Boyfriend needs desire?

If I said to you that if I walked out in a sexy outfit wanting to turn you on so we could make love and you rejected me and at that point I no longer felt sexual anymore..I guess my point is how do I when the man I am in love with just told me he isn't interested in me, I would find it very hard to get over that and get into a vibrator right then and there. Now to get a vibrator out and lay on the bed and have him walk in on it and aske him if he wants to join me to make this better..that is totally different but something in my relationship I feel so under pressure that I have not felt easy and comofortable to try that... Here is the story..



Please help my head think clearly here.



My bf got upset at me and left this morning because he said last Feb. when I told him that he was the greatest lover because I hated intercourse before, that is twas always painful to me with my ex husband because he was bigger and now with him, it felt so good and I am actually having orgasms through intercourse, something I have never done before, he said that statement of telling him my ex was bigger was like chopping his dick off.



But he wanted to move past it, so he told me what I needed to do. He said you need to show me desire, you need to let me know I am the greatest lover and make me feel that.



He said to me this morning, you tell me how much pleasure my tongue gives you, yet the way you make me feel is that if it got chopped off tomorrow you would be, honey I am so sorry, it will be ok. I told him I would not be happy that something that could give me alot of pleasure could no longer be but I also know we could figure out something else and my main concern would be you. He said that right there is it in a nutshell. His tongue being cut off is not all that important because it was really not all that good and desirable.



He also said, you come out in a nightie and I show no interest, desire is saying screw you and getting up and going into the bedroom to use your vibrator. He asked me how I would feel if I did that and he walked in. I told him I would be sad that it was not you doing that to me because a vibrator can't compare to what you do to me, it is not what I wanted. He asked me to be honest, so I told him that when I came out to you and you basically rejected me, going in a grabbing a vibrator would not be something I would find myself doing because what I was desiring was you. Your tongue can only make me feel that way, not a vibrator and I would feel hurt and that would turn me off and thinking about going into the bedroom and turning the vibrator on would probably not be something I would find myself doing. He said see there again you go...cutting me down as to what I am trying to show you desire is.



He left saying I want to kill desire in our relationship. That I don't have desire, that I will do anything to make him feel bad about himself and not care. He told me that I asked you for what I need. I need you to show me desire and if that means behaving like someone your not, you made the comment, you needed to help me get back on track and you have choosen not to. He said I have choosen not to want to get to know him sexually and that makes him feel bad about himself too because I just don't care.



I told him doesn't the women coming on in the sexy night show desire, she wants you to make love to her, I would tell him what I wanted him to do to me or what I wanted. He said no that is not desire. Desire is a strong need to get what you want and you won't stop until you get it and you show nothing like that in this bedroom. Point is I do desire him so much, but I can't seem to get it across to make him see it. He says it is because I don't have it, because if I did, I would know how to show it. I just feel so sad...Boyfriend needs desire?
That was hugely long and hugely sad. Your bf is really suffering from a lack of confidence. I'm not sure what else you could do to show him you love him and his sexiness.



Honestly, you've done all the right things. I guess the only thing left is to just attack him. Sadly, though, I'm thinking he'll find some flaw in that as well. I hope it works for you. You sound like a genuinely nice, goodhearted lady.



Good luck!