Do I have the talent to be a successful author? Here is a bit of writing please tell me what you think.?

Iknow I am only 15. But I am serious in a career as an author. This writing is not from my 'book' I am working on, otherwise I'd have it stolen. And I know it aint long but then you'd stop reading.



This is not normal. This is a scene from a horrifically written play with blood splatters imprinted onto the paper from the night before. The blood would still be hot and sticky, which is even more outrageously strange. This is a moment only ghosts could feel at an equal temperature with, but even they would turn a shade paler. This is the almost elapsed second when you taste the harsh liquor of wine for the very first time of that night, and it stings your lips and it turns the insides of your mouth old. This bitter, mind altering drink will make sure it turns your teeth icy like a child with their window open in the middle of a most frightful and wintry night. Except, most unfortunately, this is that very split second but instead it belongs to me eternally. This is my aching treat. The gummy pleasures of life and its juicy centre. Oh how my mother used to make me pray for this life. Dear lord, thank you for giving me the gift of an unwanted touch, of an unwanted pair of shaky hands, of an unwanted male buried deep inside me shattering bliss and smothering it with pain. Again. Thank you lord.

This is not normal. To know this intruder of my body and blood that once wears shamefully on his bed sheets is lost at sea with only but a corpse in his place somewhere should bring me a fulfilling taste of safety and warmth. But instead I am deprived of that appetizing sensation worn on other women tongues. Instead I wear the tongue that barley works at all anymore. A tongue once invaded with words cursing that intruder soul and his foulness. Cursing his devious green eyes and his poison laced bronze hair. How I would count the strands of venom that was entwined with the copper on his head. I never had time to finish counting.



Is it too much of a mouthful? Is it pathetic and kiddish, or is it just right? Please tell me what you think, it can only help me improve :)Do I have the talent to be a successful author? Here is a bit of writing please tell me what you think.?
I';m 16 and want to write too, except poetry...maybe a novel who knows. In my opinion I think you are really good. I like it, except maybe when you describe the stuff don't make it soo long. Instead try to make the over all piece longer and make new sentences to go with the old ones so it is well described but not all at once....idk if that makes any sense haha sorry. I hope I helped! Good luck!Do I have the talent to be a successful author? Here is a bit of writing please tell me what you think.?
Pretty good.
';This is a moment only ghosts could feel at an equal temperature with, but even they would turn a shade paler.';



Hi Jenna. Perhaps you may want to omit that line. It's a bit cheesy and doesn't really fit into this story. But the rest of your story is very interesting. I read it all about 3 times. Is this about a woman being violated?
Before I analyze the excerpt I just want to say that even if you have no talent for writing now, like almost every passion worth pursuing, you can get better if you strive to improve. If you truly want to be a good writer then you should just take initiative and write as much as you can. I have been writing seriously as an aspiring novelist since I was around your age (I'm 19 currently) and even I cannot honestly say that my own writing doesn't need some work. I've found that to be truly adept at writing you will have to learn about it continuously and practice as much as you can. You should get the objective criticism of others, yes, but the decision to keep writing ultimately depends on your own will.



The writing itself seems a little superfluous and some of the metaphors and descriptions seemed mix. I'm not entirely sure what this passage is trying to depict honestly. It seems that the description is so abstract and so focused on exciting the reader that it fails to actually portray what the character is seeing. Try to be direct with your writing and write every word with a purpose.



Try to take this as constructive criticism from a fellow writer and a well-versed reader. I have faith that if you try your best, read up on books on the craft of writing, read a lot of fiction, and surround yourself with people who like to write as well (online or in real life) then you will have all the tools you need to write well. A really lovely writing community online is fmwriters.com which has both forums and a chatroom (the chatroom I frequent often). Although, since you're really young I suggest that you read the forum rules (because there are a lot of restrictions setup to protect minors). I hope this advice helps. :)