How do you deal with a mother-in-law who hates you??

Hi, I am having serious mother in law problems- PLEASE read and give me suggestions..insight...anything...prayer鈥?would be appreciated as well!





See, first off, she lives RIGHT across the parking lot in the same apt complex, so does his sister- they can never leave my husband alone no matter where he goes, so they live way to close.



Okay- When I came here to live with him a year ago, we had to live in his mothers apt until our apt opened up. She was nothing but horrid to me the first day. she would call me a slut, tell bill his other gfs were prettier than me right in front of me so i could hear it (which they are not by the way LOL), she even accused me of being lazy- so I cleaned her entire house the 3rd day I had ever even known her, and then she had the nerve to say I stole her perfume and all of this other junk.



Now, over the year she has been horrible. at our wedding she had to be forced by bills sister to go. she didnt even comb her hair for our wedding and didnt say a word to me the whole time. By the reception, she told bill that our marriage was a big mistake and he shouldnt have married me. then at our wedding shower which she had at her house that his sister put together, she came up behind me in front of his whole family and said loudly ';Wow, you must be eating a lot, your getting pretty fat'; (I was only 120 lbs, 5 2', im not that fat...) so I ran out of her apt crying and went back to our apt and just cried all night.



Now I am pregnant with our first child, I am about 17 weeks. we are so excited about the pregnancy, but her first reaction when we told her not to long ago was total apathy. She keeps saying that Bill cant take care of a child and I will be a horrible mother and all of this other stuff right to her own son.



Then she calls every day about 6 times, and if he ignores her call, she either comes over to bother us, or she will keep calling until he finally cant take it anymore and picks up. I cant even check the mail in peace because she stares out her window at our apt ALL the time (its in her view) so she always calls about 10 minutes after i get back in and gets nosey and asks what we got in the mail, and when I get packages from my family, she always happens to see the mail truck or UPS guy and ALWAYS calls to nose her way into what we got and why and how we bought it and what is it for and why do we need it, the woman just wont stop! And whenever we get a ride on the transit bus to walmart she questions where we went, why we went, what we bought, and wont mind her buisiness! she even comments on what I am wearing sometimes!! I swear she just doesnt stop staring out the window at our house! she always knows what we are doing, we have no privacy at all, and are getting questioned left and right- we cant even drink anything or eat anything without her asking my husband WHY....



And then this week, on sunday, my husband and I went to our church and his mother who hasnt been to church in YEARS (she says that shes a BIG time christian and preaches a ton, but shes one of those who will never go to church) and she went, and she is always so nasty and cold to me, and I have held my tongue for a year around her and I was so scared i would say something to her, I actually got upset and cried and my husband and i ended up fighting at church (after) over it at the lunch they were having, and I felt horrible about that,. She has come so close to breaking us up its not even funny.



Then for our anniversary, my grandparents sent us omaha steaks, roses, and money, and cards, what did his mother give us?? not even a phone call to congratulate us on our first anniversary, not a card, no acknowledgment whatsoever- just like she blew off my husbands birthday in june and never even gave him a gift. the woman actually waited until the end of their conversation on the phone on his birthday to even say happy birthday- as an afterthought.



And today we had church again, and we get a ride in the church bus, but this time, the pastor stopped outside her apt and she got in the van...so that meant i would have to be around her. And everytime i am around her she ignores me or she says something cruel to me, so to avoid saying anything cruel to her in retaliation, I got out of the van and went back home and didnt go to church, and my husband got out as well because he didnt want to be near his mother without me. Now I feel horrible that I dont like her, but I feel worse that my dislike for her is keeping me away from church and I am having such a hard time dealing with how much I cannot stand her. What should I do??? How do I deal with her and this situation?? thank youHow do you deal with a mother-in-law who hates you??
i know just how you feel!! my mother in law lives like 4 or 5 miles away. his sister lives 2 miles away. my sister in law and i were best friends til just recently. there mother took off and left them for another man for 2 or 3 years. she didn't like me from the day we started dating, gave him the choice to move out or break up with me. called me a bunch of names and stuff like that. then when she found out we got engages she text him and said so i heard you asked that girl to marry you. didn't want to invite her to the bridal shower cuz i didn't like her. she threw a huge fit';fine i'll just have one myself.'; so i ended up inviting her. suprisingly the wedding went well. then i got pregnant a month later..not on accident, we planned it, she made the comment that i had gotten pregnant before the wedding because a month before my due date i was dialating already. she pushed and pushed to be in the room and i didn't want her to, but she was anyways. my baby has a brace for hip displasha* and can't be layed on her belly, we told her that when we let her stay the night. she layed her on her belly in a bunch of cat hair and had a rash on her face when we picked her up. well we got into a fight about that. and now she's going to a lawyer for grandparent rights. so i know how you feel. i think you should move away from his mother and never let you child stay with her!!How do you deal with a mother-in-law who hates you??
WOW! I am so sorry! No one should have to live this way. Have you and your husband thought about moving? That will earn you a little privacy. Maybe join a different Church congregation as well. I know it doesn't seem fair that you should have to change all the aspects of your life but it seems like the only way you will escape is to just disappear. I actually went through a similar situation with my sister-in-law and she has no idea where I live now and my life is much better because of it. Until you can get away, kill them with kindness. If you don't let it show that they are hurting you, and you act as if you are happy regardless of what they say or do, they will lose their edge and their will to keep harassing you. It isn't as fun if they are not getting the reaction they want. Good Luck to you!
Unfortunately, you now are family members. It's just sad that you two don't get along. Hopefully once the baby comes her tune will change. Most often times, that's what happens. The relationship won't be perfect, but she may become more bearable to you.



And you may get to use her...as a low cost or no cost babysitter.



Good luck!