How do you think of this weird story I wrote?

The leader ducked his head behind the giant rock as the wild pig cantered by. His companions crouched behind him watching vehemently at their prey. When the pig got further away, the leader pointed at the pig with his crooked finger and muttered an order. 鈥楩ollow that pig and don鈥檛 let it notice us鈥? His companions nodded in response and rose up. They tiptoed in silence behind the bushes as they kept up with their prey. When they almost reached the beast, the pig suddenly sense the grating sounds of the dead leaves. It groaned and fastened its pace. The leader again gathered the hunters to his side and said, 鈥楽urround it from the front and when it turns back, dig your spears into its flesh.鈥?

The hunters began running toward the pig creating loud crunching sounds as they yelled to each other. The pig scrambled as it turned in all directions. But before it could go any further, the hunters were already in front of it blocking its way. It shrieked and leaped backward. The hunters who were blocking the back lunged forward and stuck their spears into the creature's furry flesh. The pig screamed miserably and tried to break away from an un-guarded corner but before it could, another spear ran through its neck. The pig collapse without another breath and died. Blood streamed out from the wounded parts sprinkling the ground with red. Blood stains on the hunters鈥?spears were also leaking onto their feet. The leader drew forward and examined the pig, assuring if the pig was completely dead. 鈥楴ow, let us go back,鈥?the leader said in a relief tongue of voice and ordered the men to tie the pig feet up with the ropes. After that, they carried the dead body back toward their village. Blood was spaying all over the forest paths during the way back until the pig body was completely drained. Children and women were gathering around the pig as the hunters lay them on a nearby stone when they got back. They were exhausted and fatigue after hunting such a large animal. Sweat soaked their entire body which forces them to have to wash themselves. Women were assembling the food while the men were hanging the pig on top of the fire. Children were dressed up in fashionable dark clothes dancing and chanting around the fields with raucous and bulky instruments banging against the stones creating neat tunes and rhythms. 鈥極oh la la, ooh la la, ooh la la鈥︹€?鈥?br>


Suggestions please???? I just wrote this story for fun because i'm so bored. I'm only a 14 years old baby so please be tolerant with my terrible organization.How do you think of this weird story I wrote?
If your only 14, then I would say your doing well for your age. To make this story better, the best thing I can suggest is to try and tell this same story with only half the words. Believe me, you can do it. This is the fastest way you can improve your grammar.

Have you ever looked at a professionally written book and just sat and examined the grammar and punctuation? I used to do that when I was a kid.