Mother-In-Law Problem- Need help very badly! ?

Hi, I am having serious mother in law problems- PLEASE read and give me suggestions..insight...anything...prayer鈥?would be appreciated as well!





See, first off, she lives RIGHT across the parking lot in the same apt complex, so does his sister- they can never leave my husband alone no matter where he goes, so they live way to close.



Okay- When I came here to live with him a year ago, we had to live in his mothers apt until our apt opened up. She was nothing but horrid to me the first day. she would call me a slut, tell bill his other gfs were prettier than me right in front of me so i could hear it (which they are not by the way LOL), she even accused me of being lazy- so I cleaned her entire house the 3rd day I had ever even known her, and then she had the nerve to say I stole her perfume and all of this other junk.



Now, over the year she has been horrible. at our wedding she had to be forced by bills sister to go. she didnt even comb her hair for our wedding and didnt say a word to me the whole time. By the reception, she told bill that our marriage was a big mistake and he shouldnt have married me. then at our wedding shower which she had at her house that his sister put together, she came up behind me in front of his whole family and said loudly ';Wow, you must be eating a lot, your getting pretty fat'; (I was only 120 lbs, 5 2', im not that fat...) so I ran out of her apt crying and went back to our apt and just cried all night.



Now I am pregnant with our first child, I am about 17 weeks. we are so excited about the pregnancy, but her first reaction when we told her not to long ago was total apathy. She keeps saying that Bill cant take care of a child and I will be a horrible mother and all of this other stuff right to her own son.



Then she calls every day about 6 times, and if he ignores her call, she either comes over to bother us, or she will keep calling until he finally cant take it anymore and picks up. I cant even check the mail in peace because she stares out her window at our apt ALL the time (its in her view) so she always calls about 10 minutes after i get back in and gets nosey and asks what we got in the mail, and when I get packages from my family, she always happens to see the mail truck or UPS guy and ALWAYS calls to nose her way into what we got and why and how we bought it and what is it for and why do we need it, the woman just wont stop! And whenever we get a ride on the transit bus to walmart she questions where we went, why we went, what we bought, and wont mind her buisiness! she even comments on what I am wearing sometimes!! I swear she just doesnt stop staring out the window at our house! she always knows what we are doing, we have no privacy at all, and are getting questioned left and right- we cant even drink anything or eat anything without her asking my husband WHY....



And then this week, on sunday, my husband and I went to our church and his mother who hasnt been to church in YEARS (she says that shes a BIG time christian and preaches a ton, but shes one of those who will never go to church) and she went, and she is always so nasty and cold to me, and I have held my tongue for a year around her and I was so scared i would say something to her, I actually got upset and cried and my husband and i ended up fighting at church (after) over it at the lunch they were having, and I felt horrible about that,. She has come so close to breaking us up its not even funny.



Then for our anniversary, my grandparents sent us omaha steaks, roses, and money, and cards, what did his mother give us?? not even a phone call to congratulate us on our first anniversary, not a card, no acknowledgment whatsoever- just like she blew off my husbands birthday in june and never even gave him a gift. the woman actually waited until the end of their conversation on the phone on his birthday to even say happy birthday- as an afterthought.



And today we had church again, and we get a ride in the church bus, but this time, the pastor stopped outside her apt and she got in the van...so that meant i would have to be around her. And everytime i am around her she ignores me or she says something cruel to me, so to avoid saying anything cruel to her in retaliation, I got out of the van and went back home and didnt go to church, and my husband got out as well because he didnt want to be near his mother without me. Now I feel horrible that I dont like her, but I feel worse that my dislike for her is keeping me away from church and I am having such a hard time dealing with how much I cannot stand her. What should I do??? How do I deal with her and this situation?? thank youMother-In-Law Problem- Need help very badly! ?
Every time that you run away crying---she wins. Don't let her win. Kill her with kindness. Compliment her hair when it looks like crap. Tell her that you love her dress if it is wrinkled. If she slams you with insults, say something like you wish that you had as close of a relationship with God that she does so that you too could pass judgment on people the same way that she does. Take a deep breath and pick her worst feature then twist it into a sick compliment. That will drive her nuts and bingo---you win. Look at it like a game and ignore her ugly words. Remember -- one day in the future, she will be dead and ---you win! Mother-In-Law Problem- Need help very badly! ?
You and your husband need to get as far away from this woman as possible as quickly as possible. There is no remedy to the situation that will allow you to stay where you are.
Don't allow her to push your buttons. Don't cry. Kill her with kindness. You allow her to hurt you. No matter what she says just blow it off. You cant change anyone but yourself.
Move out of your apartment as far away from her as possible! Does your husband even stand up to her when she is being cruel and nasty to the both of you? Sorry that's all of the advice I can give, but I mean what else CAN you do? Standing up to her and getting in her face isn't going to make things any better. At least if you're far away she can't stare out her window at you like a nosy bored a s s hole! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this hun, especially since you're pregnant and stressed out enough. Get away and get away FAST!
move away from her as far as possible.
Your mother-in-law is not the problem. Your husband is the problem. He needs to be a man. He needs to tell his mother that she is not to call or come over unless she can treat ';his wife, the love of his life'; with respect and dignity. He needs to tell her that if she ever wishes to see or hold her grandchild she needs to change her behavior. If she does not, the two of you need to find an apartment across town and move! Find another church, make new friends and raise your baby together in happiness. Best of luck.
This woman has some real security issues - does she have a husband? Sounds like she has nothing else to do except fixate on her son. What a freakn nightmare.



These people are right that are telling you to move - this will solve a lot of your problems. She has no respect for you or your privacy. Perhaps you need to give your husband an ultimatum - move and save your marriage or simply wait for its inevitable disintegration. Even if you ignore her, don't take it to heart, etc etc, the fact that she is literally in your face is going to drive you more and more insane.
Fist of all, why in hell you moved in with her and let her push you around and insult you? You put up with everything as well as your husband letting your mother treat you that way. Does your husband have a backbone to stand up for you especially when you are pregnant? She gets away with everything because you let her do that. Move away, stand up for your family.
I am sorry, but it doesn't seem as though you have a problem with your MIL--you seem to have a problem with your husband not putting his psycho mother in her place. Any husband that would allow his mother to speak to and treat his wife the way his treats you is not worth much. Move out of that apt complex and get far away from her. Do not be afraid to tell her to mind her business if your husband will not tell her (which he should have a long time ago).
ONG! That sounds like my MIL. When we got married, 42 yrs ago, neither set of parents approved. Mine did not come to the wedding and have not spoken to us since. Her father liked me, but unfortunately, he died 3 yrs later. Her mother fought at us and yelled at us till they day she died. I said ';fought at'; because we never fought back. They would come over unannounced and use their key that was ';for emergency only.'; One time we saw them coming and quickly stripped and started making love on the couch. They walked right in. My wife yelled at her that we were trying to make a grand baby and if they ever wanted one, they should leave right now. We never stopped the action. But they never again came over without calling first. She never said one nice word to me in over 32 yrs. If I picked her up in the blue car, she bitched that I didn't bring the red car, and vice versa if I picked her up in the red car. She was never happy with our house, our life, our children, or anything. We went out of our way to NOT live near them, but close enough to drop in on them once a week. (If we had moved away and they came to visit for a week, I would be in jail for murder. lol) We put on a united front. We left their place a soon as she started in on us. (Sometimes we didn't even get our clothes off. ) She was an evil, wicked, mean, bad and nasty woman. She had no friends. At her funeral there was not one person present that was non family, except the minister. When she was coming over, we and the kids would bet each other on what she would ***** about first, and how many minutes it would take her. One time, she bitched about the welcome mat before she even stepped in. Our tactic was just to laugh it off. Good luck with your MIL. YOU MUST MOVE AWAY FROM HER.
Honey I thought that i was the only one with mother in law problems. I can totally relate to what you are going through. Do what i did. Stand up to her and tell her how you feel. If your husband loves you, he will stand by you and he will also respect you for it in the long run. Thanks to my mol i came hairline close to losing my husband. Oh if i only knew who you were sweetheart I could tell you some stories that would make your mother in law look like a saint.
You definitely need to move. It is the only way possible to have some space from her. Especially w/ the baby coming. I live in the same yard w/ my inlaws but it is alot of hassle. Lots of boundaries are necessary, and you can't always expect your husband to step up to the plate. Sometimes you just have to be a bit#ch in order to get results. If your husband doesn't stand up to her and defend you, then by all means assert yourself w/ her. She may hate your guts, but you don't need to accept her treatment of you.