Baby shower disappointment (very long)?

My SIL is pregnant and I was really excited about throwing a baby shower for her. Now all I can think is why?





My husband's brother's wife and I were going to throw one together for our SIL. My MIL happened to be there when I brought up the topic and she mentioned that she wanted to do a Going Away party for my BIL who is leaving for the Army the same weekend that I wanted to do the baby shower. My MIL and husband's brother's wife decided that it would be a great idea to just combine both the baby shower and the Going Away party. I think this is the worst idea ever. I was hoping to have just females and kids since I know none of the guys want to babysit. Now it will be all the relatives. This is close to 50 people in a small house. My SIL doesn't care as long as she gets her gifts.





I know I shouldn't care since none of them seem to care but I can't help but be disappointed. I wonder why none of them care at all. Now I don't even know how to go about planning games. Most of the women can't read or write in English or our native tongue. The men will take over the living room which leaves all the women crowded in the kitchen which is also where all the food will be so people will be coming and going. The only games I can think of is guessing how big my SIL's tummy is and guessing how much candy/items are in a jar. Most of the women are old and I know they'll be too embarrassed to do much because of the men present. If you know of any other games I can possibly do, please say so. I want to make the best of the situation. Keep in mind the limited room. Most of us will be standing since the kitchen is small.





Another thing, I happened to mention that my husband wanted to do our son's birthday that weekend too but I didn't want to do a birthday party period. My husband's brother's wife thought it would be a great idea to do my son's birthday along with the baby shower and the go away party. I tried telling her no nicely but she said it's not a big deal since all we need is a cake for him. I only have one child, how can it not be a big deal? My son IS a big deal to me. I couldn't believe how inconsiderate she sounded when she told me it wasn't a big deal. I was seething inside but I just smiled and told her No. I raged about it to my husband and even he doesn't like the idea.





Would you agree to doing a birthday party for your child along with a baby shower and a go way party?





My son is turning 2. Last year we had a big party for him and I was told by my husband's brother's wife that I should have had a smaller party because he won't remember it any way. It's hard to throw a small party when we come from such big families.Baby shower disappointment (very long)?
WOW! The 1st thing that came to my mind was REALLY?!?!?! I mean a shower, going away party, and birthday party all at the same time? Or even in the same weekend? NO!





As for the shower, I would be mad if someone wanted to do another party at the same time. It would also offend me, but I really think that's just cause I'm prego now, and my thoughts and hormones are everywhere. If you are having a women's only shower, then yes it would be weird with guys there. And it's not fair to cram all of the women in the kitchen for their shower, and then the guys in the living room.





If you don't want to do a big or any party for your son, that is your and your husband's choice, no one elses. If it were me I would still have something for close famliy.








I went to a shower and guests cut yarn that they thought would be big enough to fit around the pregnant ladys belly and who every cmae the closest to her actual size won.Baby shower disappointment (very long)?
I am so glad I'm not married to you- sorry. you need to focus on whats important in life. He's 2!





Please try to change and grow up -for your husband and kids sake.
Blu858 - you have no idea what you're talking about, YOU grow up and stop acting like a douche bag.





I think your family should stop interfering so much and let you do things the way you were going to do them. I wouldn't want to add my 2 year olds party into THAT mix, it's too damn hectic, and little kids birthday parties should be all about them, so I feel you.





I think that the baby shower should be separate, partly to alleviate stress from you as the hostess, and partly because a baby shower is all about the mommy to be and now she won't have all the attention....
Unfortunately it can be hard when there are several family members wanting to throw parties in a limited amount of time. Ask your SIL what she wants. (When I was getting married I only wanted 1 bridal shower and I wanted it to be hosted by my Matron of Honor...I had other family members who wanted to throw another one and I finally had to tell them that I only wanted 1 shower...I didn't want my family members competing over who could throw the best shower.) Ask her in private if she would rather have a separate shower without the going away party or combine the two.





Games: At one of my baby showers everyone had to put a piece of paper on the top of their head and then they had 1 minute to draw what they thought the baby would look like. (While the paper was on their head. Everyone put their name on the back of the picture and then we displayed them all and picked the best/funnies one.) I've also done a game where you put 10-30 baby items in a basket and give everyone a look. Then you take the basket away and have everyone write down what was in it. The person who remembers the most wins. (I really enjoy this one because you put things that the person will use. For me if I am hosting the shower the things would be part of my gift to her...bottles, pacifiers, milacon, comb, towel...anything you can think of that she wold use for a baby.)
Sounds like they all come from a big, boisterous family that just loves get togethers and will come up with any excuse for one. Not a bad idea, but obviously not what you had in mind.





I think to keep the peace, just go with the flow. Have a huge party and invite everyone. Don't try to make it a traditional shower with games, ladyfinger cookies, tea, and finger sandwiches -- just an all out huge family party, kind of like a family reunion. Yes, there will be baby gifts and probably gifts for your son too, but that's ok. Just enjoy being together. Maybe the weather will cooperate and the men can hang around outside for a while to give you all a bit of space.





Then the following weekend, give your son a special party just for him -- a couple of friends, mom and dad and grandparents. It will still be HIS special day, but no one will feel left out because they were at this first multi-purpose/combination shower/goodbye/birthday party.
When my son turned 2 I just had a cake for him at our annual family party/reunion. I just let my family know that I was also doing his birthday at the party to make sure those who had kids to bring them. I actually am all for combining parties. The more the merrier. That's my philosophy. I'm not sure what is ur ethnicity but we don't do babyshowers the traditonal american way with all women. Ours are co-ed with music and dancing and having lots of fun. I prefer it that way. My husband is american and I told him to make sure that whatever he does, make sure we have a co-ed shower. I love to see all our family and friends get together and party. If you are worried about space, is there anyway you can rent out a hall or something? Is it going to be cold out, if not then you can probably have it outside. JMO!
You Know your childs birthday is a BIG DEAL!!! im sorry but screw ur inlaws in that case u should just thrown ur bay his party sine at the end they dont care of how thier party turn out come on babyshower/going away party how dumb!!! each mother to be is anxious for thier baby shwer and to hav to sshare it w a going away party!!!! u knw i get those stpid coments too my baby is turning one and im thoring him a big party also which some people dont agree';cuz he wont remeber '; ut i dont dont to me its a very important thing in our lives!!!!!
';Would you agree to doing a birthday party for your child along with a baby shower and a go way party?';





NO. If it had to come down to rescheduling the birthday party, that's what I would do. My daughter just turned 2 in February, and I wanted her to have her own special party. She had so much fun, I wouldn't have had it any other way.





Just throwing this out there - it's generally pretty inexpensive to rent out the basement of a church or something. You don't even necessarily need to be a member... we had one of the converted sanctuaries at a church for my baby shower, and we weren't members there. It would give you the extra space you need without a lot of extra cost. Our house is *really* small, and there's no WAY I could fit 50 people. We had less than 20 for my daughter's 2nd, and it felt like we were sitting on each other.





Good luck.