple people headlong into the Hell-Fire save the harvests of their tongues?” (narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)
Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “One of the greatest of the major sins is to stretch out one’s tongue without right against the honor of a Muslim” (narrated by Abu Dawud).
Aisha (ra) relates that she said to Rasoolullah (SAW), “It should tell you enough about Safiyyah that she is short.”
To this Rasoolullah (SAW) replied, “You have said a word that if it was to be mixed with the water of the sea, it would contaminate it” (narrated by Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud).
The hadith above shows the seriousness of backbiting. The one sentence Aisha mentioned about Safiyyah was serious enough to contaminate something as large as the ocean. Therefore, we should consider how much we have contaminated our small ponds of good deeds versus the oceans of good deeds the Sahaba had obtained.
Two Companions once criticized a man who had been punished for committing adultery.
Rasoolullah (SAW) was traveling and he passed by the carcass of a donkey.
Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “Where are those two people? Get down and eat from the flesh of this donkey!”
They said, “O Rasoolullah, who would eat this?”
Rasoolullah (SAW) said: “What the two of you have recently done by defaming the honor of your brother is far worse than eating from this” (narrated by Abu Dawud).
The punishment for backbiting includes repaying those who we backbite.
Rasoolullah (SAW) asked the Sahaba, “Do you know who is bankrupt?”
They responded, “The person among us who is bankrupt is the one who possesses neither money nor provision.”
Rasoolullah (SAW) answered, “The one who is bankrupt from among my followers isDo we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Wa Alaikum Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh
Yes gossip is horrible and something we should all avoid, yet it is so easy to fall into. Not only is it a sin but it is hurtful to those involved.
If you have time here is a short video(only 56 seconds) but shows what backbitting is like in a litteral sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RchDgZfu2…
The Arabic in the video is this ayah
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting) . And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. 49:12
Yeah Allah keep us away from such fitnah. Ameen
And Allah knows bestDo we realize the severity of our sin when we GOSSIP?
Jazak Allah Khair for sharing :) It was nice of you to share, and I hope that all the Muslims here take heed before they are sorry.
Take Care.
Jajakallah kahir sister,
I kw...... backbiting is Haram.
But, MasAllah, u explained a lot hereeeeeeee....
May Allah keep all of us away from all kinds of sin......
Allah Hafizzz
Kul Innal Fadla Be Yadillahi. Utihi Myasaw. Oallahu Oasiun Alimun Yaktacu Birahmatihi Myasaw Oallahu Jul Fadlil Azeem.
you must be a man, because men don't understand the value of gossip
So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
Qur'an is Allah's words revealed to Muhammad through angel Jibril. This is what Qur'an claims.
So that's the proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an.
But since you don't yet believe it, let's have this analyzed.
1. Muhammad was illiterate.
He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an.
If you do so, it's like accusing your father gave birth to a child. Impossible.
2. Muhammad never claimed so.
He never claimed that Qur'an is his words. He said those are Allah's words.
So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.
If you do so, it's like accusing Barrack Obama as a muslim, despite his clear denial.
3. Muhammad recited the Qur'an for 22 years.
Whenever new verses are revealed, he immediately memorized them and instructed the companions either to memorize or write down. Since he recited it, there is no 'editorial process', which means whatever being said cannot be taken back. Imagine the level of consistency that he had to maintain. With over 600+ pages of verses over such long period, any mistake will be pointed out immediately by non-believers who are always denying him.
4. He didn't get any help.
Since he was the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him. No-one was around him for the whole 22 years to assist him. Qur'an is in perfect Arabic language, so whoever taught him must be of Arabic mother-tongue with excellent knowledge in everything. So no proof of him getting outside help. Furthermore, nobody raised hand and claim the verse are theirs.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
Bible in arabic is non-existent at that time. In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A. In fact the content of Qur'an is obvious opposite with Bible, such as Jesus as God. Many scientific mistakes in the Bible were not copied over, such as World's creation, Noah Ark, World is Flat etc. If he copied over, how did he know which one is wrong and not to copy?
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.
In fact, whenever someone reads and recite Qur'an, always start with ';I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed';. A verse in Qur'an:
“Verily, Satan is an enemy to you, so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents, that they may become companions of the Blazing Fire.” (35: 6)
7. He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
In fact, there were several attempts to kill him. When he died, he only had a small house with almost nothing valuable inside, despite being the leader of the country. Clearly worldly benefits are not his objectives.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
I know there are kids who will curse here, so kids, please behave. I didn't curse your religion / god, whether it is Jesus Christ, YWYH, Buddha, YMCA, Money or Alcohol.So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
The day-to-day life of the Prophet was an open book for all to see. In fact a revelation came asking people to give the Prophet (pbuh) privacy in his own home. If the Prophet had been meeting people who told him what to say as a revelation from God, this would not have been hidden for very long.
The extremely prominent Quraish nobles who followed the Prophet and accepted Islam were wise and intelligent men who would have easily noticed anything suspicious about the way in which the Prophet brought the revelations to them - more so since the Prophetic mission lasted 23 years.
The enemies of the Prophet kept a close watch on him in order to find proof for their claim that he was a liar - they could not point out even a single instance when the Prophet may have had a secret rendezvous with particular Jews and Christians.
It is inconceivable that any human author of the Qur’an would have accepted a situation in which he received no credit whatsoever for originating the Qur’an.
Thus, historically and logically it cannot be established that there was a human source for the Qur’an.
Is it not true that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has copied the Qur’an from the Bible?
http://www.ilovezakirnaik.com/misconcept…So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
They still point it out today..and still you wont listen.
Do you have any evidence for any of these claims?
Do you know what evidence is?
Every muslim will clearly tell you:
A) Muhammad was illiterate and got other dudes to write the Quran.
B) That Gabriel did recite all of the Quran to Muhammad.
C) And finally that regardless how many people it has been through, its still somehow magically accurate.
Muslims don't argue that Muhammad didn't write the Quran.
thanks for sharing. i thought i had read the same articles as you did.
with love and grace to Allah
I know he didn't it was written long after he died
salam, brother.
any sensible person would believe in allah if he read this....
but these people are not....so wont even try to understand...
I'll just tell you this, if it's in ';perfect Arabic'; why are there several different interpretations? It seems that Arabs have some difficulty understanding these words.
And yes, it contains plenty of reworked stories from the bible and the Jewish Apocrypha. And some of those were fables, which the Koran dutifully copied.
um, evidence?
Excuse me please, Has anybody here said Prophet Mohommed himself wrote Koran ? There is some one here who says so and argues too that he did not. He is said to be an ignorant moron who could not write anything.
Lol! We are all aware Muhamamd was dead when the Quran was put together..so obviously he did not physically pen the Quran...that doesnt prove the Quran is not his words...then again what does it matter who penned the Quran? The Quran disagrees with the word of God.
No dear, I don't have that much interest in bronze age middle eastern goat or camel herders fairy tales.
OK, so what is it that you're trying to say?
1. Muhammad was illiterate.
2.He never claimed that Qur'an was his words.
3. Muhammad recited the Qur'an for 22 years.
OK, thus far. So, where's the dispute?
4. He didn't get any help.
You might want to do some research before you say this. He had scribes write it for him. Please Google ';Abdullah ibn Sa`d Ibn Abi Sarh'; who was one of Mohammad's scribes [meaning he had more, by the way] who attained a bit of fame which is going to affect the rest of your claims, now.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
There's a difference between copying and plagiarizing that you might want to look up.
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about Satan, nothing good.
So, what's the big deal? I even has a ridiculous story about Allah making Adam 90 feet tall and telling the Angels to bow before him and that Satan got banished for not bowing to him. Then, it says that Satan got Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, where Adam didn't recognize the guy he got banished?
You really shouldn't have gone there.
7. He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
Huh?
';....to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.';?!?!
Are you sure you know what you are saying?
Anyways, the very first premise is itself wrong because the share of his booty was quite a lot and is detailed in the Sahih Bukhari, the Sahih Muslim, the Kitaab al Thimidhi and the Kitaab wal sijaasa.
So, what are you trying to say here?
OK, the hadiths also say that all the people there used to go to an open field to pee and crap, which just means that they didn't know how to build a toilet, but nothing much else.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
You might want to go back to your English Language classes, too, among other things.
Anyways, the Koran is made up of the concoctions of Mohammad, written for him by his scribes, of which he approved 7 versions, four of which were preferred - the Qalun, the Warsh, the Hafs and the al Dhuri; each with two different renditions [riyaatein] and was later edited by the Caliph Uthman after his death.
So, where is your Unique, Unedited and in one language Koran?
In your dreams.
Because the versions are for the dialects of Arabic, primarily. And the riyaatein are to account for the differences of individual idiom. so, out goes your claim of one language.
Caliph Uthman edited the Koran and burned all the other copies he could. So, out goes your claim of Unchanged and Unique.
So, what else is left?
Oh, by the way, I'm an Adult.
the facts are
A) Muhammad was illiterate and got other dudes to write the Quran.
B) That Gabriel did recite all of the Quran to Muhammad.
C) The quran contains all the lies ,hatred and fictional stories just like the bible..
http://www.thedeenshow.com/show.php?acti…
Yes, I know all of this but it is not proof of the existence of god. Clearly they are the words of Muhammad.
';He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an.';
The Qur'an was an oral tradition for the first hundred years before it was written down. That does not prove Mohammad didn't come up with it off the top of his head, all it proves is that he didn't actually write it down on a piece of paper. Whoop-de-doo, you've proved diddly.
';So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.';
So if a killer says he never killed anyone, you can't accuse him of doing so? Sorry, that argument makes no sense at all.
';Imagine the level of consistency that he had to maintain.';
Look up ';abrogation';. I dare you.
';Since he was the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him.';
Sorry, but that argument doesn't even work on the most basic level. Unless you're claiming that he was all alone for the entire time, never talking to anyone else (which would be a lie), your argument simply falls apart.
';In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A.';
Once again, unless you're claiming that he was all alone (and we know he wasn't, and we also know he hung out with a lot of Jews at the beginning of his prophetic ';career';), your argument doesn't work.
';The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.';
So? Where is this ';satan';? Who is this ';satan';?
What exactly are you trying to prove here?
';He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.';
Of course, he got plenty of all of the above by ';teaching'; Islam, so he didn't really need it.
';So who's words the Qur'an is?';
That would be Mohammad's. At least, you have done nothing to demonstrate that that isn't the case.
Muhammad received the bits and pieces of the puzzle (several verses of the AlQuran), one at a time over 22 years and put these verses in the designated place as soon as he received it (and never to juggle/sifted or move around) to form the final Quran as we find today.Subhanallah.
In short,he did wonders no man had done. No wonder his followers are growing inspite of the cruelty, lies and slanders the Muslims are facing.
So that's the proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an.
But since you don't yet believe it, let's have this analyzed.
1. Muhammad was illiterate.
He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an.
If you do so, it's like accusing your father gave birth to a child. Impossible.
2. Muhammad never claimed so.
He never claimed that Qur'an is his words. He said those are Allah's words.
So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.
If you do so, it's like accusing Barrack Obama as a muslim, despite his clear denial.
3. Muhammad recited the Qur'an for 22 years.
Whenever new verses are revealed, he immediately memorized them and instructed the companions either to memorize or write down. Since he recited it, there is no 'editorial process', which means whatever being said cannot be taken back. Imagine the level of consistency that he had to maintain. With over 600+ pages of verses over such long period, any mistake will be pointed out immediately by non-believers who are always denying him.
4. He didn't get any help.
Since he was the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him. No-one was around him for the whole 22 years to assist him. Qur'an is in perfect Arabic language, so whoever taught him must be of Arabic mother-tongue with excellent knowledge in everything. So no proof of him getting outside help. Furthermore, nobody raised hand and claim the verse are theirs.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
Bible in arabic is non-existent at that time. In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A. In fact the content of Qur'an is obvious opposite with Bible, such as Jesus as God. Many scientific mistakes in the Bible were not copied over, such as World's creation, Noah Ark, World is Flat etc. If he copied over, how did he know which one is wrong and not to copy?
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.
In fact, whenever someone reads and recite Qur'an, always start with ';I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed';. A verse in Qur'an:
“Verily, Satan is an enemy to you, so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents, that they may become companions of the Blazing Fire.” (35: 6)
7. He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
In fact, there were several attempts to kill him. When he died, he only had a small house with almost nothing valuable inside, despite being the leader of the country. Clearly worldly benefits are not his objectives.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
I know there are kids who will curse here, so kids, please behave. I didn't curse your religion / god, whether it is Jesus Christ, YWYH, Buddha, YMCA, Money or Alcohol.So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
The day-to-day life of the Prophet was an open book for all to see. In fact a revelation came asking people to give the Prophet (pbuh) privacy in his own home. If the Prophet had been meeting people who told him what to say as a revelation from God, this would not have been hidden for very long.
The extremely prominent Quraish nobles who followed the Prophet and accepted Islam were wise and intelligent men who would have easily noticed anything suspicious about the way in which the Prophet brought the revelations to them - more so since the Prophetic mission lasted 23 years.
The enemies of the Prophet kept a close watch on him in order to find proof for their claim that he was a liar - they could not point out even a single instance when the Prophet may have had a secret rendezvous with particular Jews and Christians.
It is inconceivable that any human author of the Qur’an would have accepted a situation in which he received no credit whatsoever for originating the Qur’an.
Thus, historically and logically it cannot be established that there was a human source for the Qur’an.
Is it not true that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has copied the Qur’an from the Bible?
http://www.ilovezakirnaik.com/misconcept…So you want proof that Muhammad didn't write the Qur'an?
They still point it out today..and still you wont listen.
Report Abuse
Do you have any evidence for any of these claims?
Do you know what evidence is?
Every muslim will clearly tell you:
A) Muhammad was illiterate and got other dudes to write the Quran.
B) That Gabriel did recite all of the Quran to Muhammad.
C) And finally that regardless how many people it has been through, its still somehow magically accurate.
Muslims don't argue that Muhammad didn't write the Quran.
thanks for sharing. i thought i had read the same articles as you did.
with love and grace to Allah
I know he didn't it was written long after he died
salam, brother.
any sensible person would believe in allah if he read this....
but these people are not....so wont even try to understand...
I'll just tell you this, if it's in ';perfect Arabic'; why are there several different interpretations? It seems that Arabs have some difficulty understanding these words.
And yes, it contains plenty of reworked stories from the bible and the Jewish Apocrypha. And some of those were fables, which the Koran dutifully copied.
um, evidence?
Excuse me please, Has anybody here said Prophet Mohommed himself wrote Koran ? There is some one here who says so and argues too that he did not. He is said to be an ignorant moron who could not write anything.
Lol! We are all aware Muhamamd was dead when the Quran was put together..so obviously he did not physically pen the Quran...that doesnt prove the Quran is not his words...then again what does it matter who penned the Quran? The Quran disagrees with the word of God.
No dear, I don't have that much interest in bronze age middle eastern goat or camel herders fairy tales.
OK, so what is it that you're trying to say?
1. Muhammad was illiterate.
2.He never claimed that Qur'an was his words.
3. Muhammad recited the Qur'an for 22 years.
OK, thus far. So, where's the dispute?
4. He didn't get any help.
You might want to do some research before you say this. He had scribes write it for him. Please Google ';Abdullah ibn Sa`d Ibn Abi Sarh'; who was one of Mohammad's scribes [meaning he had more, by the way] who attained a bit of fame which is going to affect the rest of your claims, now.
5. No, he didn't copy from Bible nor Torah.
There's a difference between copying and plagiarizing that you might want to look up.
6. The Qur'an says everything bad about Satan, nothing good.
So, what's the big deal? I even has a ridiculous story about Allah making Adam 90 feet tall and telling the Angels to bow before him and that Satan got banished for not bowing to him. Then, it says that Satan got Adam and Eve to eat the fruit, where Adam didn't recognize the guy he got banished?
You really shouldn't have gone there.
7. He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.
Huh?
';....to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.';?!?!
Are you sure you know what you are saying?
Anyways, the very first premise is itself wrong because the share of his booty was quite a lot and is detailed in the Sahih Bukhari, the Sahih Muslim, the Kitaab al Thimidhi and the Kitaab wal sijaasa.
So, what are you trying to say here?
OK, the hadiths also say that all the people there used to go to an open field to pee and crap, which just means that they didn't know how to build a toilet, but nothing much else.
8. So who's words the Qur'an is?
You might want to go back to your English Language classes, too, among other things.
Anyways, the Koran is made up of the concoctions of Mohammad, written for him by his scribes, of which he approved 7 versions, four of which were preferred - the Qalun, the Warsh, the Hafs and the al Dhuri; each with two different renditions [riyaatein] and was later edited by the Caliph Uthman after his death.
So, where is your Unique, Unedited and in one language Koran?
In your dreams.
Because the versions are for the dialects of Arabic, primarily. And the riyaatein are to account for the differences of individual idiom. so, out goes your claim of one language.
Caliph Uthman edited the Koran and burned all the other copies he could. So, out goes your claim of Unchanged and Unique.
So, what else is left?
Oh, by the way, I'm an Adult.
the facts are
A) Muhammad was illiterate and got other dudes to write the Quran.
B) That Gabriel did recite all of the Quran to Muhammad.
C) The quran contains all the lies ,hatred and fictional stories just like the bible..
http://www.thedeenshow.com/show.php?acti…
Yes, I know all of this but it is not proof of the existence of god. Clearly they are the words of Muhammad.
';He cannot read nor write, therefore no one can accuse him of being the writer of Qur'an.';
The Qur'an was an oral tradition for the first hundred years before it was written down. That does not prove Mohammad didn't come up with it off the top of his head, all it proves is that he didn't actually write it down on a piece of paper. Whoop-de-doo, you've proved diddly.
';So you can't accuse something that a person claims never did.';
So if a killer says he never killed anyone, you can't accuse him of doing so? Sorry, that argument makes no sense at all.
';Imagine the level of consistency that he had to maintain.';
Look up ';abrogation';. I dare you.
';Since he was the first Muslim, then nobody was there to help him.';
Sorry, but that argument doesn't even work on the most basic level. Unless you're claiming that he was all alone for the entire time, never talking to anyone else (which would be a lie), your argument simply falls apart.
';In fact, he cannot read, no library, Internet or Y!A.';
Once again, unless you're claiming that he was all alone (and we know he wasn't, and we also know he hung out with a lot of Jews at the beginning of his prophetic ';career';), your argument doesn't work.
';The Qur'an says everything bad about satan, nothing good.';
So? Where is this ';satan';? Who is this ';satan';?
What exactly are you trying to prove here?
';He denied money, power, women and slaves to stop teaching Qur'an %26amp; Islam.';
Of course, he got plenty of all of the above by ';teaching'; Islam, so he didn't really need it.
';So who's words the Qur'an is?';
That would be Mohammad's. At least, you have done nothing to demonstrate that that isn't the case.
Muhammad received the bits and pieces of the puzzle (several verses of the AlQuran), one at a time over 22 years and put these verses in the designated place as soon as he received it (and never to juggle/sifted or move around) to form the final Quran as we find today.Subhanallah.
In short,he did wonders no man had done. No wonder his followers are growing inspite of the cruelty, lies and slanders the Muslims are facing.
Sex and sexual myths -- what did you believe?
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Im about 11 weeks pregnant and feeling a bit depressed =[?
Hi all... This question is for women who are pregnant as well/ or have been pregnant.. Ok, well im about 11 weeks, but dealing with all this stress by myself; i had my first midwifes appointment the thursday thats just gone, and they took a urine test to detect bacteria or something in my urine.. And also they took a blood test, testing for loads of different diseases including HIV. I havent got the results back yet, i can call them on friday for the results.. I also have my 12 week scan not this week but the week after, where they will tell me how likely i am or not to have a child with Downs syndrome. I just feel so scared and nervous and anxious and overwhelmed by it all. Im quite an anxious person anyway, and have a history of depression and at the moment i am signed off work with severe anxiety problems.. But i am just TERRIFIED about my test results! I have had unprotected sex with two people in the last 3 years, and I know it takes just the once to get HIV.. I am so looking forward to this baby, though cant help thinking that something is going to go terribly wrong and my world is going to come crashing down. I am terrified the test will come back positive! The two men i had unprotected sex with have never used drugs with needles or anything like that, though i am aware that it can be transmitted just by having hetrosexual sex.. I seem well in myself, though im starting to suspect i may have oral thrush- my tongue has a VERY light white furry coat over it- i know that sounds disgusting lol (I have googled images regarding oral thrush, my tongue does NOT look as bad as these ones, although no matter how much i brush my tongue, the thin white coat of ';fur'; never seems to come off). I have read that oral thrush can be a symptom of HIV. I have also suffered bouts of thrush which has been confirmed by the doctor, like vaginal thrush.. Im just so depressed. Am i worrying too much- do all women worry about these test results?? Im just scared that if the guy who i concieved my baby with has had a lot of sexual partners, then i could be at risk.. I suppose no one on here knows the answer for definite, but i'd just like to know how you all feel/ felt about having all these tests.. And the baby too- i keep worrying something could be wrong with my baby.. This all just feels to good to be true- it would be an absolute DREAM for me to give birth to a perfect, healthy child.. But i just cannot imagine that happening in August 2010!! I've always felt like i have such bad luck in my life.. I believe in God and have been praying every single night since i found out i am pregnant.. But i am just so scared. Im trying not to worry for the baby's sake but i cant help but feel so low. Just a bit of other information for you, i am 20 years old, the guy i concieved with is 32 (his age concerns me now slightly because im thinking he could have had quite a few sexual partners), and i live in the Uk.. I dont really know how bad HIV is in the Uk, like if loads of people have it or not... I just feel so down.. I want to be excited about the pregnancy, this is what i have dreamt of for so long, but i cant help feeling its all going to go terribly wrong.. Please ladies, share your experiences with me.. Thanks in advance =] God Bless ~x~Im about 11 weeks pregnant and feeling a bit depressed =[?
It sounds normal.
It is unlikely you caught HIV. If you do, then your doctor will discuss options including termination.
If your child has downs syndrome, you will still love it or give it up for adoption.
So don't worry so much - it will all turn out OK.Im about 11 weeks pregnant and feeling a bit depressed =[?
Hi, Im male.. but i think you may have Post-Mortem Depression.. go to a doctor and explain. he should help
Hi! I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my second baby and feel a little flat at the moment, the fatique is draining,the hormones in your body make you emotional and there is so much you can't do or eat. I'm 22 yrs old. My first is 15 months old, I was 21 when I gave birth to her. I remember when pregnant with my first that I worried a lot about things. I tried not to worry too much about the tests as I tried to remember that the results were nothing I could change and they all came back fine! I have also slept with two men without protection, one being my partner and father of my children and the other was someone I knew before I met my partner, this is something I am not proud of however ( I am talking more about the first man ) and would not recommend anyone doing it at any time and I did go and get tested after sleeping with the first man though. Don't worry too much about the tests, I am sure they will be fine, like you said you have not felt unwell or had any symptoms.
As for worrying about the baby being healthy....that is the most normal thing in the world for expectant mothers and fathers, and probably grandparents too. If you didn't think and worry a little about that you prob wouldn't be normal. I am a worrier and sometimes I have to tell myself that the baby will be fine and that the only thing that will probably do it any harm is the stress I put myself under by worrying. It doesn't get any better when the baby is born either sorry to say. I constantly worry about my little girl - about her future, what if's, ifs shes had enough to drink, enough to eat, enough sleep, if she'll have a happy life, if she might get bullied at school......the list goes on and I'm sure I will be the same with the second.
I did enjoy being pregnant so much though, I loved my baby bump and feeling my baby moving inside me. When you get past all of these not so nice bits like tests and things you will be able to concentrate more on the good bits about being pregnant, try not to let your worrying over shadow your joy as its only for nine months and it goes so quickly. Why not also join a few antenatal classes to meet other pregnant women to share your thoughts and feelings.
Good luck and all the best, hope you feel better soon. Oh ad one more thing I find helps me relax is exercising, even if it's just a brisk walk to the shops and back I always feel better afterwards. :)
Your worries are normal, because when i was pregnant with my second child i was so scared when i got my HIV test down and every time i went to the doctors i felt like they were going to tell me it came back positive, but in the end every test they took came back normal. So my advice is to you is don't worry so much i am sure everything is going to be okay. Stressing too much is not good for your baby.
i really feel for you cos i've beenthere. i was 20 when i was first pregnant and yes i was terrified of those test results!! i think everyone is, its normal. i never thought i might of had hiv but when i was waiting for those results i was so scared and my mind just kept going over and over the chance i could have it. thank god i didn't but that did'nt help me at the time i was waiting for results. i also suffer from depression on and off so i know what thats like. if you suffer much you should make sure your doc has you on anti depressants before you have your baby, they are perfectly safe, the doctor will know which ones to prescribe because if you suffer from depression your at a higher risk of suffering fom post natal depression. i'm 27 now and have 3 beautiful perfect little girls aged 6, 3 and 1. i had all the same fears you are having right now on all three and if i was to have another baby now i know i'd go thru all those fears again. its all completly normal i prromise. after my first baby i just had the baby blues, but after the second i had terrible post natal depression and it lasted months. on my third i took the anti depressants while still pregnant to try prevent it and it worked. nobody warned me so i thought i'd warn you. i'm sure your worrying for nothing and i hope you are but believe me if anything does go wrong you will get thru it. your gonna have a beautiful baby in a few months who will love you so much and you'll be a great mother. you already are, you wouldn't be so worried if you weren't a great mum. i really hope i've helped you a little. i don't really know how yahoo works and if people can message each other but if we can then you can message me anytime to talk about anything. i know exactly how your feeling and what your going thru and would love to help. xxx
I used to have a white coating over my tongue all the time, and it turned out to just be food and bacteria stuck in my taste buds. The solution? A $3 tongue scraper. As soon as I started using it my breath got better as well. The dentist said this is because taste buds can be shaped like a mushroom and traps this stuff under it to basically rot in your mouth. While it IS possible for you to have caught something from one of these men, it is far more likely you caught a standard STD then cause HIV. HIV is MUCH harder to transmit through other body fluids then blood. And yes all of these tests are standard for pregnant women, it is to let them know what to expect and to correct issues before they become problems. Now what I want you to do is go sit in a quiet comfortable place, imagine holding your baby in your arms, look the child in the face and say ';I love you';. Don't you feel better after that?
It's an anxious time being pregnant. You worry a lot - get yourself the book 'what to expect when you're expecting' so you know what to expect a bit. Go back to your GP and talk to them about your anxiety as it's not good for you or the baby. Try to learn to relax a bit - get together with other mums to be who will also be worrying. Join pregnancy yoga for instance to relax naturally a bit. It's too late to worry about sexual partners now - you are pregnant and even if there are problems, it's less likely than you are led to believe. However, just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you stop having sex so try to have safe sex when you next get round to it with a new partner. It's not just you to think about but your child. Thrush is common when pregnant and they test urine at every midwife appointment. You are young so risk of downs is slight.
It sounds normal.
It is unlikely you caught HIV. If you do, then your doctor will discuss options including termination.
If your child has downs syndrome, you will still love it or give it up for adoption.
So don't worry so much - it will all turn out OK.Im about 11 weeks pregnant and feeling a bit depressed =[?
Hi, Im male.. but i think you may have Post-Mortem Depression.. go to a doctor and explain. he should help
Hi! I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my second baby and feel a little flat at the moment, the fatique is draining,the hormones in your body make you emotional and there is so much you can't do or eat. I'm 22 yrs old. My first is 15 months old, I was 21 when I gave birth to her. I remember when pregnant with my first that I worried a lot about things. I tried not to worry too much about the tests as I tried to remember that the results were nothing I could change and they all came back fine! I have also slept with two men without protection, one being my partner and father of my children and the other was someone I knew before I met my partner, this is something I am not proud of however ( I am talking more about the first man ) and would not recommend anyone doing it at any time and I did go and get tested after sleeping with the first man though. Don't worry too much about the tests, I am sure they will be fine, like you said you have not felt unwell or had any symptoms.
As for worrying about the baby being healthy....that is the most normal thing in the world for expectant mothers and fathers, and probably grandparents too. If you didn't think and worry a little about that you prob wouldn't be normal. I am a worrier and sometimes I have to tell myself that the baby will be fine and that the only thing that will probably do it any harm is the stress I put myself under by worrying. It doesn't get any better when the baby is born either sorry to say. I constantly worry about my little girl - about her future, what if's, ifs shes had enough to drink, enough to eat, enough sleep, if she'll have a happy life, if she might get bullied at school......the list goes on and I'm sure I will be the same with the second.
I did enjoy being pregnant so much though, I loved my baby bump and feeling my baby moving inside me. When you get past all of these not so nice bits like tests and things you will be able to concentrate more on the good bits about being pregnant, try not to let your worrying over shadow your joy as its only for nine months and it goes so quickly. Why not also join a few antenatal classes to meet other pregnant women to share your thoughts and feelings.
Good luck and all the best, hope you feel better soon. Oh ad one more thing I find helps me relax is exercising, even if it's just a brisk walk to the shops and back I always feel better afterwards. :)
Your worries are normal, because when i was pregnant with my second child i was so scared when i got my HIV test down and every time i went to the doctors i felt like they were going to tell me it came back positive, but in the end every test they took came back normal. So my advice is to you is don't worry so much i am sure everything is going to be okay. Stressing too much is not good for your baby.
i really feel for you cos i've beenthere. i was 20 when i was first pregnant and yes i was terrified of those test results!! i think everyone is, its normal. i never thought i might of had hiv but when i was waiting for those results i was so scared and my mind just kept going over and over the chance i could have it. thank god i didn't but that did'nt help me at the time i was waiting for results. i also suffer from depression on and off so i know what thats like. if you suffer much you should make sure your doc has you on anti depressants before you have your baby, they are perfectly safe, the doctor will know which ones to prescribe because if you suffer from depression your at a higher risk of suffering fom post natal depression. i'm 27 now and have 3 beautiful perfect little girls aged 6, 3 and 1. i had all the same fears you are having right now on all three and if i was to have another baby now i know i'd go thru all those fears again. its all completly normal i prromise. after my first baby i just had the baby blues, but after the second i had terrible post natal depression and it lasted months. on my third i took the anti depressants while still pregnant to try prevent it and it worked. nobody warned me so i thought i'd warn you. i'm sure your worrying for nothing and i hope you are but believe me if anything does go wrong you will get thru it. your gonna have a beautiful baby in a few months who will love you so much and you'll be a great mother. you already are, you wouldn't be so worried if you weren't a great mum. i really hope i've helped you a little. i don't really know how yahoo works and if people can message each other but if we can then you can message me anytime to talk about anything. i know exactly how your feeling and what your going thru and would love to help. xxx
I used to have a white coating over my tongue all the time, and it turned out to just be food and bacteria stuck in my taste buds. The solution? A $3 tongue scraper. As soon as I started using it my breath got better as well. The dentist said this is because taste buds can be shaped like a mushroom and traps this stuff under it to basically rot in your mouth. While it IS possible for you to have caught something from one of these men, it is far more likely you caught a standard STD then cause HIV. HIV is MUCH harder to transmit through other body fluids then blood. And yes all of these tests are standard for pregnant women, it is to let them know what to expect and to correct issues before they become problems. Now what I want you to do is go sit in a quiet comfortable place, imagine holding your baby in your arms, look the child in the face and say ';I love you';. Don't you feel better after that?
It's an anxious time being pregnant. You worry a lot - get yourself the book 'what to expect when you're expecting' so you know what to expect a bit. Go back to your GP and talk to them about your anxiety as it's not good for you or the baby. Try to learn to relax a bit - get together with other mums to be who will also be worrying. Join pregnancy yoga for instance to relax naturally a bit. It's too late to worry about sexual partners now - you are pregnant and even if there are problems, it's less likely than you are led to believe. However, just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you stop having sex so try to have safe sex when you next get round to it with a new partner. It's not just you to think about but your child. Thrush is common when pregnant and they test urine at every midwife appointment. You are young so risk of downs is slight.
I'm re-posting this as there are new people here. Please give your views.?
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and ';dehumanized'; when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the ';atrocities'; attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in ';Exodus'; and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in ';Joshua'; including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most ';tolerant'; and ';loving.';
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in ';tongues'; may be all the evidence you need to ';prove'; Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a ';high success rate'; when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.I'm re-posting this as there are new people here. Please give your views.?
Heh. Always amusing.I'm re-posting this as there are new people here. Please give your views.?
I'm inclined to agree.
But not all Christians are guilty of these things.
An atheist is a Christian (Jew, Muslim) with one less God.
I find it very amusing...and true.
all i got to say is
DAMN
I'm sensing a lot of hostility. Do you feel that God has wronged you?
hahaha.... hey now, that's not fair... I like most Christians; but still: hahaha.
I'm an atheist but I know people who are Christians, who are not bigoted or fanatical, who find comfort from their faith in difficult times, and who are kind to other people regardless of their beliefs.
Take care not to become as judgemental and bigoted as those you despise.
i myself am a christian because i choose to be i do not ridicule or critisise any other reliogions and i do not force my beliefs on anybody else. whe are entitled to our own opinions and beliefs that should be respected by others. do not generalise between all christians not everybody is the same. i have read it and thought about it and yes its rational but i am and always be a christian just like you will always be an atheist. it seems as if you want to force your beliefs on everybody else, not a good idea.
Well I can speak to 7,3,2 and 1 maybe 5.
7.Pharaoh slaughtered the first born of all the Hebrews first,that is how Moses came to be raised in Pharaohs palace.When the land was given to the Hebrews God told them to wipe out the inhabitants(God made them,he does as he likes)they did not.Those left rose up and still war against Israel today.
3.The newer physics studies will bring some answers you may not like.Have patients answers are on the way.(prophesy)
2.God answers my prayers quite often though it is no easier when the answer is no.
1. I doubt you know more of what is in the Bible than me,but if you do,I will study more.As to church history,I know some about many churches but because of that belong to none.
I an Christian.
Oh yeah 5.I don't know how old the earth is or how God created it but answer three may redefine thing a Little.
Paul said it better than almost anyone else ever has: ';For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God. For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent. Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom: But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness; But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men... But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence. '; The simple fact of the matter is that Jesus did exist, he performed more miracles than any other man in history, he was 100% right all the time, Maybe his followers screw up now and then, but so what? they are just imperfect humans (like you) who have tapped into the creator and are trying, at least, to get with the ';God Program';. There is much we do not understand, that is for sure, but this one thing (as Paul said) we do understand is that Jesus was the only perfect man that lived and he still died for the redemption of all mankind. Leaving the ultimate choice, of course, up to them. In Romans chapter two, Paul does explain that God will judge in righteousness even those who have perhaps never heard of him, according to their own hearts... ';For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified. For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another; In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.'; Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater when trying to understand spiritual stuff.... God is not stupid and He does know what he is doing, AND Jesus was the one time he defined himself in human form...
Your point in this text is well made ( and down right amusing! ), it is worthy of consideration however that no matter the unlikelihood of something the possibility remains. I'm of the opinion that anything that allows the good folk comfort is welcome. We all need to believe, that can be manifest in the belief of Jesus as the son of God, that can be exclusively God, that can be belief in self; very few truly believe in nothing ( Nihilists I guess, but don't they believe in pancakes? ). My opinion is if you find comfort in worshiping a bundle of mud and sticks then by all means do so, it's the idea of trying to get everyone on board that riles me; there isn't one way to the conclusion. Perhaps it is worth pointing out this as well, where ever atheism was central to a governments dogma ( Communist Russia springs to mind and I don't think the Nazi Party were too churchy either ) freedom of expression was eliminated; religious or other wise. I think you'll find that although some Christians are absorbed in zealot frenzy most are kindly, and more to the point they're defending the rights of people who don't agree with them by supporting Democracy. I'm not a Christian but I do believe in God with all my heart and mind for the proof to me is overwhelming, it's my own existence that I doubt; but another venue may best address that. I enjoyed the sub text very much, thank you.
10-You don't know me to say that I have any emptions towards other religion. I don't get mad when others don't believe as I do. That's immaturity.
9-I wasn't made from dirt. My parents had me. Not offended by ignorance for as evolution especially when no proof is provided otherwise moving on!
8-Never met a polythesit. Can't laugh on that one.Triune =One True God
7-Can't turn purple because I'm a Afro-American.( Brown sugar color) Sin is Sin. Don't blame God for his judgement. God can do want he wants! Look for positive in the bible it will lower ur blood pressure. (Now that's funny)
6-Don't know a hindu nor laugh at one. Greeks gods are myths. What other way could God enter in to this World but only thru power and purity. God is awesome!
5-You don't know me or how I SPEND MY TIME! It's defintely not looking for negativity.
4-Freewill!? Try it! ooh! That's right. You have already chosen ur destiny which is Hell because you chose not to believe. Wow! moving on!
3-Science and etc... hasn't convinced me because they have no proof or evidence to back up their claim. OOPS! Try again!
Speaking in tongues is evidence of Holy Spirit is in a born again believer and there are other evidence besides that such as miracles
2- Prayer does work. Close-minded people prayers will not be answered especially if their motives are not right. My prayers are 100% answered because of my relationship with God. God never fails. Nothing is impossible to God.
1-The pharasees and scribes thought like you,atheist and agnostics and still go there way to hell. They did believe in God! Lastly,You don't know me or what I know. I don't just call myself a christian but a child of God which is more than you can say about ur self. I do know more than you and ur rival sect and that is: You need to get a LIFE!
LIKE ALL ATHEIST,YOU DONT KNOW A THING ABOUT CHRISTIANS.
Who is you? How many true Christians have you spoken with? I don't think you have talked to even one TRUE Christian. Many claimed to be the true religion but only one is the real one. By this you will know them, if they have love among themselves.
” (John 13:35) Love bears all things, hopes all things and believes all things. True Chrisitans would not react the way you have stated in your question.
9 - You feel insulted and ';dehumanized'; when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the ';atrocities'; attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in ';Exodus'; and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in ';Joshua'; including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most ';tolerant'; and ';loving.';
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in ';tongues'; may be all the evidence you need to ';prove'; Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a ';high success rate'; when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.I'm re-posting this as there are new people here. Please give your views.?
Heh. Always amusing.I'm re-posting this as there are new people here. Please give your views.?
I'm inclined to agree.
But not all Christians are guilty of these things.
An atheist is a Christian (Jew, Muslim) with one less God.
I find it very amusing...and true.
all i got to say is
DAMN
I'm sensing a lot of hostility. Do you feel that God has wronged you?
hahaha.... hey now, that's not fair... I like most Christians; but still: hahaha.
I'm an atheist but I know people who are Christians, who are not bigoted or fanatical, who find comfort from their faith in difficult times, and who are kind to other people regardless of their beliefs.
Take care not to become as judgemental and bigoted as those you despise.
i myself am a christian because i choose to be i do not ridicule or critisise any other reliogions and i do not force my beliefs on anybody else. whe are entitled to our own opinions and beliefs that should be respected by others. do not generalise between all christians not everybody is the same. i have read it and thought about it and yes its rational but i am and always be a christian just like you will always be an atheist. it seems as if you want to force your beliefs on everybody else, not a good idea.
Well I can speak to 7,3,2 and 1 maybe 5.
7.Pharaoh slaughtered the first born of all the Hebrews first,that is how Moses came to be raised in Pharaohs palace.When the land was given to the Hebrews God told them to wipe out the inhabitants(God made them,he does as he likes)they did not.Those left rose up and still war against Israel today.
3.The newer physics studies will bring some answers you may not like.Have patients answers are on the way.(prophesy)
2.God answers my prayers quite often though it is no easier when the answer is no.
1. I doubt you know more of what is in the Bible than me,but if you do,I will study more.As to church history,I know some about many churches but because of that belong to none.
I an Christian.
Oh yeah 5.I don't know how old the earth is or how God created it but answer three may redefine thing a Little.
Paul said it better than almost anyone else ever has: ';For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God. For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent. Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom: But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness; But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men... But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence. '; The simple fact of the matter is that Jesus did exist, he performed more miracles than any other man in history, he was 100% right all the time, Maybe his followers screw up now and then, but so what? they are just imperfect humans (like you) who have tapped into the creator and are trying, at least, to get with the ';God Program';. There is much we do not understand, that is for sure, but this one thing (as Paul said) we do understand is that Jesus was the only perfect man that lived and he still died for the redemption of all mankind. Leaving the ultimate choice, of course, up to them. In Romans chapter two, Paul does explain that God will judge in righteousness even those who have perhaps never heard of him, according to their own hearts... ';For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified. For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another; In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.'; Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater when trying to understand spiritual stuff.... God is not stupid and He does know what he is doing, AND Jesus was the one time he defined himself in human form...
Your point in this text is well made ( and down right amusing! ), it is worthy of consideration however that no matter the unlikelihood of something the possibility remains. I'm of the opinion that anything that allows the good folk comfort is welcome. We all need to believe, that can be manifest in the belief of Jesus as the son of God, that can be exclusively God, that can be belief in self; very few truly believe in nothing ( Nihilists I guess, but don't they believe in pancakes? ). My opinion is if you find comfort in worshiping a bundle of mud and sticks then by all means do so, it's the idea of trying to get everyone on board that riles me; there isn't one way to the conclusion. Perhaps it is worth pointing out this as well, where ever atheism was central to a governments dogma ( Communist Russia springs to mind and I don't think the Nazi Party were too churchy either ) freedom of expression was eliminated; religious or other wise. I think you'll find that although some Christians are absorbed in zealot frenzy most are kindly, and more to the point they're defending the rights of people who don't agree with them by supporting Democracy. I'm not a Christian but I do believe in God with all my heart and mind for the proof to me is overwhelming, it's my own existence that I doubt; but another venue may best address that. I enjoyed the sub text very much, thank you.
10-You don't know me to say that I have any emptions towards other religion. I don't get mad when others don't believe as I do. That's immaturity.
9-I wasn't made from dirt. My parents had me. Not offended by ignorance for as evolution especially when no proof is provided otherwise moving on!
8-Never met a polythesit. Can't laugh on that one.Triune =One True God
7-Can't turn purple because I'm a Afro-American.( Brown sugar color) Sin is Sin. Don't blame God for his judgement. God can do want he wants! Look for positive in the bible it will lower ur blood pressure. (Now that's funny)
6-Don't know a hindu nor laugh at one. Greeks gods are myths. What other way could God enter in to this World but only thru power and purity. God is awesome!
5-You don't know me or how I SPEND MY TIME! It's defintely not looking for negativity.
4-Freewill!? Try it! ooh! That's right. You have already chosen ur destiny which is Hell because you chose not to believe. Wow! moving on!
3-Science and etc... hasn't convinced me because they have no proof or evidence to back up their claim. OOPS! Try again!
Speaking in tongues is evidence of Holy Spirit is in a born again believer and there are other evidence besides that such as miracles
2- Prayer does work. Close-minded people prayers will not be answered especially if their motives are not right. My prayers are 100% answered because of my relationship with God. God never fails. Nothing is impossible to God.
1-The pharasees and scribes thought like you,atheist and agnostics and still go there way to hell. They did believe in God! Lastly,You don't know me or what I know. I don't just call myself a christian but a child of God which is more than you can say about ur self. I do know more than you and ur rival sect and that is: You need to get a LIFE!
LIKE ALL ATHEIST,YOU DONT KNOW A THING ABOUT CHRISTIANS.
Who is you? How many true Christians have you spoken with? I don't think you have talked to even one TRUE Christian. Many claimed to be the true religion but only one is the real one. By this you will know them, if they have love among themselves.
” (John 13:35) Love bears all things, hopes all things and believes all things. True Chrisitans would not react the way you have stated in your question.
Baby shower disappointment (very long)?
My SIL is pregnant and I was really excited about throwing a baby shower for her. Now all I can think is why?
My husband's brother's wife and I were going to throw one together for our SIL. My MIL happened to be there when I brought up the topic and she mentioned that she wanted to do a Going Away party for my BIL who is leaving for the Army the same weekend that I wanted to do the baby shower. My MIL and husband's brother's wife decided that it would be a great idea to just combine both the baby shower and the Going Away party. I think this is the worst idea ever. I was hoping to have just females and kids since I know none of the guys want to babysit. Now it will be all the relatives. This is close to 50 people in a small house. My SIL doesn't care as long as she gets her gifts.
I know I shouldn't care since none of them seem to care but I can't help but be disappointed. I wonder why none of them care at all. Now I don't even know how to go about planning games. Most of the women can't read or write in English or our native tongue. The men will take over the living room which leaves all the women crowded in the kitchen which is also where all the food will be so people will be coming and going. The only games I can think of is guessing how big my SIL's tummy is and guessing how much candy/items are in a jar. Most of the women are old and I know they'll be too embarrassed to do much because of the men present. If you know of any other games I can possibly do, please say so. I want to make the best of the situation. Keep in mind the limited room. Most of us will be standing since the kitchen is small.
Another thing, I happened to mention that my husband wanted to do our son's birthday that weekend too but I didn't want to do a birthday party period. My husband's brother's wife thought it would be a great idea to do my son's birthday along with the baby shower and the go away party. I tried telling her no nicely but she said it's not a big deal since all we need is a cake for him. I only have one child, how can it not be a big deal? My son IS a big deal to me. I couldn't believe how inconsiderate she sounded when she told me it wasn't a big deal. I was seething inside but I just smiled and told her No. I raged about it to my husband and even he doesn't like the idea.
Would you agree to doing a birthday party for your child along with a baby shower and a go way party?
My son is turning 2. Last year we had a big party for him and I was told by my husband's brother's wife that I should have had a smaller party because he won't remember it any way. It's hard to throw a small party when we come from such big families.Baby shower disappointment (very long)?
WOW! The 1st thing that came to my mind was REALLY?!?!?! I mean a shower, going away party, and birthday party all at the same time? Or even in the same weekend? NO!
As for the shower, I would be mad if someone wanted to do another party at the same time. It would also offend me, but I really think that's just cause I'm prego now, and my thoughts and hormones are everywhere. If you are having a women's only shower, then yes it would be weird with guys there. And it's not fair to cram all of the women in the kitchen for their shower, and then the guys in the living room.
If you don't want to do a big or any party for your son, that is your and your husband's choice, no one elses. If it were me I would still have something for close famliy.
I went to a shower and guests cut yarn that they thought would be big enough to fit around the pregnant ladys belly and who every cmae the closest to her actual size won.Baby shower disappointment (very long)?
I am so glad I'm not married to you- sorry. you need to focus on whats important in life. He's 2!
Please try to change and grow up -for your husband and kids sake.
Blu858 - you have no idea what you're talking about, YOU grow up and stop acting like a douche bag.
I think your family should stop interfering so much and let you do things the way you were going to do them. I wouldn't want to add my 2 year olds party into THAT mix, it's too damn hectic, and little kids birthday parties should be all about them, so I feel you.
I think that the baby shower should be separate, partly to alleviate stress from you as the hostess, and partly because a baby shower is all about the mommy to be and now she won't have all the attention....
Unfortunately it can be hard when there are several family members wanting to throw parties in a limited amount of time. Ask your SIL what she wants. (When I was getting married I only wanted 1 bridal shower and I wanted it to be hosted by my Matron of Honor...I had other family members who wanted to throw another one and I finally had to tell them that I only wanted 1 shower...I didn't want my family members competing over who could throw the best shower.) Ask her in private if she would rather have a separate shower without the going away party or combine the two.
Games: At one of my baby showers everyone had to put a piece of paper on the top of their head and then they had 1 minute to draw what they thought the baby would look like. (While the paper was on their head. Everyone put their name on the back of the picture and then we displayed them all and picked the best/funnies one.) I've also done a game where you put 10-30 baby items in a basket and give everyone a look. Then you take the basket away and have everyone write down what was in it. The person who remembers the most wins. (I really enjoy this one because you put things that the person will use. For me if I am hosting the shower the things would be part of my gift to her...bottles, pacifiers, milacon, comb, towel...anything you can think of that she wold use for a baby.)
Sounds like they all come from a big, boisterous family that just loves get togethers and will come up with any excuse for one. Not a bad idea, but obviously not what you had in mind.
I think to keep the peace, just go with the flow. Have a huge party and invite everyone. Don't try to make it a traditional shower with games, ladyfinger cookies, tea, and finger sandwiches -- just an all out huge family party, kind of like a family reunion. Yes, there will be baby gifts and probably gifts for your son too, but that's ok. Just enjoy being together. Maybe the weather will cooperate and the men can hang around outside for a while to give you all a bit of space.
Then the following weekend, give your son a special party just for him -- a couple of friends, mom and dad and grandparents. It will still be HIS special day, but no one will feel left out because they were at this first multi-purpose/combination shower/goodbye/birthday party.
When my son turned 2 I just had a cake for him at our annual family party/reunion. I just let my family know that I was also doing his birthday at the party to make sure those who had kids to bring them. I actually am all for combining parties. The more the merrier. That's my philosophy. I'm not sure what is ur ethnicity but we don't do babyshowers the traditonal american way with all women. Ours are co-ed with music and dancing and having lots of fun. I prefer it that way. My husband is american and I told him to make sure that whatever he does, make sure we have a co-ed shower. I love to see all our family and friends get together and party. If you are worried about space, is there anyway you can rent out a hall or something? Is it going to be cold out, if not then you can probably have it outside. JMO!
You Know your childs birthday is a BIG DEAL!!! im sorry but screw ur inlaws in that case u should just thrown ur bay his party sine at the end they dont care of how thier party turn out come on babyshower/going away party how dumb!!! each mother to be is anxious for thier baby shwer and to hav to sshare it w a going away party!!!! u knw i get those stpid coments too my baby is turning one and im thoring him a big party also which some people dont agree';cuz he wont remeber '; ut i dont dont to me its a very important thing in our lives!!!!!
';Would you agree to doing a birthday party for your child along with a baby shower and a go way party?';
NO. If it had to come down to rescheduling the birthday party, that's what I would do. My daughter just turned 2 in February, and I wanted her to have her own special party. She had so much fun, I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Just throwing this out there - it's generally pretty inexpensive to rent out the basement of a church or something. You don't even necessarily need to be a member... we had one of the converted sanctuaries at a church for my baby shower, and we weren't members there. It would give you the extra space you need without a lot of extra cost. Our house is *really* small, and there's no WAY I could fit 50 people. We had less than 20 for my daughter's 2nd, and it felt like we were sitting on each other.
Good luck.
My husband's brother's wife and I were going to throw one together for our SIL. My MIL happened to be there when I brought up the topic and she mentioned that she wanted to do a Going Away party for my BIL who is leaving for the Army the same weekend that I wanted to do the baby shower. My MIL and husband's brother's wife decided that it would be a great idea to just combine both the baby shower and the Going Away party. I think this is the worst idea ever. I was hoping to have just females and kids since I know none of the guys want to babysit. Now it will be all the relatives. This is close to 50 people in a small house. My SIL doesn't care as long as she gets her gifts.
I know I shouldn't care since none of them seem to care but I can't help but be disappointed. I wonder why none of them care at all. Now I don't even know how to go about planning games. Most of the women can't read or write in English or our native tongue. The men will take over the living room which leaves all the women crowded in the kitchen which is also where all the food will be so people will be coming and going. The only games I can think of is guessing how big my SIL's tummy is and guessing how much candy/items are in a jar. Most of the women are old and I know they'll be too embarrassed to do much because of the men present. If you know of any other games I can possibly do, please say so. I want to make the best of the situation. Keep in mind the limited room. Most of us will be standing since the kitchen is small.
Another thing, I happened to mention that my husband wanted to do our son's birthday that weekend too but I didn't want to do a birthday party period. My husband's brother's wife thought it would be a great idea to do my son's birthday along with the baby shower and the go away party. I tried telling her no nicely but she said it's not a big deal since all we need is a cake for him. I only have one child, how can it not be a big deal? My son IS a big deal to me. I couldn't believe how inconsiderate she sounded when she told me it wasn't a big deal. I was seething inside but I just smiled and told her No. I raged about it to my husband and even he doesn't like the idea.
Would you agree to doing a birthday party for your child along with a baby shower and a go way party?
My son is turning 2. Last year we had a big party for him and I was told by my husband's brother's wife that I should have had a smaller party because he won't remember it any way. It's hard to throw a small party when we come from such big families.Baby shower disappointment (very long)?
WOW! The 1st thing that came to my mind was REALLY?!?!?! I mean a shower, going away party, and birthday party all at the same time? Or even in the same weekend? NO!
As for the shower, I would be mad if someone wanted to do another party at the same time. It would also offend me, but I really think that's just cause I'm prego now, and my thoughts and hormones are everywhere. If you are having a women's only shower, then yes it would be weird with guys there. And it's not fair to cram all of the women in the kitchen for their shower, and then the guys in the living room.
If you don't want to do a big or any party for your son, that is your and your husband's choice, no one elses. If it were me I would still have something for close famliy.
I went to a shower and guests cut yarn that they thought would be big enough to fit around the pregnant ladys belly and who every cmae the closest to her actual size won.Baby shower disappointment (very long)?
I am so glad I'm not married to you- sorry. you need to focus on whats important in life. He's 2!
Please try to change and grow up -for your husband and kids sake.
Blu858 - you have no idea what you're talking about, YOU grow up and stop acting like a douche bag.
I think your family should stop interfering so much and let you do things the way you were going to do them. I wouldn't want to add my 2 year olds party into THAT mix, it's too damn hectic, and little kids birthday parties should be all about them, so I feel you.
I think that the baby shower should be separate, partly to alleviate stress from you as the hostess, and partly because a baby shower is all about the mommy to be and now she won't have all the attention....
Unfortunately it can be hard when there are several family members wanting to throw parties in a limited amount of time. Ask your SIL what she wants. (When I was getting married I only wanted 1 bridal shower and I wanted it to be hosted by my Matron of Honor...I had other family members who wanted to throw another one and I finally had to tell them that I only wanted 1 shower...I didn't want my family members competing over who could throw the best shower.) Ask her in private if she would rather have a separate shower without the going away party or combine the two.
Games: At one of my baby showers everyone had to put a piece of paper on the top of their head and then they had 1 minute to draw what they thought the baby would look like. (While the paper was on their head. Everyone put their name on the back of the picture and then we displayed them all and picked the best/funnies one.) I've also done a game where you put 10-30 baby items in a basket and give everyone a look. Then you take the basket away and have everyone write down what was in it. The person who remembers the most wins. (I really enjoy this one because you put things that the person will use. For me if I am hosting the shower the things would be part of my gift to her...bottles, pacifiers, milacon, comb, towel...anything you can think of that she wold use for a baby.)
Sounds like they all come from a big, boisterous family that just loves get togethers and will come up with any excuse for one. Not a bad idea, but obviously not what you had in mind.
I think to keep the peace, just go with the flow. Have a huge party and invite everyone. Don't try to make it a traditional shower with games, ladyfinger cookies, tea, and finger sandwiches -- just an all out huge family party, kind of like a family reunion. Yes, there will be baby gifts and probably gifts for your son too, but that's ok. Just enjoy being together. Maybe the weather will cooperate and the men can hang around outside for a while to give you all a bit of space.
Then the following weekend, give your son a special party just for him -- a couple of friends, mom and dad and grandparents. It will still be HIS special day, but no one will feel left out because they were at this first multi-purpose/combination shower/goodbye/birthday party.
When my son turned 2 I just had a cake for him at our annual family party/reunion. I just let my family know that I was also doing his birthday at the party to make sure those who had kids to bring them. I actually am all for combining parties. The more the merrier. That's my philosophy. I'm not sure what is ur ethnicity but we don't do babyshowers the traditonal american way with all women. Ours are co-ed with music and dancing and having lots of fun. I prefer it that way. My husband is american and I told him to make sure that whatever he does, make sure we have a co-ed shower. I love to see all our family and friends get together and party. If you are worried about space, is there anyway you can rent out a hall or something? Is it going to be cold out, if not then you can probably have it outside. JMO!
You Know your childs birthday is a BIG DEAL!!! im sorry but screw ur inlaws in that case u should just thrown ur bay his party sine at the end they dont care of how thier party turn out come on babyshower/going away party how dumb!!! each mother to be is anxious for thier baby shwer and to hav to sshare it w a going away party!!!! u knw i get those stpid coments too my baby is turning one and im thoring him a big party also which some people dont agree';cuz he wont remeber '; ut i dont dont to me its a very important thing in our lives!!!!!
';Would you agree to doing a birthday party for your child along with a baby shower and a go way party?';
NO. If it had to come down to rescheduling the birthday party, that's what I would do. My daughter just turned 2 in February, and I wanted her to have her own special party. She had so much fun, I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Just throwing this out there - it's generally pretty inexpensive to rent out the basement of a church or something. You don't even necessarily need to be a member... we had one of the converted sanctuaries at a church for my baby shower, and we weren't members there. It would give you the extra space you need without a lot of extra cost. Our house is *really* small, and there's no WAY I could fit 50 people. We had less than 20 for my daughter's 2nd, and it felt like we were sitting on each other.
Good luck.
63 ways to make a cop mad..? ?
1.
When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?';
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17.
When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.
';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22.
When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34.
When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37.
When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61.
Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63.
Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 ways to make a cop mad..? ?
HAHAHAHA this is HILARIOUS :)63 ways to make a cop mad..? ?
44 is the only funny one
i love the pen one. My best friend does that. I love 58 and I love 61. How'd you paste this long list? i thought there was word limits.
Haha lol, very nice. But I don't think this belongs in the singles and dating category ;)
ur a loser!
When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?';
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17.
When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.
';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22.
When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34.
When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37.
When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61.
Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63.
Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 ways to make a cop mad..? ?
HAHAHAHA this is HILARIOUS :)63 ways to make a cop mad..? ?
44 is the only funny one
i love the pen one. My best friend does that. I love 58 and I love 61. How'd you paste this long list? i thought there was word limits.
Haha lol, very nice. But I don't think this belongs in the singles and dating category ;)
ur a loser!
63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
1. When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?';
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
rotflmao i love it my stomachs hurts from reading it it took me 10 minutes to answer this damn shame.63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
I know 69 ways to do it
Someone had a lot of time.
ha ha ha
nice one
thx for the tip!
heheheheheheeeee
funny!!! i'll try that someday!!!!!!
star 4u!!
i also no 69 ways!!! (if u catch my drift)
LOL I like it!
rofl!
you will def be going to jail!!
Ha! I love 61:)
these are really hilarious
funny, gotta try 58-59!
Hilarious! Funny! 700!
hahahaha loved 'em all!!!!
very funny!! Thanks...only wish I had the nerve to try a few of these someday...if the occasion arises!!
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
rotflmao i love it my stomachs hurts from reading it it took me 10 minutes to answer this damn shame.63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop?
I know 69 ways to do it
Someone had a lot of time.
ha ha ha
nice one
thx for the tip!
heheheheheheeeee
funny!!! i'll try that someday!!!!!!
star 4u!!
i also no 69 ways!!! (if u catch my drift)
LOL I like it!
rofl!
you will def be going to jail!!
Ha! I love 61:)
these are really hilarious
funny, gotta try 58-59!
Hilarious! Funny! 700!
hahahaha loved 'em all!!!!
very funny!! Thanks...only wish I had the nerve to try a few of these someday...if the occasion arises!!
63 ways to make a cop mad.?
1. When you get pulled over, say ';What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?';
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 ways to make a cop mad.?
omg fantastic.....loved it .....gave me a good laugh
.....good job.....keep up the good ones63 ways to make a cop mad.?
Superb observation, lol, I had to laugh at most of those....have a gold star..
hahaha!!
they are really good. well done.!!
xx
heeheee funny!! lol made me smile =]
ROFL I LOVED THIS
****************************************鈥?br>
most were funny but not all
id give it 5 stars if i could.
to stoned to remember any of that
HAHAHHAHA!!!!!HEHEHE!!!!!!!LOL!!
omfg i ****** love them i like 59
LOL
lol funny
lol....good 1.....
long but good
HAHAH
Lol, that's funny... =P
Here's some more to add to your list;
(I got them from a chain mail..)
--Things you should NEVER say to a cop--
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are you Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says ';Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?';
You probably shouldn't respond with,';Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?';
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say ';Usually my dates buy me dinner first';
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say ';Oops! That's the wrong name.';
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say ';License and registration, please'; right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing ';La La La, I can't hear you!';
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say ';Look at the pretty colors!';
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party63 ways to make a cop mad.?
omg fantastic.....loved it .....gave me a good laugh
.....good job.....keep up the good ones63 ways to make a cop mad.?
Superb observation, lol, I had to laugh at most of those....have a gold star..
hahaha!!
they are really good. well done.!!
xx
heeheee funny!! lol made me smile =]
ROFL I LOVED THIS
****************************************鈥?br>
most were funny but not all
id give it 5 stars if i could.
to stoned to remember any of that
HAHAHHAHA!!!!!HEHEHE!!!!!!!LOL!!
omfg i ****** love them i like 59
LOL
lol funny
lol....good 1.....
long but good
HAHAH
Lol, that's funny... =P
Here's some more to add to your list;
(I got them from a chain mail..)
--Things you should NEVER say to a cop--
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are you Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says ';Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?';
You probably shouldn't respond with,';Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?';
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)